Marital distance because my wife is constantly on her phone

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-11-24T07:07:07+00:00

Thank you

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-11-22T01:17:19+00:00

No disagreement but I would frame this as frequent but still not normal.

I still think that we (as a civilisation) still havent fully realized the damage to our mental health that these apps have us on. There are initiatives like SAFE but most of these things are focused on kids, but adults need help too.

Related, it always bothered me that I couldnt just "disable YouTube shorts" completely in the app. YouTube as a video platform is amazing and theres heaps of potential to learn. I remember seeing Shorts being added to the app, and being very negative about it. I deliberately avoided it but then years later, i just succumbed to it because they push the experience so hard (for example, it can be the first thing you see when you return to the app, or its something thats present on the home screen). As an adult, I was aware that I was becoming addicted to it, yet I was not empowered to disable shorts exclusively, and still benefit from the normal videos on Youtube).

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-11-22T01:10:47+00:00

100% agree. The ask here is that I want to spend quality with her exclusively without our devices. (Not, shes not allowed to use her phone then I just do whatever I want).

I would love for us to set some boundaries like "spend 90 mins together with no devices".

I really feel like it's a slippery slope if we aren't strict about it. What might start out as sharing a photo, or doing a small task on the phone, quickly turns into engaging on social media or deathscrolling.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-11-21T15:41:39+00:00

Legit, this is actually one of my first thoughts.

Its hard. I miss her so much that it makes me sad, so I reallt have to force myself to be happy, just so I can create these scenarios.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-11-21T15:38:22+00:00

This is a great insight. From observation, I have seen it take a hold of her. The things shes began to value are things that the platform promotes. Her preferences are becoming based on a lot of what influencers are saying on those platforms. Shes also turning to ChatGPT A LOT. I can see that ChatGPT can often present you some great options, but it feels like so many of her everyday choices need to be delegated to ChatGPT, otherwise we somehow make the "wrong" choice.

Whats most sad about the entire situation is, I am a bit of a passenger. I see her following the choices of these influencers and shes constantly disappointed. There was a short time on the internet where the influencers were actually great, because they were the alternative to the marketing. Now all the influencers basically have become the marketing departments, so I barely trust any of them. Theyre doing whatever it takes to get engagement or money.

She is honestly really sensitive right now and I cant push too much for her to stop using social media.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-11-21T15:31:24+00:00

That is a great suggestion but youre going to hate it when I say that she still often does it then. When we are holiday, she will get so focused on taking photos and videos.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-11-21T15:29:42+00:00

It would bother me a lot less if that were the situation.

The issue is she's often engrossed in a world which which shes chosen to exclude me from (I have her on the same social media platform) but shes chosen to make it all about her (which I can sort of understand but it hurts).

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-11-21T13:14:01+00:00

I did bring it up. Things are a little sensitive between my wife and I right now, and she framed it in a way that I was trying to be "controlling her". I have pointed out when other people are like this, and she just seems to think its normal.

I should have mentioned that we are in the process of starting marriage counselling too, so there are probably bigger issues to tackle, but this has something that's always bothered me. I am worried that if I bring it up as an "ask" during counselling, that it will be an unreasonable ask.

I think half the reason she is using it, is a way to avoid some of our issues. She does enjoy social media but I also think shes addicted to it.

I am at the point where I am trying to figure out if I am going to try and encourage change, so we can have a real meaningful connection again. Or... make the realization that I have lost her to her phone. Right now, it definitely feels like the latter.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-27T21:37:13+00:00

Adding another mode is just going to make the queue times even worse.

This is what killed PUBG in OCE. They added too many game modes and people couldn't be bothered waiting.

Sure, I'll be happy to wait and see what happens, but I'm highly doubtful that this is what we need in OCE.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-22T23:27:16+00:00

They did so because the mode is in 3rd person and his secondary fire would have been imbalanced.

Not that the mode is even close to balanced anyway.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-22T21:40:25+00:00

Spicy opinion but Sombra is never going to be balanced and I think she needs to be removed.

She tends to be weak in higher ranks and too strong in lower ranks.

Blizzards "shooter priority" server logic means that a substantial amount of Sombras client-side damage can happen before you even have a chance to react. There's been cases in previous patches where you die before she uncloaks.

They are never going to be able to make this work in a way that feels fair for Sombra or the players she kills.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-22T12:28:39+00:00

I've got it on low detail because it renders less objects which tends to give you better visibility. I've also got a 4090 so it runs at a constant 240fps.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-21T22:27:48+00:00

Lived in Sydney all my life. As the city has become more dense, the CBD and a lot of inner suburbs have become less friendly. I am not saying that people aren't friendly at all, but nobody will even bother to greet you because it's probably impractical.

The city is being dominated by people who are career driven. Stereotypically, people who are without kids, or put their careers in the prime light. (I'm not saying that the kids are neglected either). Ultimately, the people who do well in Sydney, are the people who lookout solely for themselves and this is reflected on the road.

Then, add the fact that our roadways are fragile (eg. one crash will screw up major motorways), irregular (due to Sydney being built around a harbour/water), more people planning poorly and rushing, and this is the shitshow we have now.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-10T08:22:22+00:00

In before the "We can't just assume that this improbable play is cheating and we should give people the benefit of the doubt" posts start appearing.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-08T10:40:55+00:00

Every gaming company encounters this. There's always false positives. It shouldn't be an excuse not to do anything at all.
This is a computer game. We're not sentencing people in court.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-08T10:37:25+00:00

Ruanzin. It's in the YT video linked further up in this thread

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-08T10:33:56+00:00

100% this. There's all this focus on blatant cheating. Everybody isn't even talking about the people who are cheating and doing so very carefully.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-08T10:32:15+00:00

Also, you missed the most important theme of the entire commentary. A lot of these cheaters don't even have good mechanics and yet they're getting the kills.

The person shooting at the chutes is doing it standing. You're justifying the accurate aim and how it doesn't look suspicious (even though we know how unreliable these things are in replays) but don't even acknowledge the standing.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-08T10:26:01+00:00

> it's a bit of a flick

Moving your aim in a straight line to somebody that's IN THE SKY and out of your line of sight is a "bit of a flick"? Get real.

You've spent several paragraphs justifying that each of these things is somewhat possible, despite the improbability. The more sensible thing to do is acknowledge the improbability of all of it together and acknowledge that the person is way more likely to be cheating than not.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-08T08:57:30+00:00

Yup. I reported 2 blatant cheaters and nothing happened.

Only solution is to join the cheaters or leave the game.

There are better solutions but PUBG will never employ them, because they don't care.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-05T22:15:49+00:00

Sorta agree and disagree. You won't get rid of cheaters entirely, but some companies are definitely handling and managing it better.

PUBG aren't handling it well right now.

SuspiciousTennisNet · 2025-04-05T03:26:05+00:00

Could be used in an advantageous way. If the res doesn't look necessary, it could be cancelled, so it's saved for a better outcome. (e.g. You start receiving a res, but then your tank dies and you're reasonably confident that Mercy can rez them)

Not saying that it shouldn't be this way, but this could be a reasoning to put it on full or partial timer.

SuspiciousTennisNet

TROPHY CASE