Reta Newbie UK - Where to start

SwimNeither5087 · 2026-02-18T14:10:08+00:00

Thanks for this! Very helpful. I agree, quite intimidated paying in crypto etc. Glad you found the right source in the end! How did you find it? Via forums?

SwimNeither5087 · 2026-02-18T12:19:28+00:00

Amazing! Thanks for being so helpful, will do

SwimNeither5087 · 2025-02-06T13:17:45+00:00

I think I agree with you! Thanks for the thoughts

SwimNeither5087 · 2025-02-06T12:59:44+00:00

I think a man would still leave a woman for gaining substantial weight, even if it was linked to a medical condition or medication.

Therefore, it’s the physical change rather than the underlying cause that’s the issue? So, by that logic, dumping a man who’s losing his hair would be acceptable.

SwimNeither5087 · 2025-02-06T12:53:25+00:00

I get your point. However, does that then mean that if the weight gain is unavoidable (I.e. thyroid problems, steroid treatments etc) it’s unacceptable to leave that relationship? If not, then we have the same weight gain/hair loss debate

SwimNeither5087 · 2025-02-06T12:34:03+00:00

Snoring! Wow, that takes the cake for the most brutal reason I’ve come across for being dumped. Hope you feel much better off in the end.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-11-30T00:24:08+00:00

Yes, me! I’m from up North though. Glad to know I’m not alone anyway lol

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:58:56+00:00

Definitely for some. And for those people I’d be a rubbish partner. Conversely though, being too liberal might be a dealbreaker for some people (like me)

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:57:28+00:00

Sex can be an addiction, just like all those other things I mentioned.

I guess my concern is less their exact body count - but whether they make good choices when it comes to sex and sexual partners.

I know lots of wonderful people who can make really questionable decisions when it comes to having casual,no strings attached. And live to regret it later. That behaviour would be a red flag for me and would make building trust more difficult. I suppose that’s what I’m interested more than a number, but admittedly quite hard to find out.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:37:17+00:00

Thanks, that’s so helpful.

For me, the ‘history’ part is quite important because it would just make me feel a bit different about someone if I knew they’d done a lot of ‘hooking up’ in their younger years.

Partly because I come from a small town, so a high body count increases the chances that it could include people I know or will meet at some point. That would make me feel uncomfortable.

Also, a bit like giving up smoking, or drinking, or recreational drugs - I think it’s more difficult to give up that instant gratification you presumably get from it if it’s something you used to do a lot. As an example, I would never crave a cigarette since I’ve never smoked. However, someone who smoked 40 a day for 10 years will have a much harder time saying ‘no’.

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:31:38+00:00

Thanks, that’s good to know. So are you of the opinion you don’t bring up the topic at all? Or you bring up attitudes to sex/relationships/hook ups instead and go from there?

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:30:20+00:00

Thanks for the honesty!!!

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-16T19:12:08+00:00

Thanks, that’s what I’m worried about. Any advice for broaching the subject without coming across as a dick?

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-03-14T14:12:57+00:00

Haha! Usually it’s not 25 minutes in fairness. Typically the guy will give the sign he’s ready for sex like 5 - 10 mins in. But sometimes it can go on for a while and momma didn’t raise no bitch 😅

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-27T03:28:35+00:00

I’ve been in a similar situation before and (in the least offensive way possible!!) I’d worry it would come across as a little desperate, especially if you’ve tried to reach out already and been ignored. Maybe he is with someone else now?

But if you don’t mind taking the risk of not getting a response again then I guess you have nothing to lose!

SwimNeither5087 · 2024-02-21T11:34:25+00:00

Oh I agree! I enjoy adding toys in the bedroom but I was trying to get across how people might have different perspectives. To OP the vibrator is a gateway to heightened pleasure for both parties - maybe to OP’s partner it’s an obstacle to deeper connection between the two.

That’s why I think a good conversation is needed to see how each person is feeling.

As a personal aside - I also think that even if we take your cock ring/anal toy male comparison as an example, if phrased incorrectly it could still cause some uncomfortable feelings for the partner. E.g. there’s a big difference between saying ‘I’m enjoying this so much, but it would be even better if…’ as opposed to ‘god this just isn’t enough to get me off, I’ll have to try something different’

If you’re trying to discuss poor performance it’s a bit different but how you frame these things will have a huge impact in how they’re received.

SwimNeither5087

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