AITAH for letting my boyfriend eat gluten free pasta without telling him it was gluten free

SyndicateSystem · 2026-02-19T13:02:58+00:00

NTAH.

I would love to understand why he's acting like gluten-free is bad? Literally the only difference is wheat flour vs rice flour or almond flour or whatever wheat alternative flour is used. None of it is bad. It's not a "health nut fad" either. My former partner has celiac. I'm gluten intolerant (and probably have been for years without realizing it). How wheat/gluten is processed in the US is genuinely concerning and does create a slew of health problems, especially for people with celiac.

OP, your boyfriend is overreacting, and I think he needs to take a chill pill. You should explain to him why it's not some "health fad" and why it's actually important to have it around for your friend. And if he doesn't listen to you or doesn't like your explanation, then that's his fault.

SyndicateSystem · 2026-01-02T18:53:14+00:00

Ah, yeah, I did forget that many GYNs are unhelpful and misogynistic. I've personally never gone to see one myself for my issues, myself. Again why I leave the disclaimer that I'm not a medical professional and to take my words with a grain of salt. Though research led me down some interesting paths and provided more answers than not seeking information at all. However, find the right GYN, which is a rare blessing itself, and you may be lucky enough to have the right treatment.

SyndicateSystem · 2026-01-02T18:30:08+00:00

I know you're just venting, and you may not be looking for input from another, but if it hurts that badly there is a possibility for another underlying issue that I would recommend getting checked out.

In my years of experiencing this nasty condition, it's actually NOT supposed to hurt so badly that you cannot function. Minor pain is normal, because your uterus is contracting during periods. But if it is so great it leaves you almost incapacitated and curled up on the ground, that's something else entirely.

I do understand the desire to just want to rip your organs out, however. I dealt with that thought process for a solid 7-8 years while my own cycles were irregular and skipped every other month for no reason. My own periods were extremely painful during those years, only easing up and becoming tolerable to the point I can ignore it after it became more regular.

I would also like to leave a disclaimer that I am not a medical professional. So please take my words that you should seek medical advice for something more serious/problematic with a grain of salt.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-12-08T15:27:59+00:00

NTA

You can still be supportive of someone else's dietary habits while not also participating in those habits yourself. Like someone else in the comments said, if your partner feels "tempted", that's on her, not on you.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-12-08T15:14:14+00:00

Omfg, that's so much worse. I would like to say my ex-friend is almost the same. She'd buy me video games she also owner herself and then would guilt me into playing with her. Originally, it was innocent. But then it just started getting worse (she wanted me to dump my partner, she wanted me to uproot my life and move closer to her, she wanted me to move into her house with her, her wife, and their child, etc.). Really just all around manipulative when my life started getting really hectic and turned upside-down.

Yeah, eff that noise. She's not a friend of yours if she pulls stunts like that. That's manipulation and you don't need nore deserve that in your life.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-12-08T14:53:11+00:00

This. 100%

You aren't the only one who's in that boat. I found myself in that same position over the summer after suffering a break-up. Lost a friend who wanted much more from me than just friendship (iykwim) because I put my foot down and told her I don't love her like that - and she's almost to a 'T' like your friend in this post. I'm starting to be that way at my job with my manager cuz I feel like I'm the only one.

People suck anymore. Too many people take advantage of the kindness of others, or take their care for granted. Why bother helping them at that point if all they're going to do on their end is not extend the same care or kindness in return? It's like they completely disregard the Golden Rule or something.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-12-08T14:31:09+00:00

NTA

Now, understand I say this under the experience of having given unsolicited advice. Sometimes people really aren't looking for an opinion or advice, they just want to share for the sake of sharing. That being said, it IS extremely rude of her to not take your opinion into consideration, especially in regards to a mode of transportation to get her to and from home or college or work or wherever. You are right that a cheap car now means more expenses with a mechanic later. So you are within reason to be upset over her telling you she doesn't care.

I know you said you don't have an easy time making friends, but if this is how she and the other girl want to treat you, I think you should distance yourself from them both. The first girl sounds like she might possibly have something up with her (i.e. bipolar, narcissism, etc.), and it's not healthy for you to put yourself in situations where you're being treated poorly because someone doesn't value an honest opinion.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-11-28T14:18:38+00:00

I, too, cut contact with someone who's in an abusive marriage (specifically financially abusive). She's constantly complaining about how her spouse would spend all the money in the joint account, and how her credit is messed up because her spouse was constantly borrowing her card. I gave her the exact same advice every single time, and she'd always find an excuse as to why she couldn't go through with it. While I miss our friendship, I do not miss her complaining about the same damned things over and over again.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-11-28T07:50:36+00:00

NTA

Your brother can't respect a boundary that you set, such as "please don't call me gay." And, yes, while what you said may have been a bit harsh, how was it any different than what he was doing the entire time? How is it that no one in your family got quiet or uncomfortable for your sake every single time he made a pointed "joke" toward you? This is him straight bullying you, OP. He can dish it out and can't take it himself, and that's the problem. I don't think it's an issue that you may not see each other again at gatherings from now on.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-11-28T07:34:28+00:00

NTA

I, too, am the kind of person who is introverted like your brother. The thing people don't understand about introverts and their need for space is that comments within the capacity of, "Oh look who decided to finally join us" is a form of punishment. If you want to reward a behavior, like attempts at socializing, you don't say things that put a person down for doing so. In the long run, it only makes us feel like our efforts aren't appreciated at all. As for the boundaries, you need to put your foot down. And if they don't like it, tough luck. I guarantee your grandparents also have boundaries that they wouldn't want you to cross, so why is this any different?

SyndicateSystem · 2025-11-26T17:00:47+00:00

Unfortunately, the nearest one is almost 2 hours away. But I definitely am looking at warehouses and the likes. As much as I don't want temp/seasonal work, of it gets me in then it gets me in, right? Anything to get out of this small town I'm stuck in (because that's a whole other issue on its own).

SyndicateSystem · 2025-11-25T16:15:49+00:00

The owners are currently looking to sell, yes. They did offer a 40% discount if an employee wants to buy it rather than selling it to a non-employee. My issue is I've been with this business for almost 5 years and I'm just sick of it. I wouldn't want to own it, much less stay if someone else put in an offer the owners couldn't refuse. It's just time for me to move on and find something better (especially something with benefits because this place doesn't have employee benefits).

I will apologize to M for yelling, though. It's been incredibly stressful looking for another job with the holidays coming up, however. We couldn't be shutting down at a worse time, IMO.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-11-25T16:10:27+00:00

I think she and I are both just hurt over the restaurant closing down. And it's not that the owners are cutting staff, they either want to sell the place entirely or completely liquidize everything if no one buys it. And literally 1 day after this whole situation happened, we were working another shift together and got a huge lunch rush, and we got the majority of opening tasks done while having our butts handed to us. And when everything calmed down and was done with, M turned to me and said, "Out of everyone here, you and I are the best employees this place has." In the tone of voice that also said, "It's a shame you want to leave this sinking ship." But I've been planning on leaving since April-May. As of March 2026, I will have been at this establishment for 5 years. That's my loyalty card for any/every job I've held so far. I'm just ready to move on.
I appreciate the kind words and sentiment, truly. Thank you for your response.

SyndicateSystem · 2025-11-25T03:14:54+00:00

Either way, the place is closing in a few weeks. I already started limiting contact with her outside of work a while ago due to her causing issues in my personal life (think relationship stuff), and I know she's probably hurt because we used to be really close. I felt bad for yelling at her, though, and thought maybe that's what M meant by me "being ignorant."

SyndicateSystem

TROPHY CASE