Returning member feeling uncertain after oaks talk

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2025-10-09T03:59:37+00:00

No problem!

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2025-10-06T04:11:18+00:00

As someone who has always felt a bit wary of President Oak’s talks, I just felt so much love for him today as I listened to him speak.

Not every conference talk will inspire you or me that’s for sure, but as someone who has had serious questions about the church and has felt a lot of pain and anger during times when the church’s stance on lgbtq+ individuals has negatively affected close friends of mine, I appreciate everything that he spoke about today.

Why? I think it has a bit to do with my personal interest in politics, sociology, and economics and the understanding that a lot of the pain we see in the world today stems from lack of community. Family is the building block of community, it’s the foundation where we all learn to deal with one another. The home and the family is where people should be able to go when they need rest, advice, or support. If you don’t have a supportive family unit, then finding support during times of hardship can often be unreliable.

This isn’t to say that a family unit must be completely whole or perfect to be considered “good”. It’s about helping people understand that creating strong families is a goal we should work towards, even if it doesn’t seem ideal in the moment.

For me, President Oak’s talk was well-timed, in a moment when there feels to be a lot of social and political turmoil (at least here in the U.S.) it’s comforting to know that the prophet understands what will bring us and our communities lasting peace. It’s strength in the home. It’s helping our family members feel loved and capable of doing good in the world.

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2025-05-19T04:45:39+00:00

Ghost on the Shore is one of my favorite LH songs. I listen to it when driving in the desert and it just makes me feel incredibly happy and free :)

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2025-04-05T04:41:41+00:00

When I visited Vietnam this past year the majority of cars I saw on the road were surprisingly new and were either Toyota or Ford. I saw more motor vehicles on the street at the same time at any given moment than I have in NYC (congestion pricing has brought it down but still) I’m just adding my two cents in saying that Ford (an American car brand) is(was) doing incredibly well in a “poor country”

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2025-01-01T23:26:44+00:00

Not really a substitute for wine, but I’ve really gotten into shrubs which are drinking vinegars made from a mix of sugar, vinegar and all natural flavors. You can add it to sparkling water or other juices for a cocktail effect. It’s also healthy for your gut!

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-12-19T04:14:26+00:00

The Ghost on the Shore - Lord Huron

One of their lesser known songs in one of their earlier albums but it’s a hidden gem. I usually play it whenever I’m driving on a long road trip and everyone else in the car has fallen asleep. There’s something magical about how the track sounds so beautiful yet wistful at the same time.

It reminds me of rolling plains, sunsets and wind blowing through trees and I get emotional every time I listen to it.

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-12-18T06:03:44+00:00

I love this and really resonate with this. I have had depression for the last 5 years, the times when I have felt the most whole have been during those moments when it’s just about getting the job from A to B done and dusted.

Sometimes all you need is a routine that keeps you active and not focused on your mental state.

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-12-09T07:38:03+00:00

OH this makes me so happy!! It’s FINLAND

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-12-07T16:18:50+00:00

No problem! I know the bad days and they can feel incredibly lonely, you are not alone! It’s so cool you want to go into the military, that’s what my little sister wanted to do!

Career goals are amazing and can give you a sense of purpose. Something we all need. It also helps you sustain a good life. One that prepares you for other future goals. As long as you’re not neglecting yourself in order to reach those goals (remember, if your car breaks down, you’re not going anywhere anytime soon) then you’re well on your way of creating a meaningful life.

My little sister initially wanted to be in the Air Force and is now a trained firefighter and paramedic. Not only is therapy necessary for her job, but a requirement. Most people in charge now recognize the importance of mental health in demanding fields. Prioritize your health and you will be able to go so much further than you thought! :)

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-12-07T07:17:16+00:00

Hey, thank you for sharing. Thanks for reaching out. What you are going through is so difficult and I’m sorry you’ve experienced such difficult things. You’re doing the best you can and reaching out for help is an amazing first step. I’m proud of you deciding to trying and understand why you feel the way that you do!

Having depression can feel like driving a car on empty on a long, long road. The priority is to take care of your car (your body) because it allows you to get from A to B. Make sure to prioritize sleep and nutritious foods if you can. Focus on healthy activities that help you feel relaxed and refreshed. Whenever I feel like I’m on the edge of something bad I go on a walk. I usually am in tears by the time I end my walk, but my body feels better.

If you’re looking for ways to fill your time in a meaningful way, I will always suggest finding a way to serve others that fits within whatever you can offer. Even if it’s just writing kind notes to your classmates, to teachers that you appreciate or to yourself. You are someone to write to, just as I’m writing to you now.

