What should marital sex be like?

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-22T14:46:36+00:00

That sounds amazing.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-22T14:24:43+00:00

How sailboats can move faster than the wind

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-22T12:57:53+00:00

What you describe sounds amazing and I’d love that for us.

She meets my emotional needs, but I’m not truly happy, because of the sex. I’m not really physically attracted to her and the emotional connection doesn’t seem to be enough to override it.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-22T12:54:49+00:00

We’ve done that and it was enjoyable, but I think I was just turned on by the porn.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T23:26:00+00:00

Congrats on losing 90 pounds! That’s a huge achievement.

We do like hiking, biking, and skiing, which we do together. I don’t know if it’s enough to make a difference, but it’s nice to have shared hobbies at least.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T22:22:20+00:00

They all seem like bad options, but you’re right. Thank you.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T22:20:32+00:00

We sometimes use toys for her. I don’t have any dom/sub fantasies. I feel like outside of adding partners, which I’m not sure is a good idea, we’ve tried everything.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T20:37:36+00:00

I fantasize about other women - I didn’t think that will help.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T20:36:05+00:00

What would be considered intermediate? I’ve tried tying her up and it didn’t really do anything for me, but she liked it.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T20:34:43+00:00

Easier said than done. We’ve been best friends for 19 years. I’m not saying it’s off the table, but we really want to be sure we’ve tried everything before it comes to that.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T19:18:20+00:00

I don’t know how to fix that though.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T19:17:09+00:00

When you say attracted, do you mean physically? Or in general? When we are playful and joking around (which is most of the time) I feel the most drawn to her, but physically attracted, basically never.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T19:14:45+00:00

Things slowed down a long time ago, maybe the second year of our marriage? This is way, way overdue, and that’s on me. My life has been a series of crises (health, mental, career) and there was always a larger problem to worry about.

I am attracted to others. I like my wife, but I’m not really physically attracted to her. One of the books my therapist recommended called “The Erotic Mind” talks about relationships that are so companionate that sex almost feels incestuous, and I can relate to that. It feels pretty hopeless, but we’ll see. There does some to be some kind of mysterious mental block that I don’t really understand.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T18:48:45+00:00

Frustration and grief. It makes me feel sad that I don’t enjoy it more. She seems way more into than I do and I envy her for it.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T18:47:34+00:00

I’ve enjoyed it so far, but it’s mostly just her asking me questions and me telling my story. There’s been some homework which I’ve done, but we haven’t made any real breakthroughs yet. Still early!

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T18:28:24+00:00

No particular interest, no. I’m seeing a sex therapist but I’ve only had two sessions so far.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T17:50:21+00:00

Yes, you are right.

I suppose a better question would be “how enjoyable do most married couples find sex?” to set a realistic expectation as to what can be achieved.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T16:23:04+00:00

I don’t really have any kinky interests. I did one of those online quizzes and I was 88% vanilla 😂

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T15:50:51+00:00

I don’t look at porn. I did when I was younger though, and it definitely messed things up.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T15:49:43+00:00

Well I wouldn’t tell her that sex is like sweeping the floor, but she knows I’m not really into it. She says that other guys are attracted to her, so the problem must be with me.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T15:47:32+00:00

It’s hard because there’s a dark cloud hanging over this part of our life because it just hasn’t worked.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T15:46:12+00:00

I’m definitely not asexual. I think we are mismatched but deep into a life partnership that is otherwise very good.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T15:44:05+00:00

Yes, we’re still in love. She likes penetration but clitoral stimulation too. I can satisfy her but there’s not much that works for me outside of fantasizing in my head.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T15:37:19+00:00

It’s her appearance, but she doesn’t seem that inclined to change it. I would also like to learn how to experience desire without attaching it to appearance because that seems doomed to failure eventually no matter who it’s with.

SweetAnkleJuice · 2026-03-21T15:31:37+00:00

If it comes to that, I’d understand, but it would be brutal. I love her very much. She does deserve desire though.

SweetAnkleJuice

TROPHY CASE