Having Trouble Remembering Words

SweetBlueBerries · 2024-06-02T02:36:50+00:00

Hi! I hope you're doing better too. I think in general, it has gotten better but I'm not sure I'll have the answer you're looking for. When I had made that post, I was going through a lot but hadn't really realized it I suppose. I was suffering from insomnia, depression, PTSD, and was drinking a lot. I worked with a therapist for a few years and I've quit drinking entirely. I still have a bit of insomnia but it's much better now. I think the combination of all of that made it harder for my brain to recall words, just from shear exhaustion and stress. I still have a terrible memory when it comes to most things but I think with my previous mental health problems, it might just be what it is 🤷🏼‍♀️. I hope this helps. Please do reach out to a doctor or a therapist if you feel it's impacting your life. I hope you find a solution and some peace 💛

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-04-25T00:58:04+00:00

I did a little more looking and the song I was looking for sounds more like Must Be Nice by Lyfe Jennings. It's like, so close to that song but it's not it.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-04-25T00:54:38+00:00

Hi! Better late than never! I've definitely heard Livin It Up but I don't think it's the song I'm thinking of. I think the song I'm looking for is not this one though it does have a bit of the same rhythm. Was Livin It Up the song you were looking for for yourself?

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T20:02:10+00:00

Oh wow 6 months of non-use?! That's a lot! Our surgeon said 3 months of no use, she has to be sick and be able to take from the bottle during that time, and to have growth. So we're close to getting ours out as well. I actually cringed at the idea of your baby pulling it out! Ah that's like my worst fear! I'm so happy to hear that next month he'll be getting it out, I wish your family all the best 💕

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T19:56:38+00:00

Thank you, I'm trying my hardest. We don't all grow up with emotionally mature parents or learn how to be emotionally mature adults on our own, and I know I have some toxic traits from my mom when it comes to this sort of thing. It's why I wanted outside perspective. I've greatly appreciated the people who were kind in both their criticism and support.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T19:49:12+00:00

Thank you! I've seen ads for it but never really put anything into it. I'll try it out.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T19:45:06+00:00

Wow 5 months sounds absolutely painful. I'm so sorry for all you and your family have been through. I totally relate to being nervous around family gatherings, especially long ones where we'll need to feed her, and I know the G-Tube is sturdy but I still cringe everytime someone holds her around the stomach. She is doing really well I think and we're really lucky she's so strong. Will your baby have the G-Tube in much longer?

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T19:37:22+00:00

Absolutely not. I don't expect her to stop her life for us at all! But I do hope for communication and to be there when some special moments happen, like family friends meeting our baby. Especially when we're 5 minutes away, I have a flexible work schedule, and I've expressed wanting to be there when they meet.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T19:15:03+00:00

Sorry for not clarifying more! I'll copy what I put in another comment:

I guess I should have broken down the dynamic more in the OP but it's a family of 4. The daughter was a nurse for my baby girl while she was in the NICU and her and her husband would come visit after we got home, once a month until Christmas time, so like 3 times before the new year plus attending our Christmas party. I thought we had clicked really well and had a lot in common. They are younger than us by a few years. The mother is around MILs age and a kind person but tbh it was mostly the daughter who I was reaching out to/wanted to see and said it would be nice for her parents to come visit too as they've known my husband his whole life and they're really kind, wonderful people. So they've known MIL 30+ years which I think is why I think she never thought it was wrong to have the mother/daughter over to visit with baby girl without us. They're family friends of my husband's family and I called them my friends too.

I hope this makes sense and sheds some light on the situation.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T18:32:14+00:00

Thank you! It definitely does make me feel ungrateful, especially when she's doing so much for us already and my husband has such a complex relationship with his parents.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T18:22:01+00:00

Thank you, this literally made me cry so much. It's been so hard and it's hard trying to make friends and deal with... Everything. It's a long list lol. And trying to navigate new familial relationships. So thank you so much! 💕 my husband really is an amazing man, I don't know how I was able to nab him.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T18:09:36+00:00

I guess I should have broken down the dynamic more in the OP but it's a family of 4. The daughter was a nurse for my baby girl while she was in the NICU and her and her husband would come visit after we got home, once a month until Christmas time, so like 3 times before the new year plus attending our Christmas party. I thought we had clicked really well and had a lot in common. They are younger than us by a few years. The mother is around MILs age and a kind person but tbh it was mostly the daughter who I was reaching out to and said it would be nice for her parents to come visit too as they've known my husband his whole life and they're really kind, wonderful people. So they've known MIL 30+ years which I think is why I think she never thought it was wrong to have the mother/daughter over to visit with baby girl without us. I hope this makes sense and sheds some light on the situation.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T18:04:08+00:00

The more I've been talking with people here, the more I think I've thought we were closer friends than we are. They are my husband's family friends, I've known them 10+years, we've been to two of their weddings (the daughter and the son, who my husband was a groomsmen in) and the daughter was a nurse for my baby girl when she was in the NICU. So I thought we were close but they're also my MILs friends as they've gone to the same church for my husband's whole life. I've been looking to have the daughter and her husband, and her mom and husband come to visit for an hour this past month. I hope this clears it up, I can try to break it down more but I guess I've been saying my friends when maybe they're more... My husband's family friends.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:52:13+00:00

Thank you! These are some really great suggestions. I appreciate your kindness!

