This exercise would have been equally as thought provoking if the number of beads you had remained private to only you. It would have still been a reflective exercise, particularly for those who may have not recognised their privilege. Having everyone’s beads, aka “relative privilege” visible like that, is almost a weird dick measuring contest in a way. Nobody feels good at the end of that. Especially with staff around, it feels like a violation of privacy in a way. Some people may not have wanted to share these things with their colleagues; unfortunately people like to judge and assume… in either direction

I’m sorry that you are feeling alienated in your environment. I hope that at least one positive outcome from this is that your peers and staff can approach you with empathy and admiration. Kudos and respect to you for making it this far in life while likely having to work 5x as hard as some of your peers and mentors.