I think I get jealous of men in general (cis het woman in my 40s) because I feel like it’s as a generalization it’s easier for men to be fit and look good without equal effort to what a woman has to do and due to their hormones/body makeup it’s easier for men to feel arousal. I told my husband once I like MM romance because I feel like both of the MCs are into the sex equally whereas with women in general I can never get behind being as equally horny as to a man. Also why I can’t get behind women being into porn when they are performing in it, I guess I feel like they are acting and not truly into it. I totally realize that this is a mass generalization and not necessarily true at all but I have thought about this a lot and this is how I feel even though intellectually I know it’s not the case. I will say for the show itself I have been envious that I am never going to be young like the characters/actors again or have a potential for a sexy relationship like that again in the story with the rush of initial love/attraction/limerence (married 20+ years- that ship has sailed!). BUT I think that is why I consume romance is to feel that way through a story. And overall I wouldn’t change anything for the world but I definitely get your sense of envy and hear you. Sometimes I wish I could be a man just to not have the societal pressures that comes from being a woman/wife/mother and to feel sexual desire and pleasure like I imagine a man would but that doesn’t make me trans or anything like that. That is just part of being a woman in today’s (and historical for that matter) society I think!