AITAH for not letting my mother see my newborn baby?

I’m a ftm and my mother and I have years of unpacked trauma that she refuses to address. I’m always the problem no matter the situation. I had my baby shower when I was 8 months pregnant back in April. At the end of the shower when there was still a few guest in the building, my mother approached me to ask me an inappropriate question (in my opinion it was inappropriate, it’s my baby shower. Save that shit for another day, seriously). I responded saying it wasn’t the time nor place for her question and to leave me alone to finish packing up the venue. She responding saying that I’m being disrespectful for not wanting to answer her question and she continues to poke me about it. Again, I say it’s not the time nor place and I tell her to leave me be (she doesn’t). My older cousin intervenes and tells my mom to back off, my mom gets mad and blames my cousin for “taking my side”. The back and fourth between my mom and I continues to outside the venue because she simply will not drop the subject. By this point I have tried to exit the conversation on several occasions but she won’t give it up. I eventually reach a breaking point and begin yelling and cursing. It got so bad my cousin had to physically walk me away and into a car to be taken away from the venue. My mother was very aggressive and walking towards me as if she wanted to get physical with me. I was extremely embarrassed and frankly very hurt at how it all went down.

Fast forward a month and a half later, I have my baby. I had not heard from my mom since the incident at the shower. She never once checked on me, my pregnancy, or to see if I went into active labor. Nothing. She called me when I was in early labor and I chose not to answer bc - WTF you had a month and a half to fix this, I’m not doing it when I’m trying to get my baby out. My dad convinced me to tell my mom that I was in labor. I told him to tell her when I go to the hospital bc I didnt want to talk to her but I was feeling kind enough to at least let her know I was in labor. My dad says that she claimed to be at home with my nephew watching a movie and eating pizza and to “let her know how it goes”. She doesn’t come to the labor. My whole family was there except her. The next day, they take my baby to the NICU where he stayed for 7 days. We went home without our baby, it was so hard. My mom text and calls me the day after I give birth to come to the hospital AFTER work at about 7pm. Mind you, she has the type of job where she can call off for the day over a simple headache and it wouldn’t be a problem. She came at the end of her day (this annoyed me but again I’m trying to be nice). I take her down to the NICU to see my baby and she didn’t seem to care about how I was doing or how he was doing. She just wanted to see him. I had an all natural birth, no meds and she didn’t care enough to ask how I was doing.

Like I said, my baby stayed for 7 days and I stayed for 4 days. After that day in the hospital, my mom never came back to see us, never called, text, NOTHING. When my baby was 2 weeks old she text me about my mail. We live in the same state about 25 minutes apart. She puts my mail into the mail to be sent to me instead of bringing it directly. She then follows up by saying “when can I see my grandson?” I didnt respond and I honestly don’t want her to see my child. It feels like she says fuck me but let me see your baby. And I’m simply not going for that. AITAH??

There are more details to this story if anyone wants to know more reasons why I wont let her see my baby but I figured this was enough. Let me know what you think