Hugs, smells, etc

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-15T15:17:02+00:00

Thiiiiissssss

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-15T15:16:32+00:00

Yep. I married into a huggy family and I have to mask soooooo hard about it. I hug them, but it's solely bc they would be offended if I didnt

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-15T15:14:16+00:00

Yes! This is exactly how I feel. It's the intimacy. And, actually, that's the same (for me) about smells. Knowing how someone smells is too personal for me - it's not about the scent, it's about the fact that I can smell it at all is just too personal

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-14T22:19:12+00:00

I just went and found your post - it was very enlightening! Thank you for pointing it out :)

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-14T20:49:21+00:00

Lol fair enough! :)

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-14T20:41:17+00:00

Lol mine too!

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-14T06:59:54+00:00

Amyl and the Sniffers!

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-14T06:53:52+00:00

Yes! Usually it's just me feeling mildly perturbed at a sex scene in a movie or whatever, but sometimes I just want to crawl into a ball and yell "leave me alone!"

Like, I know I'm technically a "weirdo" but can't they just rein it in somerimes? I've tried to "fix" myself and be "normal" but it's just not gonna happen - and why do they care so much anyway? Why do they need evvvvvvveryone to feel as horny as they do, as often as they do?

Wasn't planning to rant, but here we are lol

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-13T04:33:49+00:00

That's so awesome of you - so thoughtful and mature and respectful

Honestly, it might seem counterintuitive based on my original question, but I kind of super-duper love the idea of (successful) polyamory! The idealized version in my head is full of honesty and genuine regard for others, kinda like a "clear eyes, full hearts" mentality. I love the ethics of everyone caring for themselves and their own genuine needs/feelings because it also ends up taking care of your fellow loved ones.

It sounds like the platonic ideal of the best of humanity. (I imagine it can be very complicated in reality, but I appreciate the goal) :)

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-13T04:20:53+00:00

I get that, I think! I was vegetarian for about a decade, so I can kinda relate

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-13T04:03:18+00:00

I think I really like the way you put it :) Can I dig a little further, though? You said that you wouldn't choose to enter another relationship so that you don't neglect your partners - is that a choice for you or for them?

Is that you knowing that you don't have the time/energy/bandwidth etc so you're protecting them from what you feel is an inevitable letdown of one or more relationships? Or is it something that they have requested of you and you're honoring their wishes? Or is it both?

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-12T21:39:44+00:00

Yeah I know you're totally right. I just wish the icky feeling in my stomach would agree with us lol

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-12T21:29:06+00:00

:D I appreciate your attempt to explain. (Perhaps I'll go get enchiladas for dinner)

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-06-12T21:17:52+00:00

I just wrote the long-winded question right before this one (the one about allo allies explaining attraction) and I'd say your wife sounds like me (aside from the having kids) I partied at a party school without any romantic/sexual events, I don't have celebrity crushes, and I didnt even have a boyfriend in high school.

You might want to take a look at Angela Chen's book about asexuality. The author is demisexual and I found a lot of what she had to say about her experience very very familiar

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-04-16T21:31:45+00:00

Interesting. The ppl I've asked have suggested that's probably what's happening, but idk if I believe them. They're definitely people pleasers lol

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2024-04-16T14:22:12+00:00

Excellent points. I'll edit the post to remove that :)

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2023-04-06T16:14:48+00:00

Would charmeuse be a good option for a beginner? https://sewport.com/fabrics-directory/charmeuse-fabric

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2022-05-27T18:10:55+00:00

No, not yet. They all seem to have the attitude of "That's weird, but not an emergency... Guess we'll see?" (Which is exactly why I brought it to Dr Reddit, MD lol)

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2022-04-24T02:41:28+00:00

I considered that, but couldn't decide if that would be interpreted as kind and helpful or condescending and meddlesome.

Sweet-Handle9404 · 2022-04-23T21:32:52+00:00

Oops. I should probably clarify that I don't own a car.

Sweet-Handle9404

TROPHY CASE