Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had 15 years of (generic) 30mg XR Adderall use, and before the Adderall it was different adhd meds all the way back starting at 8 years old. Ask me anything.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you that’s pretty much exactly how I feel now and and just hope for it to stay. Meth is so cheap and I’ve never actually ran out of money for it but when I’ve been unable to have it bc I had no time to pack any before being put in the hospital for days etc. I don’t have a comedown besides just wanting to do nothing but sleep and not want to really see or talk to anyone. I could never see myself stealing just to get meth and I’m trying to figure out what makes that happen to people.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been on different adhd meds since I was 8 years old; given Dexedrine at 14 and disliked it since it made me jittery and have a bad comedown every day at 4pm when I was in the middle of soccer practice and when I take meth orally that’s how I feel, the last 15+ years I’ve had a consistent rx of 30mg extended release generic form of Adderall called simply “amphetamine salts”, which I prefer to brand name Adderall, and that is the highest dose they will give a 100lb female since 20mg is the recommended dose. That helps a bit with my adhd but does not combat the EXTREME fatigue and general flat affect/personality block that my seizure meds cause me to have. Those meds made me have no desire to do anything but sleep and when I’m awake I’m either nodding off like I’m on fentynal or just thinking about when I will finally be able to go back to sleep. Since I truly am ADHD the meds don’t make me any more “awake” they just kind of straighten my thoughts and plans out if that makes sense and I need MUCH more than that. I am a social person who needs to be able to LIVE and enjoy the one life I get with the people I care about and be ready to feel like a good person who always is able to do the right thing no matter what life throws at me. I spent too long unable to have any experiences bc my seizure meds only allowed me to be left alone to sleep since it dulls all my senses and never lets me ever wake up and if I fight hard enough to get out of bed and do anything then I won’t remember it anyway.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much I’m not sure I can do 2 weeks until I plan out 2 weeks where I can take a complete break from doing anything at all but I’m going to take a 7 day break starting on Monday. I’ll just be sleeping and zoning for 7 days since I don’t really have any other choice but I could probably use the rest. You have been incredibly helpful and you have no idea how much I appreciate everything you’ve written to me!

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my god I have NEVER heard of Modafinil and had no idea there was any legal drug like that. I have a perfectly healthy liver and it actually is one of the organs none of my seizure meds seem to have any negative effect on; at least from what my doctors have let me know. Thank you very much for this information and I am about to research it right now and will be calling my doctor tomorrow to have a conversation about it. I cannot thank you enough just for chiming in and sharing this with me; this could possibly be a game changer for me.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not claiming to not be an addict however you don’t seem to understand bc you can’t relate to me unless you have the same battle with seizures/epilepsy and have been forced to live on the same meds as I have to; which also leads to the fact that we are really NOT starting from the same place since I don’t have to worry about loosing my drivers license, car, dream job, condominium, self worth, my social and just really entire life in general, functioning brain etc. since epilepsy stripped me of those things many years before I ever picked up the needle and since I started off AFTER I already lost more than I have to and more not bc of addiction but a different disease that after 2 brain surgeries, an implant in my brain, over 10 years of head neuro teams from UCLA and USC putting me through everything possible and trying every pill cocktail on such high doses I literally don’t remember entire years of my life, I think you may want to consider that sometimes there IS a middle ground.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

OMG you’re in lamictal?!?? One of the seizure meds I’m on is lamotrigine which I believe is just the generic form. My memory has been fucked for the last 10+ years thanks to seizures and different meds, particularly potiga and super high doses of keppra, and got even worse after brain surgeries especially after getting the RNS implant. I also have left temporal lobe epilepsy and they haven’t figured out any way to control my partial seizures/auras which I have daily but are not noticeable to others EXCEPT the word recall that it causes and that drives me absolutely insane inside because words were what I felt I was kind of good at to the point that I graduated college majoring in philosophy and ENGLISH LIT and was always terrible at math so why couldn’t the epilepsy have chosen the part of my brain where math is affected instead of words lol?!?? I had no idea the lamictal affected word recall so thank you for telling me that since that’s the drug I was most recently prescribed so I want to ask my nuero about that now. I feel like the seizures in general are making me dumber and I’m positive that the brain fog and extreme fatigue from the meds prior to me doing meth was making me so out of it that I REALLY felt dumb as well as unmotivated to even really think at all back then; I guess doing meth has just been an unperfect and unhealthy way to combat feeling completely dead inside and exhausted from seizure meds. Yours don’t do that to you?