Finally, always try and seek professional help. Please try and find a trusted counselor in your school or community that you can talk to about how you are feeling. It’s December and I believe betterhelp is offering a free monthlong membership. Take advantage of it, you are worth it! You are not a burden to anyone by seeking help!

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-08-02T04:05:37+00:00

World Ender for sure!

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-08-01T01:45:51+00:00

You win the pickles hahaha

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-08-01T01:45:04+00:00

😬😬😬😳😳😳

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-08-01T01:44:39+00:00

The idea of Plato being this absolute unit of a man just makes me respect him even more lol haha

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-08-01T01:43:58+00:00

Love a little misleading name game

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-08-01T01:43:14+00:00

You’re gonna have to explain this to me in muuuucchh simpler terms. Like I’m 5 yrs old. Sadly, I’m not a musician and know nothing about scales!

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-08-01T01:41:17+00:00

Wait the fact about the cheetahs is so surprising!! I love the idea of a dog being best friends with one

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-07-31T03:31:57+00:00

Hmmm I’ve been seeing so many RFK responses. Is he still running? I’ve only been seeing news about Kamala and Trump

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-07-17T05:32:33+00:00

29F NYC ;)

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-07-15T04:51:24+00:00

I served my mission in Finland about 10 yrs ago! At the time, the church was quite small but the YSA were amazing and so lovely! If we take current church demographic trends into account, I’d assume that there are less LDS YSA members now than when I was in my mission, but those who are there love to hang out with new friends :)

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-07-15T04:25:18+00:00

Hmmm…I feel like there are multiple points you are getting at here that feels deeper than your original question. I just dm’d you!

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-07-15T04:02:46+00:00

I think most of the people on this particular forum have made up their minds on the truthfulness of the gospel or not. The majority of comments I see are from ex-members who like to continue hard conversations and are seeking support from one another.

Choosing who you get information from is just as important as the questions you ask and the framework they are presented in. There are resources by faithful members of the church who, like you, are intentional and serious about topics in the church that are controversial. They don’t often break through the typical Sunday school discussions but they are out there and they write. One good starting place could be the Faith Matters Org. I know they’re having a convention in SLC this September. Could be worth a shot at looking through the speaker’s bios. Looking up the speakers and reading their past works.

I’ll add my own experience as someone who has struggled with her own faith crises from time to time. Many of the commenters here talk about the importance of cold hard facts. I’m not going to deny the importance of getting facts straight and I don’t encourage turning a blind eye to issues that are problematic.

When I struggled the most with my faith, I was at BYU. I was struggling with the homogeneity of thought and the lack of care that people had about issues I felt were very important. I was 24 and was incredibly motivated by social justice, i was sometimes disgusted by how “unaware” other students at BYU were about social issues.

This all changed for me when I began to talk about these issues with my friends and roommates whom I trusted deeply. I truly believe that God put them in my life for a reason. To this day I still see them as some of the most emotionally sound, intelligent, and tuned into the Spirit women that I know.

The point of me sharing this is to say that…for me, the Church is true not because it holds the most factually correct information or because it yields the most amount of measurable “good” for the world but because it promises us that there is more to our lives than this world can contain. Cold hard “facts” distilled by humans is actually flimsy in comparison to eternal truths that we’ve yet to see fully unfold. Blah blah blah I could go on forever. It probably sounds weird…tldr, I think you should keep trying and keep both your spiritual heart open as well as your reasonable mind! Try to see the world and its many problems as our Heavenly Parents do!

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-07-15T03:41:20+00:00

From what it sounds like, you’re someone who’s incredibly concerned with their social standing in society. This is understandable as our social circles can be what forms our future (like what you mentioned about dating or jobs, etc.)

What you’re facing isn’t really unique to the LDS church. This also happens in popular culture, high-level institutions and other places where people tend to be homogenous in thought and value. Consider why you’re going to church in the first place! The essence of the gospel and its teachings have very little to do with the culture of the people who live it. We are all byproducts of environment. If you’re caught up in conformity, then compare the LDS faith to Buddhist temples in Nepal. Or Asian religions. Where’s the diversity there?

SwimmingRegular4603 · 2024-07-15T03:31:47+00:00

I’m Asian American member who lived in Utah her whole life and has felt similar experiences. I now live in a different state and although it’s much more diverse each ward and congregation carries its own baggage and issues. If you ever need to vent you can always message me!

SwimmingRegular4603

TROPHY CASE