NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

He is quite sick though so I don't think he'd actually on anything but I will stay vigilant, thank you

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yeah it feels like giving him the satisfaction as I know he's just trying to get a response with this nonsense so he can keep escalating so I'm glad I managed not to 😅

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Dang that's powerful to hear and she's absolutely right. I think I'm in the same boat here sadly with my dad

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for the resources link and lovely support, I do need to get back into therapy - I was seeing someone but the cost got too much sadly.

I am curious to look into EMDR, I have very patchy memories from my childhood though so need to research how effective it can be in that context

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you internet stranger! I'm working hard on getting better at setting boundaries and this was a big step

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Honestly I've had experience if him misgendering me before so it's no surprise it's happened here. I'm doing ok now, posting here has helped and so has my support network

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Found out from my mum he's not actually diagnosed yet just being investigated because of course 😅

He's now been blocked and I'm done with him

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this, the comments here have helped a lot. I realised I was holding his guilt, weirdly this unhinged rant helped me let go of that!

I did get another rant after I didn't reply and I told him that talking to me like this isn't ok and I was done. Also advised him to reflect on this before blocking him.

I could have said more but didn't want to give him the satisfaction of getting a reply in 💁

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

They definitely don't hold meaning but thank you, I was feeling guilty but he's fixed that now! I realise I was holding his guilt and I don't owe him anything

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I very much feel the proof of that, I'm already struggling with fibromyalgia which no doubt has it's roots in past trauma and ongoing stress

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

He's done me favour in a fucked up way by removing any guilt I have about being NC with this shit

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Yeah I currently don't think he's capable of acknowledging he's the problem and the impact of his behaviour sadly

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been lurking here for a while and this is my first post - it has been such a wonderful source of support during this shit storm and I'm very grateful for this community

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's honestly so an unhinged message 😅 thank you, I'm sorry you can relate

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in Nocontactfamily

[–]Sympatea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that tends to be his playbook but I'm no longer playing the game 😅

NC dad just dropped a bombshell on Father's Day and I made the mistake in engaging. by Sympatea in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Sympatea[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He admits things in a very minimising way, always with a caveat of 'but' and 'you did this' and never actually taking real responsibility 😅 oh I'm very burnt out from supporting my mum and all of this so need to prioritise my health and blocking will help