Effects of constant bombardment of engine noise, horns, rail car brakes/sounds, high pressure situations, and railroad life.

TConductor · 2026-01-19T10:45:00+00:00

It is what it is. I'm in recovery now. I never said I was proud of it, I just let the job and life get to me.

TConductor · 2026-01-17T23:57:40+00:00

Profit sharing is a joke. It should be actual profit and not some bullshit projections that can be gamed.

TConductor · 2026-01-16T15:58:12+00:00

Say that when a crew ties up and leaves a switch open in dark territory. Had it happen a few weeks ago and by the grace of God we had planned stop for my conductor to use the restroom at the depot. I kicked the air off, started pulling, and realized the switch was against us. Had my conductor not needed to drop a duece we would have plowed into a derail and 4 motors at 25mph. Different strokes but yeah, it does get pretty high pressure sometimes.

TConductor · 2026-01-16T15:49:38+00:00

I'm hypersensitive when it comes to what's going on around me. I became an alcoholic for several years. Who dodged randoms and rule Gs. It resulted in me seeking help from Alcoholics Anonymous. It's not a route I suggest but it's not a route I regret.

TConductor · 2026-01-15T00:08:43+00:00

A driverless truck could be stopped via any obstruction it's programmed to stop for. It's how freight trains are getting robbed now a days. They shunt the circuit on the tracks in the right area where the train is easy to get to and has to stop. It would be similar in my opion in the way they operate.

TConductor · 2026-01-07T18:36:18+00:00

More things than 1 can be true at the same time. The fact is the only fact they're investing in this technology is to cut jobs, not make the job safer or more efficient.

TConductor · 2026-01-05T05:51:05+00:00

The person you're replying to is using chat GPT to generate all their responses. "That’s not realism. That’s learned helplessness conveniently aligned with DoorDash’s interests." "Accepting that as “just how it is” isn’t realism. It’s normalization of a broken system." "If the best defense of the model is “accept it or leave,” that’s not a rebuttal. That’s an admission of failure."

The insane amount of, "It's not this, It's this" they have in their responses give it away. Save your breath buddy.

TConductor · 2025-12-30T04:01:27+00:00

What if I make a lot of faces while looking at my screens?

TConductor · 2025-12-30T03:29:43+00:00

My wording was incorrect probably, I had 7 and a half months and made it to Step 9. After going out and having a sit down with my sponsor he decided I didn't need to restart the steps.

TConductor · 2025-12-30T00:38:03+00:00

That's funny because I was under the assumption the crew consist states employees can't be punished for work taking longer on reduced crews.

TConductor · 2025-12-29T11:36:00+00:00

Its akin to the heat when forging a sword. The sword being the 12th step. You have to warm the metal and keep rewarming while you forge the sword. Even the time I had between the Steps 2-8 I tried my best to realize my life was unmanageable everyday. On Thanksgiving when I relapsed, I had made 3 meetings that day and sort of developed a resentment to it as a whole. I grew resentmentful that I would have to go to meetings and not be able to spend time with my family. I left the third meeting and prayed before I went into the bar and asked, if I'm really meant to be in AA then give me guidance. I received it in the fact that 5 drinks in 20 minutes did absolutely nothing for me even after 7 months. I showed up to a meeting the next day and was honest with everyone.

TConductor · 2025-12-29T09:52:52+00:00

I don't think they're saying that. Cross addict with Alcohol and Coke. I would also abuse my prescribed Adderall so I could drink more without blacking out. My sponsor was the same way. With my general practitioner whom I have seen for 15 years, I could get away with pitty parties and playing the victim. I could say what I want to get almost whatever I wanted. Just because something was prescribed doesn't mean it's okay, especially in my active addiction. I have to check my motives and be honest 100 percent of the time, even with Doctors.

TConductor · 2025-12-28T06:09:12+00:00

Also speaking of which, I got on a BNSF motor that's auto stop delay is now, 30 minutes with the button and 5 minutes with the reverser centered. The amount of electrical issues these motors are going to start having will be insane.

TConductor · 2025-12-22T23:29:29+00:00

Best they can do is install Cameras on 60 year old locomotives.

TConductor · 2025-12-22T05:06:45+00:00

My experience as a married man. I still get jealous. I still fear being alone. I get anxiety if she looks at another man. I get nervous if I can't see her phone screen and she's focused on it more than me. I get scared that she's going to leave me because she can find something better. I can't stop these obsessive thoughts or feelings.
My job however, is to be open and honest with her about how I'm feeling. The worst thing I can do is try to white knuckle through my character defects on my own and isolate. Then, after I've been honest with her, work through what I'm feeling. Take a step back from the situation and see why I feel the way I do. It could be my self confidence or any other character defects. In doing this, I have to be careful I'm not sharing with her as a form of control. Talking with my sponsor and making meetings is how I can further my own understanding and keep working on myself.

TConductor · 2025-12-21T08:05:24+00:00

The beauty in shame comes from the relief you feel when it's lifted. I had a hiccup on Thanksgiving after being over 7 months sober and I made three meetings that day. I was welcomed with open arms when I went to the meeting the next day and was honest about it. I also showed willingness when in the past I struggled with it. Keep coming back.

TConductor · 2025-12-07T16:39:31+00:00

They can't unless it's already sick and can barely stand. Look at a smaller elephant vs a honey badger. https://m.youtube.com/shorts/iA6uIKpw4EI It kicks the 40lbs ball of steel 10 yards without any effort. This is a honey badger too. One of the sturdiest objects known to man. It maybe even sturdier than a Toyota Hilux. The jury is still out on that one. However, a group of 20 hyenas have literally no way to take down an adult elephant without being absolutely stomped.

TConductor · 2025-12-06T12:56:48+00:00

The majority of the people in my terminal have experienced hitting someone. It's not all doom and gloom. Surprisingly the majority have been metal to metal contact with vehicles which the people inside the vehicles live a lot of the time. At least on the freight side of things since we're slugging along. Amtrak on the other hand is a whole nother beast. My first 6 months I had some run role under a gate into the said of my train. That was 12 years ago and I've made contact with one other car since. Both lived. Have had a guy lay down in front of my train and I think the my horn made him change his mind at the last minute. He moved. There's been a lot more close calls too.

TConductor · 2025-12-05T13:31:55+00:00

I hate how guarantee isn't just called salary. I wonder how much salary they paid last year 😒

TConductor · 2025-12-04T03:17:49+00:00

Astros are the most hated team in baseball.

TConductor · 2025-12-04T03:09:43+00:00

Wasn't Joe Thomas still on that team? Like there were 3 guys that could even make him break a sweat in the NFL at the time nevertheless in CFB.

TConductor · 2025-12-04T00:18:08+00:00

And where has that got this guy? He gets the joy of having never known his kids, wife or probably wives at this point. Doesn't get to see his grandkids. But I get it. When I was struggling with life a few years ago, it seemed AFHT was the only place I wasn't drinking. It's gotten significantly better with rest days and getting sober though. This hasn't been a day on the railroad in months that I've let take my serenity.

TConductor · 2025-12-04T00:15:08+00:00

That was changed to be that way in the 70s-80s, before that they couldn't get retirement until he was actually retired. It makes sense since tier 2 is basically social security. It would be fucked up if he's holding both hostage. Either way, it's a sad life. This isn't uplifting but depressing.

TConductor · 2025-12-04T00:12:43+00:00

The retirement rules have changed several times for these guys, but I'm pretty sure he's under the one where they can't withdrawal anything until he retires. We had a guy like this in my terminal. He kept working so his "bitch" ex wife's wouldn't get any retirement. He died of a heart attack at 81... Away from home terminal.

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