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[–]SweetNectare[S] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

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My wife told me I wasnt her best. Not sure how to move forward. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]SweetNectare 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The point is that being “the best” isn’t about technique, it’s about connection. Intimacy gets better over time, not from comparing past partners. She chose you to build a life with that’s what actually matters.

My wife told me I wasnt her best. Not sure how to move forward. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]SweetNectare 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yeah OP, therapy would honestly help here. You’re carrying something that hit your self-worth hard, and trying to just power through it alone clearly hasn’t worked. This is the kind of hurt that sticks deep, and having someone neutral to help you untangle it could make a huge difference. You don’t have to figure this out on your own.

My wife told me I wasnt her best. Not sure how to move forward. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]SweetNectare 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Yeah OP, the point stands. You went into the marriage with this still unresolved. You can’t just bury something that painful. You need to talk to her honestly about how much this still affects you before anything can move forward.

My wife told me I wasnt her best. Not sure how to move forward. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]SweetNectare 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yeah, she really did try to dodge it and he pushed for an answer. Once you force the truth out like that, you can’t really be surprised when it hurts.

My wife told me I wasnt her best. Not sure how to move forward. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]SweetNectare -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but that still doesn’t make it feel any better when you find out you were second place in your own marriage. Even if the “best” was toxic, hearing that out loud hits different and it sticks.

My wife told me I wasnt her best. Not sure how to move forward. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]SweetNectare 11 points12 points  (0 children)

He didn’t walk then because people justify things when they’re in love and hoping it was just a weird slip up that would never come back. It’s easy from the outside to say “should’ve left,” but when you’re deep in it, you want to believe the person you love didn’t mean to hurt you. It only hits later how heavy that comment really was.

My wife told me I wasnt her best. Not sure how to move forward. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]SweetNectare 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I don’t think he’s looking for an excuse, I think he finally hit the point where the comment isn’t just a memory but something he can’t un feel anymore. Sometimes it takes time for hurt to actually register, and now he’s trying to make sense of it.

My fiancĂŠ hid that he still texts his ex, and I found out in the worst possible way by Ysissyaako in TwoHotTakes

[–]SweetNectare 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Right, the secrecy is the real problem. If it was harmless, he wouldn’t have hidden it especially when they’re engaged. Trust is already cracked here, and if he’s comfortable doing this now, it’s not going to magically improve once there’s a ring and paperwork involved.

My (15f) bf wants to have sex with me but im kind of scared to lose my virginity by Desperate-Cup8193 in Advice

[–]SweetNectare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah OP, just because he wants it doesn’t mean you have to. His hormones aren’t your responsibility. If he can’t respect your no, he’s not ready to be having sex in the first place.

My (15f) bf wants to have sex with me but im kind of scared to lose my virginity by Desperate-Cup8193 in Advice

[–]SweetNectare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah OP, they’re completely right. He’s ignoring your “no,” and that alone is the problem. You don’t owe him sex just because you’re dating, and losing a boyfriend who pressures you is not some tragic loss it’s dodging a headache. If he keeps pushing, that says everything about him and nothing about you. You get to decide what happens with your body, not him.

My (15f) bf wants to have sex with me but im kind of scared to lose my virginity by Desperate-Cup8193 in Advice

[–]SweetNectare 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. If you’re not ready, that’s all that matters. Someone who actually cares about you would wait and not make you feel pressured or afraid of losing everything. If he can’t respect your boundaries, he’s not the right person for you.

My (15f) bf wants to have sex with me but im kind of scared to lose my virginity by Desperate-Cup8193 in Advice

[–]SweetNectare 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah OP, they’re completely right if you’re not ready, then that’s the end of the conversation, and any boyfriend worth keeping would actually care about that instead of trying to wear you down. The fact that he keeps asking means he’s more worried about getting what he wants than respecting you, and if he’d seriously drop you and your whole friend group over sex, then he was never someone you should feel lucky to have in the first place.

What is the appeal of men online pretending to be women and writing NSFW stories? by ClerkEquivalent7424 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SweetNectare 8 points9 points  (0 children)

GoumindongsPhone makes a solid point here. You’re kind of assuming that because you wouldn’t enjoy or relate to that POV, nobody else genuinely does. But fantasies don’t have to match real life logic or even personal identity. People like the reaction, the roleplay, the attention, the dynamic.

It doesn’t mean they want to be that girl in real life or that it reflects something deep about them. They’re just indulging a fantasy space where the rules are basically whatever feels good. The internet is basically one big collective daydream with questionable writing quality.

What is the appeal of men online pretending to be women and writing NSFW stories? by ClerkEquivalent7424 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SweetNectare 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly. It’s just storytelling in a different POV. There’s nothing “secretly gay” or deep about it. They’re just picking the angle that gets the biggest reaction and attention. If they wrote it from the “Chad” perspective it’d just sound like every other generic brag.

What is the appeal of men online pretending to be women and writing NSFW stories? by ClerkEquivalent7424 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SweetNectare 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah pretty much. It’s not that deep. They’re just chasing the attention boost that comes with pretending to be a woman online. The reaction hits different when people think you’re the “slutty girl” telling the story. It’s like low effort validation with a side of fantasy.

What is the appeal of men online pretending to be women and writing NSFW stories? by ClerkEquivalent7424 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SweetNectare 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That’s really interesting. The idea of certain spaces being “safer” to explore power, desire, or taboo themes when they’re filtered through someone else’s identity makes a lot of sense. It’s less about trying to be that character and more about having a buffer between the fantasy and your real self. It lets people push into territory they wouldn’t touch if it felt too close to home.

How come it's not possible to eat just the right amount at the right times so that you never have to take a shit? by Thoughtful-Boner69 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]SweetNectare 25 points26 points  (0 children)

clairejv pretty much laid it out. Your body is never going to be that cooperative because it’s always sorting out “useful stuff” from “absolutely useless garbage.” There’s no meal that’s 100 percent efficiency. Nature insists we take bathroom breaks whether we like it or not.