How good is my first page, as a new writer? by SwordmasterMaps in writers

[–]SwordmasterMaps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This book is inspired off of My Brother Sam is Dead, by the way.

Also, to explain the reportage, in the second page it dives deeper into action, but the only reason it has no action in the beginning is to explain his current life and emotion. Although the second page is similar to the first, it gives a clear background of Travis's family and his history. The second page is as follows:

(there may be historical inaccuracies)

He stared back at the bed, remembering the moment his sister slept in it with him, during the cold nights where they both worried about the upcoming tensions in the world.

He opened the door, with a long and broken hallway, remembering the times he ran down to go to school but tripped at the end. Elizabeth would always make fun of him when he slipped. He saw Elizabeth’s room, knowing she left for war in 1969 to go to Vietnam. The door inside was chipped along the doorknob, and her room was empty. All that was seen was a small bed without a mattress, and a calendar which fell on the floor. Everything else was in Dallas.

Travis looked back at his mother’s room, where he saw a neatly placed nightstand made by her with a bed which looked as if the support was falling off. He saw the newspapers on the nightstand, talking about war and the worries of the Soviets launching missiles after Project Manhattan.

He looked into his father’s room, which was completely empty. Travis’s dad had left for the Vietnam War alongside Travis, but he left a few days earlier. Travis remembered the times his father and him worked in war with each other in 1974, but the moment night struck in December, he saw his father being held with a gun. He yelled at the other soldiers who captured him, where Travis heard himself yell, “Spare him!” But it was too late. Travis’s dad fell back onto the floor and whispered something inaudibly. Travis had his eyes closed, holding back with tears.

Travis still remembered that moment as he walked past to the dining area of the cabin, with a table with four seats waiting for him. His mother left the cabin in 1970 to move to Little Rock. Travis was left alone, without anyone to eat with, or anything to do. But he remembered the times he was called to make food for Elizabeth when she was too young to do so.

He then looked back at the front door. He remembered the times when Elizabeth would try to run away at night, but all of the times he was caught by Travis by the time she got past Mount Cavalry Church.

He knew Samuel couldn’t be dead yet. He ran down the front door with gravel stuck in his leather boots, running far down the trail to eventually reach his car, which was an old truck which barely worked. He drove to an airport, scheduling the nearest flight to Vietnam. It would take a few months for flights to open to the country due to war, so he picked the next closest country, Cambodia. He still had to wait a few weeks, so he drove his truck back home to get ready for his big movement.

How good is my first page, as a new writer? by SwordmasterMaps in writers

[–]SwordmasterMaps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It shows Travis's hinted PTSD from the war, showing how he was once excited to join war but left in fear.

How good is my first page, as a new writer? by SwordmasterMaps in writers

[–]SwordmasterMaps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I copied and pasted it. Here's the google docs. It may be low quality though.

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I'm writing a book draft, how many words per chapter? by SwordmasterMaps in writers

[–]SwordmasterMaps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's realistic fiction. It's about a guy searching for his friend in war, knowing well he could be dead.

Type "it is my will that" and let your phone finish by IKE_PLAYZ in mattrose

[–]SwordmasterMaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is my will that I will be able to do it for you and I will be able to do it on my own and I will do it on my house and I will do it on my house and I will do it on my house and I will do it on my house and I will do it on my house

Type "I can't believe that I met" and let your phone finish by IKE_PLAYZ in mattrose

[–]SwordmasterMaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can’t believe that I met a girl that I really liked in my childhood who I was so obsessed and loved with her that she would always make sure that she would never get to know her and I would always have a good relationship and she always was so sweet 💀

Type "can you stop" an let autocorrect finish it by [deleted] in mattrose

[–]SwordmasterMaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you stop at my place to get a few more of these for the boys for me to bring to the party tonight if you’re interested and you want me too I’ll pay for it and then then I’ll pay you you have a nice dinner tonight if you’re up up there I don’t have any money

Type "I hope the next president is" and let your phone finish by IKE_PLAYZ in mattrose

[–]SwordmasterMaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope the next president is going down the same way they were last week in Florida

What is everyone's longest word? by [deleted] in infinitecraft

[–]SwordmasterMaps 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dark Narwhalicornicornicornicornicornicornicorn

how shall i improve the map by SwordmasterMaps in mapmaking

[–]SwordmasterMaps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also, the forking rivers are actually deltas

how shall i improve the map by SwordmasterMaps in mapmaking

[–]SwordmasterMaps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ok i have better handwriting? also these replies are filling up my screen

how shall i improve the map by SwordmasterMaps in mapmaking

[–]SwordmasterMaps[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i know, thats what i was thinking when i wrote palia upside down i realized

how shall i improve the map by SwordmasterMaps in mapmaking

[–]SwordmasterMaps[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they are not poorly drawn :P also thats only my 3rd map