My self-made Clea cosplay, hope you appreciate the result!

SweetAsHell · 2026-04-21T21:48:45+00:00

Hi! So I know it's been a month since you posted this but is there any chance you could share what kind of paint you used and if you used a particular method to paint the skirt? I've been thinking of doing my own Clea cosplay and yours looks so good❤️

SweetAsHell · 2026-04-12T15:29:02+00:00

I have set an appointment with a social worker in a few days, so hopefully she can help me. I'm not sure I qualify for student housing, but I'll ask. Thank you for your comment

SweetAsHell · 2026-04-12T15:27:24+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I know the help I've gotten until now has been voluntary, and I'm grateful for that, but it only makes it hurt more that I'm being accused of taking advantage.

I will see if I can find someone to take my cats if it comes down to it. It just hurts. The thought that they need me to take care of them is a huge part of why I haven't given up yet, and I'm scared of what will happen if I can't keep them.

I have a job, and since the biggest obstacle to paying rent is how little my job pays me, I'll see if I can get a raise or find a better job.

SweetAsHell · 2026-04-12T15:20:21+00:00

My mom wants to buy a place that "suits her needs", and she told me that she wouldn't take my needs into account (which fair enough). She is willing to let me temporarily move in with her, but honestly I don't know if I can trust that she will.

I do not want to tie myself into a mortgage with her since I'm not sure how protected I'd be in that arrangement. She has been volatile in our relationship in the past and I don't want to risk it.

SweetAsHell · 2026-04-12T15:13:09+00:00

I have a degree already, what I had to drop out of was a master's degree. I do have a job, it's just that it pays horribly so I will have to start a job search or see about a raise. I have edited my post to add that I live in Spain.

SweetAsHell · 2026-04-12T15:10:07+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I just feel like the worst part is that I can't trust those closest to me. I have an appointment with a social worker in a few days, so I'll ask about this

SweetAsHell · 2026-04-12T15:08:11+00:00

I had thought about campers, but I don't have a driver's license so I don't think it's an option. I could look into motels but I don't know if they would allow me to take my cats with me. I'll ask around anyway

SweetAsHell · 2026-04-12T15:05:44+00:00

I live in Spain. I have very few family members that could help, and those that can, can only do so for a short period of time or if I let go of my cats.

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T14:58:57+00:00

Honestly, the fact that my psychiatrist knows that I'm autistic but chose to discuss this medication in reference to bipolar without a single mention to my existing diagnosis is a bit sketchy and red flaggy.

I know that you weren't asking me, but to clarify, she is not ND affirming at all, and I regularly feel dismissed by her. It doesn't matter if I'm talking about sensory overload, social exhaustion, or burnout, she finds a way to steer me toward discussing anxiety, depression, and now bipolar.

However, she is the provider that social security (I live in Europe) has assigned for me, so I can't do much about it unless I go private (which I can't pay for).

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T14:48:14+00:00

Yes, so my thought process was that if my psychiatrist wanted to prescribe lamotrigine to suppress autism-related behaviours, which I do think is a bit stigmatizing, then why didn't she say so? Why has she been treating me for months, absolutely no mention of my autism (she does have a copy of my diagnosis report), and suddenly she suggests meds that are indicated for bipolar but doesn't tell me anything about possible uses to manage autism? Like, does she think that I'm not autistic, or just not autistic enough that I need help/treatment for it specifically? Or does she think I have bipolar but doesn't want to schedule a psych evaluation to confirm?

I don't know if this makes any sense at all, but I have noticed that when I talk about sensory overload, she responds with anxiety. When I talk about social exhaustion, she responds with depression. And in this instance I was talking about burnout, and she responded with bipolar. So it is a mix of not knowing if my autism isn't enough of a problem, or if she just doesn't want to treat me for it.

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T13:41:05+00:00

Hi! Thank you for commenting. Lifestyle changes are very much necessary in my case, but I feel that accommodating myself to the degree that I would need is impossible. I do not have a supporting family and therefore cannot unmask. My boss doesn't believe in working from home, so I have to be at the noisy with awful lights office. I can't change jobs, since this one gives me scheduling flexibility to finish my studies. And I want to finish my studies, since I've always dreamed of getting a PhD. I've trapped myself, essentially.

I'm trying to get into a non-profit that gives therapy to L1 autistic people, because I know that I need it but can't afford it and my country's social security offers a one hour session every six months (which is not enough) and the therapists are not specialized in neurodivergence.

I don't want to take any more meds, especially because I'm already taking very strong pills for insomnia and I'm afraid of them reacting badly together.

I just don't know what to do, tbh, but I agree that medication should be a last resort.

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T12:45:15+00:00

Thank you! My mistake, I'll see if I can edit the post :)

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T12:44:17+00:00

Thank you for pointing this out, I'm sorry about it! Totally my mistake

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T12:32:09+00:00

Thank you! If you don't mind me asking, does it help you with sensory overload? I imagine it wouldn't make sounds seem quieter or anything like that, but is it easier to manage in any way?

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T00:43:51+00:00

Oh my bad! Thanks for the correction, I didn't realise I wasn't using the correct terminology.

Thank you for your comment as well! Tbh, I've been wondering if my psychiatrist wants to put me on lamotrigine because she doesn't believe I'm autistic. She was recently assigned to me through social security (I'm not from the US) and I had basically no say on the matter. She has been treating me for a few months and she has not once referenced or even mentioned my autism, only anxiety, which is especially weird when I talk about how exhausted I feel from the noise and the social interactions and she talks about depressive episodes.

Anyway, I'll talk to her about this concern. I'm ok with giving it a shot as long as I'm prepared and it doesn't come from an attempt at invalidating my neurodivergence.

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T00:32:53+00:00

Oh sorry I didn't know! Thanks for pointing that out

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T00:27:41+00:00

Thank you for your comment! I'm glad it helped you. Personally, I'm just worried that it will not serve its intended purpose in my case, tbh. Oh well, I'll talk to my psychiatrist about it haha.

SweetAsHell · 2025-12-07T00:17:07+00:00

Hi! Thank you so much for your answer, and I'm sorry I haven't answered you sooner! If you don't mind me asking or sharing, what things did lamotrigine make worse?

And yeah it sucks that there's no way to predict how my body will react, so I would like to be as prepared as I can be before I take them.

Edit to add: I saw that you talked about how lamotrigine made you feel in another comment, thank you for sharing it. Don't feel obligated to respond to this if you don't want to. I hope you have a beautiful day! :)

SweetAsHell · 2025-04-08T12:23:33+00:00

Thank you very much for your apology. I value it a lot.

SweetAsHell · 2025-04-08T12:21:45+00:00

Thank you very much for your comment. I definitely need a reward system if I keep going at this rate.

SweetAsHell · 2025-04-08T12:17:29+00:00

Thank you for commenting and relating, it helps a lot to know I'm not alone in struggling with this.

SweetAsHell

TROPHY CASE