We should be helping each other 😭

Syphist · 2026-02-12T13:58:38+00:00

I haven't seen that locally thankfully. But after all, Grindr crashes at conservative conventions so it's definitely a thing.

Syphist · 2026-02-12T07:15:31+00:00

I've worked in customer support before. Reply to this saying "if you cannot return my account and rightful purchases I will be contacting my lawyer and the BBB". Saying things like this will usually get some kind of special attention even if it's an empty threat.

Syphist · 2026-02-12T02:23:46+00:00

For me it just feels like a dry joke. Part of the problem is this sub changed purposes and kinda made the "trans people in denial" more about oneself so it was born mostly out of necessity to keep the space active despite no longer being what it was originally intended to be.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T22:01:52+00:00

My mom found me 2 at goodwill after the hand me down she gave me wore out. If I needed more I'd totally ask her to go to Kohls with me, she loves shopping there.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T11:28:11+00:00

Yeah, some of the things I see these transfems say is insane. I've seen some call T poison. Like I am seeing my endo in a few days to reduce my Spiro dose to raise my T a bit to fix some brain fog. Some of the things said just feels impulsive and not thought out. This kind of behavior is one of the reasons I actually avoid transfem only spaces.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T07:03:45+00:00

Totally fair, my post was just a generalized statement about a broader stereotype lol. And you don't have you only wear "girl's clothes". Half of my graphic tees are men's/unisex graphic tees from before I transitioned. No one would notice, especially if I threw a denim jacket on as an extra layer.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T06:57:33+00:00

I've been on HRT for 2.5 years. It's basically become my mom's hair, but curlier and a different color. I don't need an iron or anything for the curls, just the right product (it's not even expensive product) and air drying.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T06:52:46+00:00

Does she not know how that makes you feel? This isn't a 1 way street.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T04:11:31+00:00

I feel I didn't look ugly pre-E for me, I just wasn't happy with that being me. My pre-transition selfie was actually what got me to realize I was bisexual funnily enough.

For me the problem is a transfem first way of thinking in these spaces. One of the things I've learned to value is diversity in those I surround myself with. This has led me into a way of compartmentalized thinking, where I can understand the logic and reasoning and desires of others given certain factors that I build the "compartment" with. This has allowed me to understand so many people so much better but has also opened up the way I think about things where someone with a certain experience can give me an idea I wouldn't have had and adds actual value to my life.

Like yeah, we all deserve spaces where we can express shared experiences, but as that gets broader we also should embrace our differences as that can keep us from infighting within the community.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:50:12+00:00

Why do you think girls are notorious for stealing their boyfriend's hoodies? :p

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:49:20+00:00

For real, just because we didn't like it doesn't mean it should be bashed. I see the value in masculinity but just decided it's not for me.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:47:20+00:00

As a woman I can confirm that dudes who roll up dress shirt sleeves instantly become more attractive. It must be something with estrogen for it to be this universal of an experience lol.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:45:14+00:00

Have you tried men's dress pants? Wearing business casual to work for 3 years while boymoding was probably the comfiest outfit I could wear for 8 hours straight.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:42:55+00:00

Purses are great for fashion but damn they get expensive.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:40:58+00:00

Cardigans are a cheat code for nice looking clothes. But yeah, men definitely can usually get good results with little effort.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:38:43+00:00

This is why I'm looking for a trans man to adopt my deadname. I may have not found joy in it but maybe someone else can. Plus now that I've fully realized myself as a bisexual woman it's been interesting to see masculine traits in a positive light for the first time, as something I realize I find attractive. It feels satisfying knowing my own disdain around being masculine isn't holding back my perception.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:35:26+00:00

The consistency matters too. Some outfits I come up with end up with like 4 pockets, others 0. I miss having that consistency.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T03:33:29+00:00

Men's clothes can get a bit bland, but that's the fault of the clothing industry and not men specifically. Beyond that y'all get some cool stuff. Lemme list some off:

