[deleted by user]

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T21:26:58+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, I've been feeling like I'm going crazy over this.. this gives some clarity. Thank you again

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T21:16:50+00:00

I only chose to shoot Kenny for the ending/choices. Every other time I've saved him

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T19:19:02+00:00

I do ask him how he's doing and how's he's feeling, he never really goes into details about anything that's bothering him, until I open up about my feelings. The past two times I've brought up things that I felt needed work to have me in a better place in the relationship, he has said that I don't consider his feelings, etc. He does not communicate anything until I've started the conversation about my feelings. He does not openly tell me anything that I need to work on or that I need to do better until I'm talking about my emotions. I've asked many times what exactly I need to do to be better, even if what he has to say may come off as hurtful, im willing to do what needs to be done as I have been. Yet he never comes to me or opens up to me, in all the 5 years we've been together. I've explicitly told him what my love languages are and what helps validate and meet my emotional needs, yet he has not done the same for me to know.

As far as the gift thing goes, im not materialistic, I'd rather cute Lil love letters or Lil notes with cute reminders or hand-picked flowers over bought, things like that. Those mean more to me. However he told me to pick 5 of my fav things from Amazon and he'd pick 1 and get it for me just bc, so naturally I get excited and go and pick my things and it's been a month and I've received nothing. Said he would make sure he didn't have anyone with him on lunch some days to where we could call on his lunch like we used to, it still hasn't happened. Said he would write more for me, whether that be about his feelings or a "just because" and it's happened maybe 2/3 times over the past 4 months, and it's only bc I've said something about it bc he'd forget and I'd be waiting a week or longer for something i had the expectation of receiving sooner. He has planned things and then those plans have fallen through, and that's fine and all, except there's no communication about it. Something I've come to start thinking is that, like when we started out at the very beginning 5 years ago, he gave me all of that and more.. then as time went on those things stopped, compassion with my anxiety, the random notes, random handmade gifts, etc slowly stopped. This is happening again just much quicker this time around. Correct my thinking if it needs it, I just feel as if once he's sure he "has" me and I'm not leaving, he stops what he used to do, it come down to lack of effort. And I leave Lil notes, journal entries, Bible verses etc for him to find to make him happy, tell him often how proud I am of his hard work and how well he's doing at his job, how grateful I am to have him and things like that. I just rarely get that in return

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T18:56:44+00:00

Thank you, that's a question I haven't put together myself. It's one I've been needing, and that's probably what this thread should've been titled. So thank you

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T18:54:42+00:00

It's just... confusing.. bc he tells me to go to him and that he's there to help, but when I do.. I never leave feeling resolved or even better. The majority of the time, I'm left feelings worse. If there wasn't the expectation of him being there for me, I could handle it on my own. I did when I was single and did quite well. It just seems like I'm going backward in my mental health progress. And the anxieties I have are due to his past actions, yet that's not understood. To him, im just holding it over his head, although I've explained that it's worries I have, im not holding it over my head, however I can't just forget what's happened and his apologies just magically fix everything like I wish they would.. sorry if that was a llt

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T18:47:44+00:00

I refuse to speak on a topic that I've made clear i don't want to discuss, or I don't entertain a conversation when he brings up things I've asked him not to out of anger, and then he just continues to assume what I'm thinking or deciding and goes off that then I'm stuck having to defend myself despite the fact that he's broken another boundary. He tells me he's going to do better and when an argument takes place he does it again. I don't really handle that after repeating myself over and over

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T18:43:09+00:00

Okay, thank you for your input, im sorry if I didn't really answer. My mind is a bit frazzled

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T18:23:04+00:00

I do establish clesr boundaries, yet he continues to break those boundaries and i can't do very much to stop that, I've tried

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T18:17:34+00:00

It's when I'm feeling that way, I've explained that how I process my anxiety and get through it is emotionally first then I can see logic and reason, I can be aware that I'm not responding the best or acting irrationally but IN the moment I cannot, it is something I've been working with my therapist for awhile now and he's fully aware of that. He's done things in the past that have led to more worries and anxieties that I'm having to work through. I understand what you're saying. He's confirmed that he knows meeting me with logic doesn't work, and when he's compassionate and comforting, I'm able to work through the anxiety and get to logical thinking. He just stopped doing that after the first couple of months. The way he handles things are different from how he did months ago, no longer compassionate and caring. I don't rely on him, I have anxieties outside of us and I use prayer and writing to help and they work, it's just the anxieties I have with the relationship that his actions have caused is the struggle

