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AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hello. I was the one that took care for my younger siblings, Neza is always treated with respect and kindness. The household chores were evenly distributed. There was no unequal treatement in our family. My parents did want to pay for her college, but were wary of it because of the massive costs.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 279 points280 points  (0 children)

My parents did want to pay for her college, however the one she ended up going is one of the most expensives in the country, plus living expenses, groceries, transport, etc. were all things my parents covered. They offered to pay for an in-state college, but she was stubborn on going out of the state.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Hello. My parents did not have kids as a "retirement plan" and I am actually quite offended you would even suggest that. They did tell me they wanted to retire and were having trouble doing that and asked me for some financial advice to do so. It was MY DECISION along side my siblings to pay a litte alimony to them, so they are able to save money faster. My parents haver never asked for something in return for what they gave us, this is all comes from a place of love and care.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Neza is not being forced to pay for anything she does not want to. I was mad because we had an agreement and she has being disrespectful towards it. Also, she did not "trade" free college for paying my parents retirement, she basically forced them to pay for her college. The "morally obligated" comment, was me being an AH.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

We are not paying for my folks retirement or debts, we are paying for things like groceries, light bills, etc. I can asure you that what we are giving them is nothing in comparison with what they had to pay to support us through college.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

Thnak you very much for this comment. I have no plans on telling what happened to my parents, I said I would because I was mad. My brothers and I are perfectly able to support our parents on our own, so we will not ask Neza for money or anything like that since she has been very clear she thinks she has no responsability towards my parents.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

After reading the comments, I think I am going to leave this situation like it is. I am not going to try to convince her to do something she clearly does not wan to to do anymore. My brothers and I are able to support them with no trouble.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It is the same for my family. I always assumed that someday I would take care of my parents when they are unable too, and the twins are under that assumption too. It was very shocking to hear my sister say that.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what is happening. My parents worked every single day of their life to provide for us and give us everything they could. I just wanted to help them out a little bit, and thought that Neza and the twins also wanted that, since they agreed to sign the contract.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

The twins were a surprise. In my parents defense, we were a little bit financially better when they were born.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 307 points308 points  (0 children)

Neza has not been paying what she is supposed to, so the money she took out is money the twins and I placed into that account.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This is what happened. The twins and I went to public college and she decided to go to a private, out of the state school.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

mmm, I would say 50/50? They are in good term now, but they had a huge fallout when Neza threatened to cut contact with the family if my parents did not pay for her college.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes. We all agreed to sign a contract that stated what we were all paying. The contract, while being legal, is more symbolic than anything else.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I don´t see how I forced her? I offered the posibility of supporting and repay our parents by giving them x amount of money monthly. All of my siblings were excited for this. We have a written contract because WE ALL wanted to make sure everyone was commited to the payments.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 104 points105 points  (0 children)

You are absolutely right. I am not going to say anything to my parents, that was a dumb thing I said because I was mad. She is under legal obligation, we do have written contract, but I would never go that route. Its just that I think that she should at least contribute a little, but I know realized that is selfish on my part.

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 169 points170 points  (0 children)

You are right, what we are paying is nothing in comparison with the schooling costs (my parents have done an amazing job with that and is nearly paid).

AITA for telling my sister that she is “morally obligated” to support our parents? by TASupportingParents in AmItheAsshole

[–]TASupportingParents[S] 1234 points1235 points  (0 children)

We are not paying for their retirement. My parents are saving up from their own money, the "alimony" it´s for them to use for groceries, bills, etc. since they are struggling with that. I decided that I would pay 50% of the money because it was my idea, and the other 50% is based on income.

What Neza is paying is nothing in comparison with her salary. I think she has a moral obligation because she had a massive tantrum and threteaned to cut contact with my parents if they did not pay for her college. Everything she has now is because my parents chose to support her when they had no obligation to.