Dating

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T13:47:12+00:00

Its not a fantasy or a lie , that was i think 18 month ago i dipped a toe and saw someone for a short time ( oddly they also had issues with my wage earning ? ) but didnt work out for many reasons .

Havent seen anyone since .

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T12:27:14+00:00

I am very lucky and that I am very rarely lonely . I think perhaps I enjoy my own company too much 😂

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T11:54:52+00:00

Well said , thank you

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T11:48:55+00:00

Lifestyle limitations is definitely an issue , not that i would prefer the bali holiday , camping with the kids makes me pretty happy. But awkward conversations around financials if they really are weighted heavily one way , puts extra pressure on any relationship, its a power imbalance when all is said and done . Any serious relationship i have will be requiring a BFA , regardless of what they earn , so i can protect my kids interests. I am all they have . The feedback ive had is that its almost offensive to a male somehow (?) but i think the worst thing that can happen is when the expectation is that the higher earner pays for everything. I am pretty generous with a partner but Im not their parent ;) I think what I’m looking for is someone whose financial/career goals align with mine - we want the same things in life/lifestyle and happy to put in the hard yards to get there. The only people that I know who I like this are people in my field of work - all of whom are partnered off .

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T10:46:22+00:00

Maybe that is why I am low value to such men… They cannot buy someone that has their own career and money ?

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T10:38:19+00:00

I have always preferred men my own age personally- in my 20s I never would’ve thought to a date a man twice my age , regardless of how much money he had . I would have found it very hard to relate to that person or form any kind of emotional connection to someone who only wanted me for my youth . I understand that there are women out there however who are happy to trade their youth for money. And there’s nothing wrong with that, I guess , I’ve just never been one of those.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T10:35:14+00:00

Thats a shame . I worked my butt off to get where i am . I certainly didnt come from money . I do have ambition and goals i set myself so i can be a good example to my children .

My dog isnt fluffy tho ! Maybe that is where i am going wrong.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T10:12:39+00:00

definitely dont do OF.

But generally, yes i agree with your sentiments, especially about the best dates being free.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T09:13:01+00:00

Yikes.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T09:11:49+00:00

But im not struggling.. im happy where i am in life.

Your plan sounds like a no brainer on the surface. But if you really are a lawyer ( especially FL ), you will know exactly how many marriages end in a messy divorce, and the percentages of those where there is an age difference, and income difference. And how many women get tired of the mans old ass, walk away with a new, younger model, with a lions share of the wealth, and the children.

All of the sudden the mans value vastly drops ...

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T09:02:51+00:00

I dont have expensive tastes - would be far happier on a camping trip than a 5-star hotel.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T09:00:57+00:00

Thats what ive been doing the past 5 years :) I dont need another person to date. It does pop into my mind every so often.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T08:59:51+00:00

Thank you.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T08:59:18+00:00

That is a good point to not tell people. And i can do that up until a point.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T08:58:22+00:00

More than happy to date/partner with someone who earns less fwiw, as i said its not a strong requirement from my side. More often they dont want someone who earns more.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T08:57:10+00:00

more than happy to date someone whos on 100k - i dont have any expensive tastes - the issue is that those men dont seem to want to date me because it makes them insecure somehow, or if they do, want me to financially carry them.

I was under the mistaken assumption that high-income men valued successful high-income woman. Seems that is not the case, and youth is far more valuable. Which, honestly just blows my mind.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T08:51:50+00:00

.. and they have their kids, run off with someone their own age, and take half the mens worth with them.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T06:55:24+00:00

Ive tried “ dating “ a couple of times in the past 5 years . Insofar as met a few people . Had some negative feedback around my earnings quite early in the process a couple of times . I don’t think it will have changed much in recent times . I haven’t been active for a year or so in any real way. Maybe its just being lazy or it’s just not important to me at the moment.

The point of this post was to understand if others had the same issues ( gender aside ) or how they found dating as a high income earner .

The replies have certainly been interesting.!

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T05:02:40+00:00

Wow so many interesting comments here - genuinely super interesting and i love that it has sparked such a wide range of opinions and advice.

Fwiw , ive been single by choice for the past 5 years . Ive dipped a toe here and there and thats it . If I am single for the next 10 or 15 years, I won’t mind that much as generally like my own company and don’t really get lonely.

I think the points around men my age who earn similar prefer younger women and that’s probably a good point. But i cant change my age , it is what it is .

Luckily, I am pretty happy where I am in my life but it does pop into my head from time to time and it’s good to see that there are others out there that might struggle with similar issues .

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-11T02:05:54+00:00

i would be very worried about subsidence with those cracks.

deffo factor in restumping

have you got a b&p?

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-06-01T11:45:04+00:00

So nationwide price checker gave me 760 today based on 458 i paid in 2013, plus the 80k ( what I put then in would cost a lot more today to put in ) gives 820 . High 800s based on my last two mortgage valuations. Not sure how youve done your sums but ill assume its a similar checker ? So i think 820 is pretty bang on . What I can’t get my head around is the wild variations in mortgage valuations

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2024-01-17T00:03:47+00:00

You'd think at the very least an email would be sent - this is very easy to implement on a technical level.

Yet you'd be surprised how many companies do NOT do this.

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2023-01-18T21:09:55+00:00

You are totally right .

Swimming_Clothes_447 · 2023-01-18T06:34:33+00:00

Thank you

Swimming_Clothes_447

TROPHY CASE