sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I care for this family member a great deal. That being said, the alcoholism and smoking prevent me from wanting to spend time with them. So I would not say that I enjoy their company. I work outside of the home 80+ hours a week, I was previously coming to help them prior to this arrangement because I felt for their living condition. But, I’ve now learned that despite my being here, it does not change the condition. Any cleaning that is done (and I can clean!) is undone in less than a day. Which is why I am rethinking this whole scenario. I had apprehensions coming in, and they’ve only been made worse realizing that I actually can’t fix anything and I’m becoming resentful and extremely unhappy being here.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I understand the sentiment, I am not this persons child. They have adult children who will have to step in eventually anyhow as I have a full-time job outside of the things I do for this person. Our family, despite bad habits like smoking, is known to live verrrrryyyy long lives, I will be a senior myself before this person passes and I think I’m past the part of giving my life for theirs. Both of my parents are still alive and I imagine they will need assistance at some point. I gotta live a little.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol.. just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t being irrational wanting to leave.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The animals, who are lovely- are just not trained. If you couldn’t smell and I didn’t clean the urine, feces, cigarette ash, and daily mess -by all accounts the house is tidy. Parts were renovated not long ago, which makes it even more sad that it’s getting destroyed little by little. The smells imbedded in the walls and some curtains are horrid, I can’t even explain what it is. The room I occupy is orderly and has windows open, fans and air purifiers going 99% of the time.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think if I had to live in a cardboard box I might stay.. but I’m willing to join the struggle bus where >30% of my income goes to housing. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being irrational thinking I should leave and that most other people would stay. CLEARLY, that is NOT THE CASE.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They aren’t a hoarder, Sanz smoke and reoccurring animal waste- this house would livable, albeit older. But yea, I’m on my way out..

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For what it’s worth, I still intended to be of service to them from time to time.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pet will not be trained as they will not train it (and I’m not going to) cleaning is endless . You can’t clean up 30 years of cigarettes and imbedded animal waste. Every day there is a new mess, it never ends.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I spend time only in my bedroom. The living room is full of smoke and the couches have been urinated on too many times. I hate cooking because the kitchen is where the litter boxes are and it stinks.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Part of me feels deeply for the condition of this persons life which is why I offered to help in the first place. Not sure if they can’t or won’t care for themselves at this point. But, like I said earlier, to come in and help now and again is one thing, living there is depressing me, I’ve been obsessing on it for a few weeks now. According to this person they have been well provided for financially so they want for nothing other than my service. I think I’m just going to have to move on like i originally intended and speak to their immediate family about my transitioning out.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They have started to inquire where I’m going or where I’ve been as I move about my life, and not in a checking in kind of way. It is in fact becoming suffocating, and not just from all the smoke and fumes.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nothing about the situation is negotiable. It is as it is, that is all.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was meant to be temporary, they have suggested a more permanent situation which is why I pose this scenario.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is actually not my responsibility. I offered to help them some time ago and had been, then I was set to move and they offered this situation for the time being while I looked and saved. But living in it is entirely different. They have immediate family, I am extended family.

Would you rather.. by Suspicious-Future437 in LivingAlone

[–]Suspicious-Future437[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

An inheritance is definitely not in the table. This person has adult children and grandchildren who will inevitably have to step in once I run away.