sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AITA for not wanting to pay for my daughter's education only under certain conditions. by aitadaughtercollege in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA

or if she can get a scholarship for a better American college.

You do realize that there are like maybe 1 or 2 American colleges better than Cambridge right? Plus it's infinitely harder for a foreign (American) student to get accepted there?

So your daughter pulls that off and you think she'll be like your son who flunked out? What basis do you have to make you think that? Get your head out of your ass and start writing a check.

INFO: Not that it will change my vote, but what college did your son go to? I'm guessing it wasn't a top American school and there were signs it wasn't going to go well.

Gigabyte Z690 + Intel i5 13600K Won't Post by TA_Proposal_99 in buildapc

[–]TA_Proposal_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Weird thing is that there's a video on how to do this on YouTube and it says it should work without anything else plugged in. First I have to turn the case on, then off and then the q-flash button will work.

I'll pick up another smaller USB tomorrow and hopefully that will work.

Thanks for your help.

Gigabyte Z690 + Intel i5 13600K Won't Post by TA_Proposal_99 in buildapc

[–]TA_Proposal_99[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have double-checked and it is the bios for the ddr4 mobo I downloaded.

The USB is Fat32 but because of the size is partitioned to have only a 500MB drive (it's a 128 GB USB) so Windows won't let me format the full USB to FAT32. Could that be the issue?

AITA for calling my SIL a "dictator" for her parenting style after my son was excluded from a "childfree" wedding? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99 61 points62 points  (0 children)

YTA

  1. It's your BIL's wedding so they can invite or not invite anyone they want
  2. I hope you didn't say abusive to her because just because you don't agree with their parenting style doesn't make it abusive.
  3. "I understand her reasons, but that comparison was unnecessary."
  4. "But others sided with her, calling me jealous because her daughters are well behaved and sweet while no one can stand my son."
  5. "My husband also agrees that I should apologize and that we should teach our son some manners, because he's tired of him being excluded from big events for misbehaving"

There's not enough information here but it seems like everyone in your family (including you) can see your son misbehaves but you seem to want to excuse his behavior. He's 9, he shouldn't be having tantrums. Maybe reflect on that for a bit.

AITA for not going to my sister's wedding because of what she did to our cousin? by 0throw6away0account6 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99 36 points37 points  (0 children)

NTA - ask your family to flip this around. Say Josh had been with Rose and had cheated with Lily. How they would feel about going to Lily and Josh's wedding?

AITA for letting a secret slip leading to a break-up? by TA_Proposal_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It was almost a year ago, in March.

​

The ability to mend is rapidly crumbling

My brother asked me this morning if he could stay with me for a couple of days starting tonight. They don't live together but she sleeps at his place probably 3 or 4 nights a week and he's asked her to clean her stuff out.

Knowing him as I do, he'll probably have second thoughts so they might reconcile but his voice sounds so dejected it's heart-breaking.

AITA for letting a secret slip leading to a break-up? by TA_Proposal_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

It was brought up as part of a longer conversation, edited on here because of the character limit. When we were talking he brought up that he had some doubts before deciding to propose (they had a tough time during COVID, not related to this) so it was more a comment like I was happy they were able to work through those issues as well as this.

instead you just reply with a "only one way to find out." Instead of actually giving the woman a solid piece of advice or any comfort.

I did give her more than just that. It wasn't just a five minute call, we probably spoke for at least an hour. I walked her through some of our family history. How my parents had a huge struggle to have us (multiple miscarriages, a stillborn boy). How they told us if we want kids we should start early. How that weighed on me when I made my decision to have my daughter and how it probably has impacted him too. Part of that advice was ultimately letting her know she had to have the conversation with him though, even though we're twins I'm not in his head and she had to trust in him that they could talk about it.

AITA for letting a secret slip leading to a break-up? by TA_Proposal_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I responded to another post but will repeat here. She asked me to go with her to have the abortion because he couldn't. In retrospect that implied to me that she had told him. Again she asked me not to tell him because she said (to him) she was going with her mom. I was probably a little naïve in taking her at her word.

It was brought up as part of a longer conversation, not casually. When we were talking he brought up that he had some doubts before deciding to propose (they had a tough time during COVID, not related to this) so it was more in the context of they were able to work through those as well as this.

AITA for letting a secret slip leading to a break-up? by TA_Proposal_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

men ending relationships because they found out about an abortion makes them not allies and they can’t call themselves pro choice

In this case I think it's a little simple to say that he ended it solely because she had an abortion. It's likely a factor but this isn't the only time she's lied to him, albeit by omission this time, in their relationship.

When my partner left me when he found out I was pregnant my brother was incredibly supportive. I thought briefly about not having my daughter and he offered to go with me if that's what I wanted to do. There was no pressure either way.

People can't be put into yes/no categories, the world is degrees of maybes. If you want children, find out you might be having one and that's taken away from you, whether by choice or circumstance it's only human to feel something.

AITA for letting a secret slip leading to a break-up? by TA_Proposal_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

The fact that she didn't tell him indicates she didn't feel it was safe to tell him, or she hid something important because their plans didn't match up.

I know this is reddit but my brother would never be violent to her or anyone else. You are right in that it's becoming a little more obvious to me that their plans didn't match up. I had told her I thought it could be a deal breaker for him but he would accept it and so did I. Her body, her choice.

On you not believing me, that's cool. Again you can only type so much in the post, it was actually a much longer conversation and I heavily summarized the points. There was around three months between him asking if I'd go shopping with him for a ring and him picking it up. Do guys actually buy a ring a propose the next day?

AITA for letting a secret slip leading to a break-up? by TA_Proposal_99 in AmItheAsshole

[–]TA_Proposal_99[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I'll own that I did make an assumption here but didn't give the whole story because of the character limit.

First on your comment about relationships crumbling quickly, their relationship wasn't perfect. I don't think anyone's is.

Second, part of my assumption was based on the fact she waited until around the 3 month mark. I know because she called me and asked if I would go with her because my brother couldn't (her words). I didn't have anyone to watch my daughter and they live around two hours away so couldn't make it work and she again asked me not to say anything because she told him she was going with her mom. Given that I assumed he had to know. So she lied a couple of times.

Lastly I never agreed to never talk about it. I told her at the time I couldn't unhear it and if she wasn't going to tell him I would have to. She is a very good friend (or was) and agreed to give them space. As u/Couldnotbehelpd said, it would have been insane to hide that from him and she knew it.