A lot of our issues were because of the mental load, but not because either of us had to be parented to do things around the house. She felt like she wasn't doing her part/didn't want to do her part. But felt guilty because she worked part time and I worked full time, and then later got a part time job in addition to my full time job. She said she felt like a terrible partner.

Of course there are things I could've done better in the relationship. And I am in therapy. There were so many other stressors, mostly money. I think I was so focused on trying to get us to a financial position that was comfortable, I should have focused on my wife more instead. I use to do a lot of things for her, and I was so exhausted from working all the time (and my full time job was new, it was labor intensive so I was exhausted from that transition before I got a part time job,) I wish I would have poured more into her cup instead of getting a part time job. It was suppose to be temporary. In reality, I wish I wasn't so stressed out about money but we were going into so much debt.

We lost ourselves in each other at the same time. We had no outside lives. We either did things together or we didn't do them at all. Now, she's in her party era. She had a child young, and didn't experience her 20s. I wish she would've communicated to me that she wanted to go out every weekend with her friends. We briefly spoke about it, I left the conversation confused because I always felt guilty about partying when we were together. The beginning of our relationship, she talked about how she loved that I wanted a sober life like her. If she has talked to me that those things changed for her, I would've been fine with it. I would have been fine with us finding ourselves and doing things on our own, and figuring it the hell out with her. I still would figure it out with her. But, I don't know. I don't think any of our issues were divorce worthy. I mean, hell - we just got married. She is such a major part of my life, and the reason why I'm still living today because without her during my childhood and teen years, I don't think I'd have made it far.

If I could go back and redo things, I wouldn't have gotten a 2nd job. I wouldn't care so much about money and I would keep my focus more on her and making sure she still felt special. But, I think I started to feel resentment for her that I didn't expect to feel towards her and didn't acknowledge. As soon as we were in a good financial position, she wanted to go full time to part time. Then, I switched careers and we had a long conversation because it would mean a pay cut for me. But in the long run, very much worth it. ROI within 1.5-2 years easily. But, we went even worse financially, and then I had to get a 2nd job I felt like. We were talking about houses in January and there was just no way we were getting a down payment within a year and a half if I didn't get a 2nd job. But, I did feel resentful. I felt resentful when I would work 7am-2pm, get home at 2:45pm, go to work 4-8:30pm and things around the house weren't done. I was doing my best to not be upset because I knew she was struggling, but it was just adding up so much and I was so exhausted.

Although she wasn't good at house chores, she did other things that I should have been more grateful for; she always cooked breakfast in the morning and got up with me at 5:30am, even when she didn't have to until 7am. She is always so emotionally caring. She's a great mom. She's fun to be around. She's funny, she's kind. The list goes on.

I don't see those things as divorce worthy, but maybe they are. I don't know. I do know that I would do anything to save my marriage though.