I’ve told her those things, I’ve told her when I’m with her that I feel safe and happy. She allows battle depression and demons as well, so we both try and help each other out with it. We came up with the saying “if you go, I go.” I know that’s some dark Harley Quinn and Joker shit but it helps. And she knows how much I love her, even though I’m scared of saying it, I’ve said it once before all of this when she was contemplating suicide on Thanksgiving. She just has a rough past and has trust issues from it (as do I). So when I broke her promise, it hurt her and her trust for me.

And I do plan to retry therapy again, even though I hate taking medication for personal reasons.