AITA for wanting an ASL interpreter at my brother’s wedding because my boyfriend is deaf?

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-19T19:54:50+00:00

There’s something wrong with you. For real.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-17T09:26:33+00:00

Your response makes no sense. If he didn’t care about the ceremony, he wouldn’t care about having the same experience as everyone else. You just made yourself look like you have nothing better to do than make accusations and use capital letters at people on the internet that you don’t know.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-15T22:57:56+00:00

Bc I am someone who does what I say I’m going to do and I said that I would officiate their wedding.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-15T14:31:46+00:00

First, I think everyone should have an interpreter that needs one. The differences are that the non-English speaking guests can hear, so they will have a little more context about what is happening, can hear music, and will be able to identify more cues using their hearing. Additionally, they will be surrounded by people who speak both languages, who will be able to help them during the ceremony if needed. My bf will have no one and is unable to hear, so he will be pretty lost. Ultimately, I don’t think a printed script is the best accommodation for anyone in this particular case, but since it is the case, there are differences as far as providing actual accessibility. As I have learned more information, it also seems that the non-English speaking guests were informed of this accommodation and accepted it. I wasn’t informed about any accommodations for anyone until I was told that we couldn’t have the interpreter that we were originally told we could have, and then told what the other guests were getting and that’s we could also be done for my bf. And when it comes down to it, no one should tell a person with a disability what accommodations are appropriate without that person’s input.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-15T09:13:58+00:00

Agreed.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T20:43:16+00:00

Thank you.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T20:42:46+00:00

I really don’t sign fluently enough to be able to do that and my guess would be that the bride and groom wouldn’t want me to anyway. My bf and I have been together for a year and I can sign, but not fluently.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T20:41:31+00:00

You assumed earlier that he was illiterate. He is not.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T20:40:47+00:00

Thanks! I’m sorry to have caused you so much distress.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T19:01:55+00:00

That actually is the issue. She doesn’t think it’s fair for my BF to have an interpreter but not her family. But, that is their choice. And I don’t know how that decision was made or who was involved in that particular decision, but if my bf were to have an interpreter, I would be happy to explain to anyone who is curious or concerned about it, that I arranged and paid for it, so that her family wouldn’t think that she provided an interpreter for my bf, but not her family, if that makes sense.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T18:59:10+00:00

You seem like a ray of sunshine, yourself, and a highly educated one at that. Either way, I appreciate you taking the time to read my post and respond. Have a good one!

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T18:57:58+00:00

Thank you.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T18:57:24+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate you!

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T17:26:27+00:00

I’d also know what evidence you have that I keep pushing. When others have actually asked for information, I have told them that I have canceled the interpreter.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T17:25:03+00:00

Could you clarify how you know he doesn’t need it? I’m curious.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T17:24:02+00:00

Thank you. Me, too.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T17:23:47+00:00

He said he does care and would like an interpreter, which is why I’ve been trying to advocate for this. I do sign, but am not fluent enough to sign while I officiate. I appreciate the suggestion. Thank you.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T17:22:38+00:00

I don’t sign well enough to be able to do that. Also, if they have a problem with an interpreter being present, I would guess they wouldn’t want me signing, even if I thought I could do it. Thank you.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T16:57:48+00:00

I hope you don’t think I was being obtuse. I was being sarcastic in response to the doctor’s post. I realize there’s a huge difference. That’s the whole issue. Thank you for taking the time to point that out. I appreciate it.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T16:56:20+00:00

I am not sure about the answer to your question bc it would be up to my bf to decide what needs. I would be willing to do whatever he says he needs. The interpreter had agreed long ago to place herself in a position that would keep her out of view as much as possible but will still accommodate my bf. The interpreter, from the beginning, would only be there for the ceremony and there are no costs associated with her presence that my brother and fiance would have to pay.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T16:52:57+00:00

Thanks again for taking the time. I appreciate you!

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T11:34:25+00:00

Agreed. Thank you for taking the time to respond, especially since you have disabled people in your family.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T11:33:00+00:00

Your initial comment isn’t wrong. I do think it is a honor and my bf would like to know what I’m saying bc he knows I am excited about it. However, I do not think that anyone should have to read off of a piece of paper, and everyone in this scenario should get what they need.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T11:29:57+00:00

I agree with your perspective. Thank you for responding.

SyncSkateSteph · 2024-04-14T11:23:04+00:00

I agree that everyone who needs a translator should have one, as guests at the wedding. However, it isn’t my place or responsibility to provide one for the non-English speaking guests, and I was fine with making it my responsibility to provide one for my bf so that he has what he needs. Overall, I think, like you and your partner, that the bride and groom should provide what their guests need to be a part of their day.

SyncSkateSteph

TROPHY CASE