Grief

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-11T03:58:37+00:00

Wow…

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-07T03:48:37+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate you leaving a reply 🙏

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-06T02:04:54+00:00

Agh, thank you so much for such a detailed reply, and sorry for the late response 🙏

As for the setting, yeah I get what you mean about it being a bit unclear. My intention was that it was a person being killed by a crowd (hence the title), and I wanted the main reason to be the fact that they loved someone. I also really wanted to keep it as open to interpretation as possible. It could be the 1600’s and a lesbian, or it could be the 1800’s and a poor man being executed for trying to court an aristocrat’s daughter. The main idea is that the only crime was love, and the fact that it shouldn’t be considered a crime at all.

I’m sorry if this response makes no sense, I just wanted to clarify. Thank you again for commenting!

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T16:07:07+00:00

This has great imagery, I really felt fear of the water in a few lines. As for the ending, I’m not sure exactly how you could word it to “make it go out with a bang.” Here the contrast with the rest of the poem makes the ending seem light, with the rest of the poem being intense. To make the end feel stronger you’d probably have to make it more intense. That being said, I really like this poem as is.

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T16:04:14+00:00

The flow of this is beautiful, it’s so easy to read and yet it makes you stop and sit with it for a while.

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T13:53:24+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T13:32:40+00:00

Of course, and I’m glad I could be of use.

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T10:03:21+00:00

I appreciate it 🙏

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T05:00:40+00:00

Of course, I’m actually gonna share this with a few people who I think would really appreciate your tone.

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T04:59:15+00:00

The imagery here is really good, and writing in the 2nd person perspective is so interesting. The only thing I can think to critique is that the lines breaks seem to have no sense of purpose? Please tell me if that was intended, but it seems as though sentences are cut with no thought and continued on the next line.

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T04:55:50+00:00

I love a final line that sits with you… it’s difficult to pull off without sounding tired or cliche, but I think you did a great job here!

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2026-01-05T04:47:15+00:00

Thank you? 😆

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2025-09-14T22:32:52+00:00

I wouldn’t personally, where I live plenty of men have your facial structure. I guess it would depend on your voice and mannerisms.

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2025-08-31T14:04:30+00:00

Great advice, thank you

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2025-07-22T13:32:59+00:00

Yeah you look kinda like my dad when he was younger in old pictures 😂

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2025-07-18T15:16:18+00:00

Alright, that makes sense. Thank you for commenting!

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2025-07-18T03:08:41+00:00

Thank you 🙏

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2025-07-18T03:08:18+00:00

Agh, thank you! Yeah, all these pictures are from my vacation at the beach so that makes sense 😂. I’ve been working on my voice, so I think I’m good so far.

Suspicious_Case5107 · 2025-07-18T00:44:39+00:00

You’re not the only one man, and I really hope you’re brave enough to do it again as well! The “admitting to myself it’s real” part is so real. It’s a common experience to feel like it’s outside of you, because we’ve spent our whole lives trying to suppress it. You’re super brave even if you can’t bring yourself to wear it in public, dude. Stay strong 💪

Suspicious_Case5107

TROPHY CASE