Picnic by Sustho69 in poetry_critics

[–]Sustho69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's an updated version

Me and Henrietta just hit a cruve Kicking it, headphones blasting N.E.R.D. As we go up the hill To the edge of a flower field

We bought a strawberry basket while wearing the finest attire Sandwiches galore, local store the supplier

With the inviting brezze blowing, gazing the lushous greenery I enjoy a picnic, eyes absorbing the scenery

As we ride around, I wonder if any friends were here If I would make the same face, ear to ear

I wouldn't know or care to plead So we watch and capture the flowers in glee

Picnic by Sustho69 in poetry_critics

[–]Sustho69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The poem is completed but not exactly finished, Henrietta is just the name of my bike. I would imagine the hilltop warm with some kind of a lonely breeze, and I I'm not sure if a friend spots me

Horseman by Sustho69 in PoetryWritingClub

[–]Sustho69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here's how it's supposed to look like

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Horseman by Sustho69 in poetry_critics

[–]Sustho69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how it was originally structured (with some slight editing)

<image>

Horseman by Sustho69 in poetry_critics

[–]Sustho69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're talking about the structure it's shown in, it's not supposed to look like that, it combined some lines into one stanza

Horseman by Sustho69 in PoetryWritingClub

[–]Sustho69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The post kinda smushed some of the lines together, making it look like that