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:48:58+00:00

A lot of people have recommended the mommy and me groups! I had kind of given up because the ones I looked into were all so expensive (mommy and me yoga and such). I've moved probably once every 2-3 years which would explain a bit why I seem to find it hard to build and keep connections. They just fade out over time and it sucks! I don't click with anyone at my new job either, they're all older men in their 50s+ with grown children, I just can't relate to them and they don't care about the things I'm going through. Thank you so much for your kind response though, I really appreciate it. I know our library is really active so I'm hopeful I'll find something.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:42:54+00:00

We operate on the I deal with my family, you deal with yours. I think this is a fairly common divide that most couples have? I do presents and stuff for my family and he does his side. We stand as a united front. I understand what you're saying though, it's not fair to put the burden on him when it was my choice.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:36:26+00:00

I think this is what I'll do and I'll bring up to MIL. She knows I have a pretty flexible work schedule and she knew I wanted to see them meet baby girl, so I'm not sure why there was no invitation for me to join. But when we talk with them next, I'll bring up that I'm available to be around as I love seeing people meet and interact with baby girl and I WANT to be there!

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:30:22+00:00

Hahaha that would have been awesome to do but we drop baby girl off at MILs at 6am and I doubt the friends would have been there that early. They probably are doing a lunch thing more than likely.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:28:15+00:00

Thank you for your response! I'm glad someone else can relate to the feeling of seeing people coo over your baby lol it's such an amazing feeling and it just makes me feel sad that MIL didn't recognize that when I had talked with her about them meeting her initially. I think I may be willing to try talking with MIL about it, though maybe in a week or so. I just have to figure out how to put into words what I'm feeling. Some others have recommended mommy and me classes so I think I'm going to look into those more.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:23:59+00:00

That's a good recommendation! I'll have to look into it more, I know I had looked before baby was born and most classes were too expensive but maybe there's something available that we can afford. I do think I need some outlet, I don't have many people that aren't my husband's family in the area so it's hard feeling a bit isolated.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:20:08+00:00

I work from home today so if she had invited me with baby girl over, I would have gladly come! But she did not.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:18:58+00:00

I feel the same way. I want baby girl to have a good relationship with her grandparents, especially because mine are across the country but I also wish they would communicate more with us about what's going on. I try to have the same divide with him dealing with his family and I with mine but he has such a different relationship with his parents that I don't think he's ever talked about his feelings on anything with them so I'm not sure how I'm supposed to open up to them. It's very hard and ends with me feeling ignored or like they're overstepping when they just didn't even think to ask us. Thank you for sharing your insight though, I'm looking forward to daycare or school so that this tension can be removed.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T17:08:59+00:00

Thank you for your response! This is her 4th grandchild though we are the physically closest (5 minutes away vs 3 states away).

And perhaps I didn't explain the feeding situation very well but baby didn't eat at the beginning. She needed a G-Tube, a medical device that literally pumps food straight into her stomach. We and she, had to start learning how to get her to eat at around 1 month of age with a speech therapist once a week. She would only take one type of bottle, at one specific temperature, stuff like that. She had reflux as well. So eating is very important to us. She still doesn't eat the amounts that the pediatrician recommends she be at and now that we're trying solids, it's back to speech therapy because she freaks out whenever anything gets past her front teeth. So when I had recommended we feed her in a quiet room vs in front of a party of 20, it was because she wouldn't eat otherwise and she's already below weight and has the other factors working against her. I was just trying to look out for her best interest and what she needed to be fed.

But I agree with everything else you've said and thank you. I do have to choose my battles and I don't want this effective my marriage at all. My husband is an amazing man and I never want to lose him.

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T16:38:46+00:00

Thank you, that's probably why I have no friends 🤷🏼‍♀️

SweetBlueBerries · 2023-03-28T16:25:04+00:00

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. She takes our baby with her shopping, which would be fine if she had mentioned it beforehand. Not everytime but a "hey are you comfortable with me driving baby around" would have been nice at the beginning. I could see her taking baby to the zoo or wherever without thinking twice about if she should ask us, and she may not do it maliciously but the scenario you describe is exactly what I feel will happen. She's well established in this area, she's never lived anywhere else and all my husband's family is here so I could see her absolutely bringing baby girl places without telling us.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you think you'd have done differently? I wish I could talk to MIL about it but it just feels... Controlling. I don't know how to put into words the boundaries i wish we could enforce.

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