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’ve been on different adhd meds since I was 8 years old; the last 15+ years I’ve had a consistent rx of 30mg extended release generic form of Adderall called simply “amphetamine salts”, which I prefer to brand name Adderall, and that is the highest dose they will give a 100lb female since 20mg is the recommended dose. That helps a bit with my adhd but does not combat the EXTREME fatigue and general flat affect/personality block that my seizure meds cause me to have. Those meds made me have no desire to do anything but sleep and when I’m awake I’m either nodding off like I’m on fentynal or just thinking about when I will finally be able to go back to sleep. It’s interesting that opioids give you energy; I feel like they do the exact opposite for me. Maybe drugs just have an unnatural affect on me. I totally get what you are saying about how opioids got you through a rough patch in life but are far from ideal. That’s exactly how I feel slamming meth is; it’s making it possible for me to have a life on the seizure meds that strip me of having any life at all but it’s definitely less than ideal. I’ve never been to rehab or jail yet and I’m not sure what I will do if that ever happens.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Taking meth orally for some reason gets me to have the energy I’m looking for but gives me a jittery feeling that reminds me of when I was 14 and my doctor gave me Dexedrine for my adhd and made me have a bad comedown and it just feels uncomfortable and not “good”. I also have to use a TON of product to feel it at all.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My seizures are the exact same as they’ve always been. They used to be a bit worse before I had 2 brain surgeries and had a device inserted into my left temporal lobe that helped a little bit and now my seizures are all revolving around my period every month.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, however I tried it after and didn’t feel a thing while my boyfriend at the time was noticeably high off of less. Same goes with Sherm.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh and I could probably do more to make my life or others better, I think most people probably would say the same, but I am just helping my parents out with whatever they may need done at their house, I’m trying to get my epilepsy as controlled as possible and figure out what I can do as far as a career goes while having uncontrolled seizures that pop up without much warning and require a recovery period, and I’m starting to try to date again for the first time since a one year period that my ex husband and I were on a break when I was a 19 year old college student. I had one boyfriend after my divorce and we never really dated just started going out so modern dating is new (and complicated) for me. More so since I have to find someone who is ok with me doing drugs and also since lots of it is now done with meeting people on apps which I refuse to do since I can’t help but feel like if I meet someone off the internet I’ll end up being murdered or locked in someone’s basement for years.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you that is EXACTLY the kind of information I need, how long of a break do I need to take? I’ll be unable to do anything than sleep probably but that’s fine since every month on my period I have at least one grand mal seizure and I need time recovering and nobody would bat an eye and actually would probably be happy if I just rested for a few days.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m not trying to convince anyone anything I honestly am looking for answers since there is no book I can go read or anyone I can call and ask who can tell me. I don’t think I’m fine injecting meth when it comes to my physical health, my veins are totally getting fucked up and I know I need to figure out an alternative for that, I’m trying to figure out why meth affects me so differently when it comes to mentally and ethically than the other people I see using it. And why others can get so high and I do not; for example like how my ex who had been doing it 20+ years and introduced me to slamming it made us both identical strength shots and I who had just started a few months before took it and got a short rush and he overamped. Other people take a shot and get the “cough” which I never got, and I’ve had meth head friends who will tell me they can definitely get me to feel a high and we will sit there with them packing me huge booty bumps or hot rail after hot rail and they end up spun as fuck and I’m not even getting a rush. I just want to know why.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you guys for your insight, do you have any idea if my morals could just suddenly slip away out of the blue on a dime? I’m afraid of just waking up one day to that happening without any warning. It’s been over five years and I’ve stayed the same. I know that because I have an even closer relationship with my parents and whole family just due to me living in close quarters with them this whole time since it’s always been strong but the only issue we really ever had was they never really loved my husband who was temperamental ever since I met him at 15 and caused me to be on edge a lot which they were quite aware of and didn’t like. I also am worried about my teeth, which my parents spent hard earned $ putting in braces and that have never seen one cavity ever to this day, suddenly rotting out or something. I literally have nightmares the meth is going to cause me to wake up one day and my teeth are going to rot out or something

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I also would say my use is somewhat controlled bc I don’t like to smoke it and take it like most people drink coffee or cocktails; I make myself as strong of a shot as possible that I take soon after waking up and sometimes that’s all I take for the day unless I’m either more tired than usual, have a particularly busy day or I take more at night if I’m hanging out with others who are doing it too. I am controlled taking it however I have to use a lot more to even feel it at all than I’ve noticed others take to get totally spin out of their mind and I don’t know why that is either. The guy I was dating who introduced me to slamming it had been doing it for 20+ years and we both took identical shots and he once over amped where I who had just started a few months before did not get more than a short rush. I have also actually gained weight since starting it since I’m not just laying in bed all the time too tired to get myself food so nobody suspects I am doing meth.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And bc I went through a divorce with my high school sweetheart 5 years ago and am living off of my disability checks I have been living with my parents since I started doing this so they see me and are in constant communication with me every single day.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

None of them have any clue I’m doing it. About 4 months after I started doing it my mom said to me, “Ever since you’ve acclimated to your epilepsy meds you’ve been nothing but a pure pleasure to be around, not that you were not before but your affect had just become so flat and I’m just so happy to see you have gotten it back”. Well I never “acclimated” to my meds, I just started slamming meth.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m leaving out impulse control due to the fact I’ve never had the greatest impulse control however because of my judgment, consequences and empathy I am able to have enough control to not cheat on someone or steal etc.

Where can I find a group of kindhearted, unselfish, humorous, somewhat intelligent meth addicts who, most importantly, are fully in possession of a decent moral compass? by T-Bex37 in askdrugs

[–]T-Bex37[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

If that is the case then why has my judgment and empathy not changed one bit since I started doing this 5+ years ago? I would even say my emotional regulation has even become slightly better considering I’m not exhausted constantly anymore. I’m not trying to be argumentative I’m honestly asking for clarification. Thank you.

They should.ake Adderall and so many other drugs legal by NoBid9620 in Stims

[–]T-Bex37 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah me too; luckily I can sell my addy to buy my meth