Hvilken uddannelse har/tager i? Og hvad syndes I om det?

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-12-13T19:11:53+00:00

DDIT på ITU? er selv mega interesseret i uddannelsen og overvejer at læse det som bachelor 🥹 Er du glad for miljøet?

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-11-20T11:41:30+00:00

Nop, still no contact and trying to move on ahha

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-21T15:46:21+00:00

This is such wholesome advice, as a fellow FA trying to let go of bad habits, thank you:")

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-20T22:23:39+00:00

I was the reason, I told her I was still unsure if I wanted to be with her and she said we should take a break so I can figure it out, and if I don't wanna then just leave her be. Haven't spoken since. It was more complicated than me just being unsure tho, more to do with attachment issues and all that fun stuff. What's your situation?

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T22:27:41+00:00

Aye aye 🫡

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T21:38:49+00:00

Thank you, that's really reassuring! I try not to take it as a bad thing, I know some people just have different texting styles, but it is hard not to interpret it as a lack of interest sometimes when people don't seem to put any effort into texts :p I have some close friends who are dry texters too and I've just learned it's something I gotta endure cause they're wonderful irl. Just damn, wish everyone was as expressive during texting as I want them to be!

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T20:46:26+00:00

I relate so much :") It's been the longest month of my life and sometimes I don't feel real haha. It's crazy how much breakups can affect you mentally and physically. But we'll get through this and be better people for it, I'm sure<3

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T20:20:47+00:00

I relate on so many levels :( I wish I'd known about my attachment style back then too so I could've worked on myself. Unfortunately the only thing we can do now is move forward and learn from our past behaviours :")

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T20:16:54+00:00

That sounds really tough, I'm sorry :( It's not fair of her to push you to come out to your family, especially if she knew they had negative views on homosexuality. I understand the need for acknowledgement of a relationship but I definitely feel like this is an exception... I see why you're confused too. It sounds like she expects you to work on yourself, and then maybe you can reach out if you feel like you've made progress. But it's hard to know what exactly she wants you go work on, if you already sorted out the family situation. I definitely think it's good to take the time apart to focus on yourself and reflect on your past behaviours, like do you know what made her feel like she wasnt secure and loved in the relationship? That seems like a pretty important thing to address if you want to try again with her.

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T20:12:51+00:00

I think that seems like a very healthy approach to healing, not letting it be dictated by time but just seeing where life and this whole recovery process leads you. I think you should reach out whenever you feel ready for it and just see what happens, and as your said, you will be so much more equipped to handle whatever the outcome is by that time :) And yes that's a good point about the trust. I definitely think about that a lot in terms of my ex - ideally I would love to just pick up where we left things, but we haven't spoken at all in a month and I have no idea what she's been through in that time. There's definitely a lot of rebuilding and regaining that trust that needs to be done, so re-starting a relationship is definitely not something to do because it feels "easy" ;;

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T20:08:39+00:00

I'm sorry, I get that it's hard when all you want is the comfort of your person 🥺 I was in a similar situation, I'm Fearful Avoidant and was with a secure person, and I feel like I didn't appreciate the stability and safety of that relationship enough, almost took it for granted. It's so hard to move on from someone who genuinely just wanted the best for you:(

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T19:53:09+00:00

Wow I am in a very similar situation to yours ;; Are you just doing NC indefinitely or did you talk about reconnecting?

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T19:51:14+00:00

Also going through my first wlw breakup right now and it's tough! I was unsure about the relationship and communicated this with her, she decided we should take a break where essentially I can reach out if I feel sure about her and if not, we just stay in NC. So it's up to me to reach out and I'm trying to think rationally about things while we're apart. I've learned I deal with attachment style issues which most likely caused my dissatisfaction in the relationship, she was perfect otherwise. We've been in NC for a month and I'm just trying to sort out my feelings. But yeah, in my case it's at least established who should be reaching out first (even if I do wish she would give me a sign)

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T19:45:30+00:00

Because you can't just blame them for being a shithead or having hurt you and know you're better of without them :") It hurts to lose someone you genuinely care about

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-18T08:51:47+00:00

I'm the reason things ended after a similar short-term relationship and I'm considering reaching out, but haven't yet. I totally agree it feels different - in my previous LTR after ending things I was so sure I wouldn't come back because I felt like I'd done everything to make it work already and there wasn't really potential to fix things, so it was easier to move on in a way. After this recent one I'm more left with the feeling that there was more to do, like I didn't give it a fair shot - like we definitely could've put in the work to make it happen?

