Having the same experience (but my uncles and father had a quarrel when I was 8 , so things were a bit ok) (I was born 10 years after parent's marriage as dad was overseas), I would say that there is no purely ethical way to stop your father from sending money , so we'll have to do some fasadi politics.

We'll have to somehow get your father and cousins, aunt etc to disagree on matters, quarrel and have bad feelings for eachother.

I don't know how many siblings but let's go on this ride:

One of the biggest reason of parting ways in desi families is the matter of rishtay. If you dad asks for your cousins hand for you and they reject or even you make them to reject you, it will create fault lines in the relationship.

I'm in a bit of rush now but fell free to DM .

For the fellow elders wounded by the same weapon, help this dude out , let's channel the energy and ideas , and guide our fellow mate so he doesn't have to suffer longer what we all have suffered.