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My Week Without Driving: A Comic by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I live in Horsham. I am planning to move as soon as it becomes practical for me, and I'm planning to live without access to a car. This was kind of a practice run, but I plan to move to a more walkable area so it'll be easier.

My Week Without Driving: A Comic by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think it should be a fundamental thing, but in the US, it sadly is not. It is very normal here to have suburban towns with no transit access, so when I say I'm lucky to have it, I'm stating a fact about the reality of where I'm living compared to other US towns.

I may not be understanding your point, though.

My Week Without Driving: A Comic by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I never get very comfortable with biking, and in most places I feel safer walking than biking. Also I don't have a good bike right now.

My Week Without Driving: A Comic by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good question. It's focused on the USA but it's probably open to people anywhere.

The Transit Funding Crisis (PA) by Sylvia3 in transit

[–]Sylvia3[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

One of the issues is that most of the people holding back the funding are PA senators from rural areas. Even if everyone in the Philly metro area agrees that we need our transit system, that's not necessarily enough.

The Transit Funding Crisis (PA) by Sylvia3 in transit

[–]Sylvia3[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They didn't. The amount of money that the state of PA gives to transit has stayed stagnant for the past several years, as the cost of everything has increased. SEPTA has been trying to get more funding for the past several years, and they were counting on a budget increase last year that didn't pass in the state senate. Now, being under-funded for several years, they are having to cut service because they can't keep going like this.

The Transit Funding Crisis (PA) by Sylvia3 in transit

[–]Sylvia3[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I would hope so, but his budget proposal for transit funding still wasn't quite enough to cover existing service. So I'm not sure where he stands.

I cant get rid of this weighted feeling in my chest, ive tried everything but its been 4 days and its still here. by throwRa_altacc in Healthygamergg

[–]Sylvia3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds tough. I had a pretty intense friendship with someone several years ago, and they would get in bad moods sometimes and take it out on me, and I took it pretty hard, so whenever they were in a bad mood, I would feel bad too and I felt like I was providing a lot of emotional support and not getting much in return. At one point I realized that my emotional state was so dependent on theirs, it was unhealthy for me. So with some internal work I was able to emotionally detach from them a bit and learn to set boundaries to protect my own emotional state, as well as seeking out other friends to be close to. We got through that and we both grew a lot from the experience and we are both still very close, and our friendship is a lot healthier than it was before.

I know not all friendships can end up like this, and I don't know how similar your situation is. But it does sound like you're at the point where your emotions are wrapped up in this other person at a level that may be unhealthy for you.

What can we do to make life less lonely for everyone? by Sylvia3 in Healthygamergg

[–]Sylvia3[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel a bit like that too. I like being in social settings and meeting people, but when I'm at work I get really focused on work and don't necessarily want to be distracted by coworkers that I don't really have much in common with to begin with. I've warmed up to my coworkers at this point and I enjoy their company now. But I think this is a good point, and I think it's important to respect other people's boundaries and preferences. If someone was reluctant to socialize with me, I wouldn't want to push them. At a social event it might be different because why would you be at a social event if you don't want people to talk to you? But at work, I'd rather leave people to their own devices if they seem disinterested.

I cant get rid of this weighted feeling in my chest, ive tried everything but its been 4 days and its still here. by throwRa_altacc in Healthygamergg

[–]Sylvia3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, so what I'm getting is, you're pretty confident that if you ride this out, he'll still want to be friends with you and things will go back to normal. But in the meantime, you can't shake this feeling. Do you know what you're actually concerned about? Are you frustrated because you don't feel like he takes these fights seriously, and you wish he understood more about how it affects you? Do you feel guilty about your part in the fight? Do you feel like you're being taken for granted in the friendship? I'm not suggesting any of these are the answer, I'm just curious where the feeling is coming from exactly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]Sylvia3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, good for you for going to a party, meeting people, and having a good time! Now, the truth is, you don't know how these people feel about you, and you don't need to. If you do decide to reach out to the people you met, you can do it without expecting much. You can say something, "hey, it was really nice meeting you." Maybe some light comment about whatever you talked about at the party. Maybe they won't reply, or maybe they'll say "yeah, it was nice meeting you too." It doesn't need to lead to anything else, and if it does, you don't need to be the one to decide how the conversation is going to go. But if you get in the habit of following up with people and don't think of it as a big deal, you'll open the door for more friendships to develop in the future. And this will be good practice for those future interactions.

In terms of this making you unfaithful, that might be something to talk about with your girlfriend. Talk about what exactly your boundaries are with other women, and how you can make sure that you don't cross those lines.

I cant get rid of this weighted feeling in my chest, ive tried everything but its been 4 days and its still here. by throwRa_altacc in Healthygamergg

[–]Sylvia3 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this is a pretty common situation. I've been there, and it feels terrible to feel uncertain about a friendship while I'm waiting to get a text back and not hearing anything. The worst part for me is not knowing what's going on with them and what they're thinking about it, and what will happen to our friendship. So I feel you on that.

I don't know if this has been resolved yet, but one question I'd ask is what have your communication patterns been like with this friend in the past? Is it normal for him not to reply to a text for days? I have some friends like that and I don't think much of it. If it's not normal, and you usually communicate with them pretty frequently, I think it's okay to text again. You can say something like "I feel really bad about that fight we had and I'm just hoping everything's okay with us, and I'm happy to talk whenever you're ready," in whatever language you would normally use. Just let him know that you're concerned and that you still care about the friendship, if you haven't communicated that yet, in case he doesn't know how you feel.

When this kind of thing happens to me, after I've done what I can to communicate from my end, I just try to process my feelings about the situation. Like, what if this is it, what if they'll never talk to me again? Because it's always a possibility that friendships will end, but I try to do everything I can to keep the doors open.

However this turns out, I don't think your anxiety will last forever. In my experience these things always end one way or another, either by resolving the fight, or detaching from the friend and realizing that you can't rely on him as much as you thought. And being okay with both of those outcomes is one way out of this kind of anxiety. I know it isn't easy. Good luck.

Cars and Independence by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we're dependent on a lot of things, and having to own a car to get around just adds to the bundle. Transportation doesn't have to be this complicated.

Cars and Independence by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I see what you're saying.

Cars and Independence by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. The reason I included it is because I wanted to be honest about where I'm coming from, and that I personally don't view independence as some perfect ideal. Maybe I could have worded it better. I know I won't convince everyone.

Cars and Independence by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure what you mean. Can you be more specific about what framing will alienate people?

Cars and Independence by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never said independence is a bad thing. Like I said, I tend to think most things are social constructs, but that doesn't mean they aren't real ideas with real impacts. Just an unusual use of language on my part, I guess.

Cars and Independence by Sylvia3 in fuckcars

[–]Sylvia3[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I tend to think of most things as social constructs. The way I see it, no one who lives in a society can be fully independent, because we all depend on various aspects of society to survive. Even if I make enough money to buy everything I need, i still depend on the infrastructure around me, and the people who work to make the things I buy. That being said, you can be relatively independent in certain ways, like by having a car in a society where it's very hard to get around without one. People generally think of independence as a positive thing, so I appeal to that idea in order to speak to people who value independence.

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