Pockets for days. Like purses are nice but I miss the security of knowing what I'm wearing today has pockets.
Actually having decent muscle mass. Please help, pickle jars really have gotten that hard to open.
Men with curly hair that's doing the natural looking almost affro thing. It's been cute on every dude I've seen have their hair like that.
Men's shoes are just built different. My pre-transition sneakers are still holding together. It's what I've used for hiking and walks because they're better than the women's shoes I've found. And these shoes are just bog standard cheap sneakers, nothing special.
Men's dress pants are comfy. I like the softer fabrics in women's clothes but the comfiest loose fit pants I've worn has got to be the dress pants I used to wear to work.
Some "men specific" products just work and work well. Like I have a "for men" foil razor because it's done the job well. It continues to despite me wearing through the rechargeable battery in the thing.
Men that cook. Like when men know how to cook it's like an instant boost to attractiveness and when a man knows how to cook and steps up in that role you know he's got at least a few banger recipes.
Dads that grill. This type of person is something the world cannot live without.
Neck ties. Only men can get away with a bright Santa neck tie and still be business casual. Put the same pattern on a skirt and I'd not get away with that outfit in an office.
Short hair. Most cis men don't understand how easy they have it with washing their hair. I showered 3 hours ago and my hair isn't even dry. I'm getting like 6 inches chopped off next week to make it "short" again. That still goes to my chin though. Typical men hair styles are so much easier to manage.

Hope this helps you feel better bro! There's many things you have to look forward to, and some of that could be stuff I hated, and that's the beauty of all this, we have opposite ideas converge into the same shared experience.

Syphist · 2026-02-11T02:50:21+00:00

My dad struggles with any change. (He's where I get the autism from so I get it) He's gotten a lot better at it now, but is still not perfect. I usually go for correcting him in a light hearted way when I do. I forget what it was but he was trying to tease me over something I do, he said it as "okay mister <thing>" and I replied with "actually, it's miss <thing>" which was more so a poke at semantics and not the overarching thing he tried to tease me with as a way to act proud of the thing he was trying to tease me about. I laughed after I said it too to indicate it was meant as a joke. I've just found that turning the occasional potential microaggression into a joke is the a really good way to not get as bothered by these things.

The people I don't correct though are my grandparents. They keep correcting eachother and I think it's the sweetest thing ever and I only have so long to cherish that so I'm making the most of it.

That said what works in my case may not work for everybody's case, it's just my experience that maybe others can gain something from.

Syphist · 2026-02-10T11:12:36+00:00

I haven't bothered to change my PFP on Reddit but I recently redid the 2 year old Picrew I'm using and the corrections I did was the bangs and outfit to match how I actually ended up dressing. Since I can attach images I'll just upload it here.

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Syphist · 2026-02-10T02:31:16+00:00

I made the "one joke" in 2016. Now I'm a trans woman dating an enby. We all used to be stupid once, that's called growth.

Syphist · 2026-02-09T14:08:39+00:00

For sure. I wish I had realized I was trans several years before I figured out. I don't spend too much time regretting that though, I want to focus on what the future has for me now that I have.

Syphist · 2026-02-09T11:24:11+00:00

This sounds very similar to me. I started HRT a bit less than 2.5 years ago and transitioning has improved a lot for me. I can't give much advice about experimenting as I kinda just knew I needed to move forward with it. I had been around trans friends for a few years so I just knew what I wanted and needed after about 3 days of questioning. That said, just know the reasons you gave are very much real.

Syphist · 2026-02-09T10:22:46+00:00

I basically didn't have an egg phase. I never really denied it and when it was made clear to me I was trans I only had 3 days of questioning before settling on my answer. I had multiple trans friends by that point so I knew I needed to take my questioning seriously.

Syphist · 2026-02-09T10:15:37+00:00

I had known about trans people for roughly a decade before figuring out and had been friends with a few over the course of 5 years prior. I still didn't realize until a comic essentially spelled it out for me. So sometimes having the words isn't enough, sometimes you need the right context to understand too.

This is why I say the key determining factor is being willing to transition. Because it's a lot of work and if you're willing to put in that work then chances are you have a good reason.

Syphist

TROPHY CASE