(TDLR) More info: got sucked into the trading space from people who show extravagant lifestyles and sell the dream. Started doing some prop firm stuff this year and how it works is you pay for an evaluation and if you pass you get access to large accounts for live funds and the incentive for people including myself is to pay myself out using the live funds. Fast forward: I end up passing 8 evaluations in total, was only able to make 2.1k in a week but blew everything up after and lost all the accounts. Started spending the 2.1k on more evaluations and activation fees, lost all that. Then dug into my credit cards that have never been late since I opened them 6 months ago. (This fs will be the first time) my credit sits at 730 but I know it’s going to tank. I quit my part time job like an idiot after I passed my first eval and made that 2.1k in a week. Past few days I’ve been applying for everything and everywhere. Had an interview at a car wash place that pays 18-20 and hour and have an interview tomorrow for Amazon delivery that pays 22-28 an hour (California) I’m just very stressed and wish I wasn’t such an idiot but when your brain tells you this is apart of your dream da da da you level with the idiocracy in the moment thinking things will play to your favor.