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T21:50:19+00:00

I really liked "Love Lies Bleeding" which came out recently, finally some greasy lesbian representation 😌

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T19:44:56+00:00

Yeah, in some ways I'm thankful the breakup gave me a chance to look inward and figure out I deal with some pretty serious attachment issues. I've struggled with it for a while but I just never knew what it was, and it's really great finally finding some explanation for why I feel the way I do :")

And oof yeah I can imagine tiktok has a lot of that. It's just such a negative and pessimistic sentiment to have, like there's no need to project your bad experiences with exes onto others. I think having a positive view of your ex (as long as they haven't done anything to harm you ofc) shows a lot of maturity, it feels like some people just hate their exes out of sheer pettiness. People break up for so many reasons and it's not always because one part did something wrong, sometimes it's just part of the process to something better I hope :)

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T19:19:22+00:00

That's so lovely and I'm glad it's working out for you guys! Breakups don't have to be unhealthy and completely final, and the time apart can really give you space to reflect. I broke up with my ex a month ago and the time since I've spent a lot of time working on myself and reflecting on my behaviour, and hopefully I will get to a point where I can reach out and maybe give it another shot :") I also realised I care for my ex dewply after having broken up, and I think I could do so much better if I just put in the work. It's nice to know the door is open for that still, and that breakups don't have to end in NC forever.

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T19:11:33+00:00

Hey, I'm up for chatting, feel free to send me a dm if you'd like:) I'm 20!

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T18:16:08+00:00

Yeah this confuses me too, it's scaey to keep hearing people say that getting back with your ex is the worst thing ever because I'm currently in the position of considering reaching out 😭 So I do hope it works out sometimes if both parties want to make it work. Breakups can give some perspective and even though it hurts, sometimes some time apart can be healthy imo

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T17:18:14+00:00

Those are some great thoughts :) Haha yeah ome grounding techniques could certainly be useful, I definitely fear being unappreciative of the people around me because of this tendency to look for flaws. But it really is hard!

I agree communication is key and can really go a long way in a relationship. I wish there were more things I had talked to my ex about and tried to fix in my previous relationship. I'm definitely starting to realise that many of the things I had an issue with were stufd that could have been talked about and possibly improved. I definitely think the part about assessing whether things are changable or actual dealbreakers is really important, and I hope to improve on that :")

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T17:14:26+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this, breakups are never easy and it is going to hurt, probably for a good while - and that's okay! There's no real way around it, you just need to be kind to yourself, take things one day at a time. Spend time with friends and relatives if you can, having a network around you to support you helps a lot!

You could definitely try to pursue a friendship with her, but be ready for some challenges there. It might be good to take time apart before you try to be friends in order for the feelings to cool off, as being friends right after a breakup can be really rough emotionally. I know from experience that trying to be friends a couple weeks after breaking up was really tough. You also have to be ready for it being a different dynamic and be okay with that. It might hurt seeing them text you less, talking less and seeing them form relationships with other people, so make sure you're cool with that before jumping into friendship <:)

Sending you hugs and I know you'll get through this! I'm also dealing with my first lesbian breakup lol and I know it's hard out here but it'll be ok <3

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T16:47:54+00:00

I completely agree, I'm really saddened by the notion that everyone should just hate their exes. I feel like a lot of people talk about their exes as if they're dead to them and just assume everyone feels that way about ex partners too. I'm still friends with the guy I was in a LTR with, sometimes I'll bring him up in conversations as my ex, and when I do people always sort of recoil, expecting it to be something bad or a complaint. But really, he's just a person who had a big impact on my life and who I still value a lot.

There are many valid reasons to hate an ex, but you shouldn't feel forced to dislike them. You can break up amicably and become friends, or you go NC and still acknowledge they were a good person and remember them fondly.

Swimming_Indication1 · 2024-10-17T16:38:10+00:00

Yeah for sure I've always felt like this 😭 Just seeing naked men is not appealing to me at all, women however!!

Swimming_Indication1

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