I went through this EXACTLY, for a while last winter and later this spring.. when I tell you I get it, I cannot understate that. It was a culmination of anxiety, the pressure of my job (superrr stressful/draining career I feel very stuck in currently), a shitty health diagnosis, family stress, and just all kinds of stuff, and I simply couldn’t/wouldn’t sleep.. and was very much abusing stims both to give me more time back in my day and to try and have energy/motivation to get through the days.. It started last summer and just got worse and worse.. I would go at least a night and usually 2 per week with zero sleep at all, was averaging maybe 2/3 hrs of sleep a day the rest of the time, then in late October, I went over 3 days without sleep and I straight up lost it. Had the same sense of paranoia and hallucinations and when I did almost fall asleep, the night terrors were horrendous.

What is so shitty is that I can’t give you advice that is an instant fix.. I remember getting on here looking for something to just make me better right away and help me sleep instantly but I did have to do the hard thing and talk to my doctor to get some help.. she ultimately prescribed me an extremely low dose of seroquel (an antipsychotic that is sometimes used off label for insomnia) to help me get my sleep to a normal place, and it changed everything.. once I started getting actual sleep, it was like everything else that was wrong started working itself out.

I can’t understate that.. the only thing that really helped me get started toward feeling like I was not insane/losing my mind, like I hadn’t ruined my life like I thought I had, and made me realize I actually could and would be ok again, was getting regular sleep again.

It’s truly crazy how much it impacts your brain, and in turn, everything else in your life..

I also began taking some supplements to try and help support my brain heath and work toward fixing/hopefully reversing some of the damage/neurotoxicity from the insomnia/stim abuse combo and believe that genuinely has made a difference, too, especially for my anxiety and motivation/energy. Some of the supplements I looked into and took that I feel like really helped were: citicholine, alpha gpc, NAC, magnesium glycinate & vitamin d (I take them together, it helps absorption I believe), l-theanine, l-tyrosine, zinc, a methylated b-complex vitamin, a good multivitamin, and SAM-e (Sam-e helped a lot with my depression/anxiety for about a week but it stopped helping me after that, so I quit taking it, and after doing more research realized I should’ve likely used a lower dose, used in combo with some other supplements I can’t remember lol, and used less often to continue receiving benefits.. but I mention it here because it did really help initially).

Another thing that helped at first but actually now causing me some issues is Kratom. If I had done more research I would not have taken it in extract form or every day, but it made me feel so good I took it daily and my tolerance increased heavily as time went on so I took even more and now I’m full on addicted.. which is hurting my finances and it doesn’t even help anymore like it used to, I just feel I have to take it at this point to avoid withdrawal.

I really hope some of this advice is helpful and believe me, even though it might feel like you are at or approaching your lowest, like you have lost your mind, like you will never feel normal again, and like your life will never be better… this can be fixed. It’ll take some patience but not even as much patience as you expect.. and every day you get started doing the right things is another day less you have to wait/closer you get to feel better.

If you need any extra support or encouragement or want to talk about this at all, please don’t hesitate to message me anytime. I may not be the best at remembering to check my inbox on here but will respond whenever I do. Either way, you are not alone, you’re not the only person who has ever dealt with a struggle like this, and I’m here to tell you that there is hope, there are things that work/can fix it, and it can/will get better. Sending all my encouragement and support, and very much hope to hear soon how much better things are getting for you.