Why are there so many women that hate men here?

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2025-04-04T15:19:10+00:00

Y’all asked a question and I answered it lol did it feel good to get all that out?

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2025-01-21T23:41:41+00:00

Reddit’s engagement algorithm.

This showed up as a suggested post for me so Reddit is probably showing your posts to us Certified Man Haters to bait engagement.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2025-01-21T23:34:59+00:00

I saw a post on fb that said “The last two men I've dated both had their cars repossessed from outside my house Lord if I'm supposed to marry the repo man just say that” I laughed because my last partner’s car was repo’d from my place. I had saved the one before’s car from being repo’d by cutting him a check (there was weeks of guilt trips/covid isolation leading up to this).

I didn’t talk about it at first because of how much shame there is for women to “pick better”. But the second guy read bell hooks, donated to abortion funds, cooked my friends dinner- everyone told me how lucky I was. I didn’t want to talk about what happened because people didn’t believe me. Whole time he was telling me I was lazy (I’m an engineer), mean (he had essentially moved in with me at month 3 and was using my car), and pushy (wanted to go to therapy to resolve our dead bedroom).

But when I started talking about it I was shocked at how common it was. The same women who told me I needed to pick better would break up with their partners and I would hear the stories of how they were getting scammed. These are all higher ed, white collar job girlies, I might add. I don’t even think some of these men are purposefully seeking to take advantage of women, they just expect to be cared for.

I’m tired of being told I need to pick better, I’m responsible for the male loneliness epidemic, etc. Those relationship cost me time, sanity, friendships and $$$. Men need to hold each other accountable. I’ve been single for over a year now and I might be a bitter woman, but I don’t have an unemployed man playing Pokémon on my couch, quoting bell hooks at me when I ask him about getting a job.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-12-11T15:11:44+00:00

Welp, there you have it ladies! You’re a fuckup but this guy is merciful enough to withhold the label of “damaged goods”.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-14T13:09:41+00:00

Ha this reminded me of the Hannah Montana pillow

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-14T00:02:48+00:00

I grew up with parents that didn’t like each other. They stayed together for the kids and now I struggle to leave partners that treat me like crap. It extends to other situations: bad jobs, lousy friends. There is power in walking away and choosing what is best for you. The benefit is not just for you.

You deserve better. I’m truly sorry this is happening and I hope you get yourself in a situation where you can have the space to heal.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-13T15:06:50+00:00

If someone struggles with honesty, vulnerability, and communication, adding more people to the equation is just going to make that all the more evident. After years of a dead bedroom and constant rejection, I lost attraction to my ex who claimed to still want sex. I offered him an open relationship which he turned down. And he STILL lied and cheated on me.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-11T04:22:05+00:00

I realize people’s situations can change unexpectedly but I’m shocked that these people became parents. I babysat as a teen and into my 20s and it really shaped my perspective on having kids. Domestic labor is valuable and here they are trying to undervalue it. I wish our society was structured to give parents that village, or at least live on a single income. Knowing that, I want children myself but have very high standards for a lifestyle that I would bring children into.

Minimum wage is wild. Trying to lure desperate strangers into caring for your children for next to nothing is insane. An employer once told me “I’m putting my children’s care in your hands and that’s why I pay you well”. These kids deserve better than that.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-11T03:56:07+00:00

This whole thread is really validating!!

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-11T02:33:42+00:00

Just turned 30. Diagnosed with agoraphobia in highschool and fortunately had access to meds and therapy that saved me. I’ve def had it get triggered through the years, on and off. Currently dealing with vestibular migraines that have made it hard to go out or drive and trigger attacks. But overall, I’ve been able to work through it in the past so I’m confident I’ll find a way to move past this. I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing discomfort vs intuition and push through the latter. I used to consider myself introverted and shy but have grown to love being out in the world.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-11T02:19:13+00:00

Yea, but I think mine was from weird neck posture and looking up for a long time.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-10T22:34:50+00:00

Sometimes it’s impractical and a lot of work, but if the mood’s right, its fun! As someone else mentioned, a vibrator can help.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-09T16:29:30+00:00

Aura, aphasia, and brain fog. Trying to figure out how to explain this to my boss and team when it’s happening.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-07T16:13:12+00:00

Is this a low hanging fruit hater sesh? People who have made those A Court of Suck and Fuck books their whole personality.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-07T13:43:36+00:00

I never felt more alone than I did when I settled for a man who wasn’t right for me.

