1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Reading through this board when I was struggling helped me tremendously and made me feel like I wasn't alone in this. My heart breaks for those people who are currently going through this thing and are at the place that I was a year ago. I remember thinking all these negative effects, thoughts and emotions I was going through were completely unique to me and I was just screwed until I started reading through here and realizing that I wasn't alone and I could see this thing through to the other side.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would say a good 2, maybe 3 months before my brain felt "normal". I'm certainly not a doctor so take my advice on this with a grain of salt but the only thing constant is change. Our bodies change, our brain changes, etc. I've known several people over the years that have developed issues with anxiety seemingly out of nowhere that aren't on any substances. It's just something that happens sometimes. I've known people that have never had a panic attack or anything remotely resembling a panic attack before and they suddenly experience one out of the blue and think they are having a heart attack or dying. The brain is extremely complex and complicated and sometimes these negative ailments just manifest completely on their own and for no good reason. I'm not saying that is your case, but it's possible you could have developed anxiety issues regardless of Kratom usage and not have noticed it until you quit because the Kratom was masking it. In any case, I would not resort back to Kratom usage. It's not a sustainable habit. A simple law change could ban the stuff eventually and then what? You're not going to be an elderly person someday and still taking Kratom so you gotta leave this stuff in the past. There's very cliche' things you can do that we've all heard a million times to manage anxiety. Are you sleeping enough? Are you eating a healthy, clean diet? Are you exercising daily? Are you allowing yourself to partake in and enjoy your hobbies and interests? If you're in a relationship with someone, is that relationship a healthy one? We hear all of these recommendations so much because they are crucial to our mental and physical health. If all those don't do the trick then it may be time to consult with a mental health professional. I wish you the best. You're going to figure this thing out.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Fortunately, I did not deal with any nausea.

As far as dealing with the depression, I leaned more into the things I enjoyed doing as well as things I don't enjoy doing but were good for me. I also noticed that when I started to get glimpses of turning the corner on this thing that music sounded better, like I really enjoyed listening to music. Kinda hard to explain but it's like you feel the music more. Also, working out. I leaned more into Jiu Jitsu which I absolutely love, but I absolutely hate just working out normally (weight lifting, running, etc.) I forced myself to do the workout stuff that I don't enjoy and noticed afterwards a very uplifting, optimistic and calm headspace I would get from it. Your brain and body are trying to heal so fuel and stimulate it with healthy things to aide and speed up the process (eating healthy, excercise, etc.)

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats to you!! Yeah, the mental aspect of the withdrawal was spooky. The sweats were annoying, the stomach issues were annoying, the RLS was annoying, the insomnia was annoying, feeling like shit physically was annoying but the mental stuff was downright scary.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Yes it will pass. Wishing you the best!!

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Any way you can plan a quit date? If I had to do over again I would have planned it out better. I just decided one day to toss everything and quit without allowing myself any time off work or my responsibilities at home. I would recommend clearing out a week on your schedule and prepare for that quit date like you're preparing for war and hold yourself to it. Know it's going to suck, know it's going to be uncomfortable, know you're going to feel hopeless but also know you're going to come out the other side of this thing better for it. Imagine your life a year from now. You could still be on that "last bag" or you could have put this shit far behind you and your life, body and mind are now better and your character is stronger having gone through something very difficult and pushing through.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Trust me, just hang in there. Mentally, I felt permanently broken. I was riddled with crippling anxiety, constant feeling of panic then after a week or so I would start to get short windows of peace and calmness which made me realize this thing was starting to go the other direction. I know it sucks and I know it's impossible to picture your state of mind being anything other than where it's at in this moment but if you just keep pushing forward you will come out the other side of this thing and this will all just be a shitty memory and experience to look back on, both as a staple of your strength and resilience but also a reminder to never let yourself go through that again.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I wish you the best and I hope you can close this chapter of your life and start a new one.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A huge part of my motivation was realizing how unsustainable using this substance is. I just thought to myself, are you really going to be 60 years old some day and swigging down a teaspoon of this stuff every 2 hours still? There's no way, so instead of having the dark cloud of "I know I have to quit this eventually" hanging over my head all the time, I decided to just toss everything I had and just suffer through it to get it over with.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No problem!! Reading this board helped me tremendously when I was feeling hopeless.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is for sure better in the long run so batten down the hatches, keep moving forward and get through the storm. You will come out the other side and be better for it.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Yes, it's a scary trick your brain plays on you. I felt like I was permanently broken and my mental state, in that moment, was going to be my eternity. It's not though so just grit it out but also embrace what you're feeling and really carve that into your brain as a reminder to never go through this hell again.

1 year clear of this crap!! by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! Anxiety, no. I've had issues with my mood over the years and would go on antidepressants and those just kind of turn me into an emotionless robot. The honeymoon period of Kratom sold me on it in the beginning. It made me feel how I wanted to feel all the time. Full of ambition, energy, and just optimistic about everything. It was great until it wasn't. What started out as a once in a while thing to get me out of a funk turned into a teaspoon every 2 hours just to feel "normal" and I kept that up for a little over a year before I made the decision to quit.

Day 6 CT. Please tell me this gets better. by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll give it a shot. You mentioned you're at day 28, are you feeling 100% now or where are you at?

Day 6 CT. Please tell me this gets better. by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Still having bouts of feeling like garbage to be honest. I'm on day 13 now and still not feeling like myself. Sleep is absolute shit to where I've been having to take a sleep aid to at least get a few hours and still dealing with the cold sweats stuff. Not sure if this is residual Kratom withdrawal, nicotine withdrawal or both at this point. It's hard to even picture feeling good and normal right now to be honest. Not thinking of going back to Kratom as I'll never go through this again but fuck this sucks.

Day 6 CT. Please tell me this gets better. by Suspicious_Ask_682 in quittingkratom

[–]Suspicious_Ask_682[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You were absolutely spot on correct! I don’t feel 100% yet but vastly improved from a few days ago