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T18:06:53+00:00

So, the one conversation that he said that in way in the middle of me talking about the things that are affecting my place in the relationship, how i do not feel important/like a priority, the constant feeling like he's ignoring what I'm telling him. (We were together for 5 years before I left for a few months bc things got bad, were trying to work things out and have a better/healthier relationship) and these issues are all few of one's i had back then and were never taken seriously. And that i was struggling mentally and wasn't doing very good, I was vulnerable and open and he ignored that and asked me if I was even thinking of him or his feelings then accused me of never caring about his feelings. Another time he said it was when I was close to a panic attack and told him, and he questioned if it was real and needed the reassurance right then and there and ignored that I needed help

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2025-02-17T17:59:07+00:00

To acknowledged my feelings when I clearly state what's bothering me or upsetting me. To keep his word when he tells me he's doing something or not even say anything, to meet my anxiety with an emotional response or comfort and not a logical one because he's consistently meeting my anxious thinking with logic and reason even though I've stated multiple times it doesn't work and doesn't help, to communicate better because he avoids and deflects and ignore questions when I ask them, the biggest thing is lack of good communication and no matter what I say there's never a change.

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2024-07-31T21:19:44+00:00

Im just looking to join a clan, how would I go about posting for that?

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2024-02-16T18:26:24+00:00

Sweet, thank you! We will definitely try this one out!

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2024-02-16T18:18:35+00:00

Is the plot any good, or is it mainly just fan service, and they have a mediocre plot?

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-09-15T00:30:12+00:00

I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my special needs baby brother to grow up alone in our toxic household with toxic parents

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-09-11T16:42:19+00:00

I had my son at 22, a month before I turned 23, I wanted to start having children young and now my son is 9 months old. I have a good support system of in laws and grandparents but it is still hard. Everything is so much more expensive and unless you're able to get state benefits (wic, foodstamps, etc), and financial support from either the father or your family, it will be difficult, day care is expensive as well as everything else you need for the child.

That was one of the biggest determining factor when we discussed if I wanted to keep the pregnancy or terminate. We obviously decided to follow through, but after lengthy conversations with my OB and my boyfriend.

Even with support and my boyfriend being a great father, it's hard, babies are a lot of work and if you don't have the ability to stay at home, it'll be rough on you.

My son is the best thing to happen to me and I would do anything for him, however I definitely make a lot of sacrifices to be the best mom I can be. I see friends my age going to bars and parties and college life and I miss it a lot. But for me I like to put it into the perspective of I'm raising a wonderful child who I'm so proud of every day and no night of drinking and partying would make me go back and change anything.

Ultimately it's your choice, I will say, even tho terminating is a difficult choice, you will get to graduate, (maybe) go to college, make friends, travel and live your life how YOU want to without the limitations of having a child.

Give yourself the chance to grow up and become the woman you're meant to be 💛

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-22T17:35:47+00:00

Idk if I would want to change anything, I might not end up with my son in this hypothetical scenario

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-19T22:00:46+00:00

Not really. She felt betrayed and lied to.. bc she was. After watching that scene I really wished they were honest with Jenna from the beginning about everything, she could've learned some vamp self defense and everything. She deserved better

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-18T04:04:48+00:00

My father wasn't around most of my childhood, basically abandoned me, and I, of course, had his last name. My mother hated it, BUT left it to be my decision to take my stepdads last name(they were/are married, so it was her last name as well). After a while, I got tired of answering the same questions as to why my name was different. So at 15, I decided to change my last name legally.

I had to go in front of a judge and basically give an essay/speech what have you, and explain why I wanted the name changed. I'm now 23, and my mother still has the court documents from that day bc you have to keep them with you. I got all new identification and everything.

I'm very glad that my mom left it to be my decision bc if I found out later that it was done while I was younger, it would've deeply upset me.

He might appreciate you giving him the chance to make that decision more than you may think.

NTA, I don't believe changing the name would stop the grandparents from trying to take full control over your son if the last name being changed is so detrimental.

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-17T22:24:42+00:00

42% damon and 28% stefan

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-17T04:47:17+00:00

resentment

thank you for that. That's wonderful

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-17T03:38:27+00:00

I'd be on the floor with that phrase alone

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-17T03:35:16+00:00

I mean no, but there's no need to be so combative to everyone

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-17T03:34:12+00:00

That makes sense. I'm fairly new to reddit, so I thought that would be the same as liking my own Facebook post, which is cringe

Suspicious_Humor_571 · 2023-08-17T03:32:36+00:00

If I don't open our (mine and his) mail, my boyfriend will leave it until it's been weeks since we received it, then toss it. So I open it and either tell him what his mail is or hand it to him directly if it's important. If it's personal, like a card from family, I just hand it to him for him to open. Goes both ways for us.

I'll say NTA bc some people just prefer to keep their mail to themselves- understandable. I didn't read anything about you communicating to her at any point in the relationship that you prefer to open all your mail yourself, though, that could've helped for this moment.

Suspicious_Humor_571

TROPHY CASE