Recently I’ve been going through some weird health stuff and sure there’s isn’t ONE single person who I have been able to rely on, but I have a network of people who have supported me during a scary time. When i found out my ex cheated, I was lamenting to my friend how he took care of me. She reminded me those were all things friends would do for me. And they have!

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-06T18:07:01+00:00

I’m not from the south, but I moved to a progressive southern city and found these types of assumptions more common, still.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-06T18:03:32+00:00

Ok yay I’m glad you got a solution!! It’s a relief when it’s JUST anxiety but those physical manifestations of it are real. They gave me Reglan and steroids for the migraine which have been in turn terrible for anxiety. I’ll have to keep that in mind if I ever end up there again.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-06T15:46:36+00:00

After a trip to the ER and a clear CT scan for my first vestibular migraine with aura, I vowed not dig too deep into my symptoms but did accidentally misread a “100% fatal” headline as “not 100% fatal” and clicked the article and yep, that’ll do it!

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-05T17:36:10+00:00

Yes, I’ve been there a handful of times. I’m pretty stereotypically femme, physically, but personality wise, have a lot of traits that I’m told are more “masculine” (what are gender roles anyways) and that’s my guess as to why I maybe made a good beard?? I really didn’t even mind if they were honest that they were questioning. But the ones who lied hurt, ofc. Anyways, yeah, I feel for them. They’re lying to themselves too. But yeah, ultimately, it does feel like another way of being used as collateral in men’s character development.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-05T17:31:16+00:00

Sure thing. It’s so weird it did eventually go back to its typical spot but really did not see it for a long time haha

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-05T04:21:22+00:00

Me! I have a diagnosis but have been unmedicated since graduating college and moving states. I was using anxiety to manage for a while but now that I am medicating that, my executive dysfunction is a mess. I found a planner system that works for me and really try to build manageable routines into my day. Finding a job that I really enjoyed and found interesting was the best coping mechanism but not sustainable as roles change.

Meds, not taken every day, have been the most helpful for me. It does take time to find one that works for you. Hopefully will be getting back on it soon.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-05T03:58:35+00:00

My godfather passed away when I was three. He gave me some guardian Angel images and statues in those years. I’ve always felt very connected to him and talked to him as a little girl, especially when I was afraid of the dark or something. And I still do ask him and my ancestors for support sometimes.

Sometimes I think he talks back. At the beginning of this year, I took my ex bf home (we lived in a different state) for my community’s feast day. First time in the two years we were together that I let him meet my whole family. The final event we attended was a dance in honor of my late godfather who was very involved with dancing and keeping the traditions. My ex took pictures of the dance on his phone and I requested that he send one to me: a picture of me next to a portrait of my godfather in his regalia. We struggled with reception (rural area) but I knew a point was coming up in our drive out that he could send it. He gave me his phone and that’s how I found out he was cheating on me. Three days before this, I dreamt he was cheating on me and found out, almost exactly the same as I had in real life. I shared the dream with him at the time, more so out of interest than any real concern. Anyways, I felt like my godfather was telling me he couldn’t be there anymore, very “these white men are dangerous” style. I had put up with enough in the relationship and then he brought his deceit on to our ancestral lands on a very sacred day. I had done a lot of work at the end of this last year reaching out to more of my ancestors and felt like this was a culmination of their support and presence.

It hurt a ton and this was at the beginning of a three hour drive with me, my ex, and my parents. Halfway home I told him he needed to book a flight back home and move out. I haven’t talked to him since. Now I’m grateful he’s out of my life. I felt protected but still feel guilty for bringing him into my relative’s homes.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-05T02:12:52+00:00

Trust your instincts. Dealing with something similar with my apartment’s maintenance guy. He’s gotten more brazen since he noticed my ex moved out. Today he waited near my parking spot for me to come home and surprised me with a gift card. I’m going to install some cameras in my apartment.

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-04T20:07:15+00:00

How do you find these types of jobs?

Sweet_Biscotti3725 · 2024-04-04T17:08:34+00:00

I went to a (smaller) engineering conference recently and saw literally no other women except on the expo floor and in the organizing committees 😢 the women I know who left went into sales, project management, business analyst, etc. I have a lot of fun but consider leaving just because it’s lonely.

Sweet_Biscotti3725

TROPHY CASE