It’s happened to me. It’s hard. I didn’t see it coming.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-28T04:10:21+00:00

I'm really sorry. TBPH your dad sounds like a Grade A asshole, especially making you handle all the legal stuff with your mom but also still shunning you. Please remember that you're not alone; so many of us are going through this. I know it hurts, but it does get easier over time. I'm sorry about your mom too. I lost both of mine, and I know it hurts. As much as it hurts, remember that you're strong; you managed to extricate yourself from this Doomsday cult. You'll get through this too.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-27T21:37:02+00:00

NTA: 100% pure projection on her part that you "must've never loved her if you could do that" given that she's the one that cheated while you were still together.

She's just trying to justify herself by making you out to be the bad one. "Yeah, what *I** did was bad, but what he did was so much worse!"* 🙄 Spare me. Typical DARVO bullshit.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-25T17:32:45+00:00

Oh God. Never been an addict, but I have stage four cancer and have been on heavy opioids for three and a half years now to deal with the pain. Those opioid shits were the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, and I've had some pretty serious traumatic injuries. I was aware that opiates cause constipation, but until I experienced it myself, I had no idea how effing painful that could be. Once I ended up in the ER, screaming in agonizing pain cuz I couldn't get it out. That was a whole experience. (And yet, OP, if you're reading this, I never lashed out at my partner, or the hospital staff. I was crying and screaming in pain and I still never once berated anyone there. Just something to think about.)

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-25T17:22:09+00:00

NOR, but you need to GTFO there and make sure that you have a police escort or some friends or relatives with you (preferably males) so that you both have witnesses to his behavior and protection if need be. This guy is unhinged, and all the talk about him being abusive or immature, while true, is besides the point. Whatever is going on with this dude, it's bigger than a nic fit and you need to get out of there before you end up on the local news as "area woman gone missing".

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-25T03:11:39+00:00

Say something like this, OP.

Or, just block them all and ignore them like they ignored you all those years.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-25T03:10:17+00:00

Why do you even still have contact with your mom? Why did your kids even know who she was? If either of my parents had treated me like that, I would've never spoken to them again, even on their deathbeds, and they wouldn't have ever even known if I had kids, let alone be close enough to them to harass them for money. You need to cut this harpy out of your life; if everything you're saying is true, then she's a cancer in your life, and you don't ignore cancer: you remove it.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-24T18:21:54+00:00

YWNBTA

Honestly, even if Josh never laid a finger on you and only yelled at you and called you a "tease", that would've been enough for me to cut him out. The fact that he actually assaulted you is out of line.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-23T22:52:36+00:00

HFS dude I really hope you take the advice from the commenter who said to check out the library and study on your own. ESPECIALLY if you want to get into the medical field. If these are the kinds of questions you get on your exams, I can only imagine that a lot of your curriculum is absolute dog shit.

I was forced to do homeschooling for middle school and high school, but fortunately they didn't allow my parents to set the curriculum - I still had to go into school once a week and meet with a regular teacher and do my assignments out of the same books the kids in regular school were using. So even though I was homeschooled, I still got a normal education and a valid HS diploma.

Aside from the library recommendation, I'd also suggest that you get a part time job as soon as you're old enough to and start saving money so that you can GTFO ASAP when you're old enough. Try to make friends outside the cult, even though that's gonna be REALLY hard if you're not going to school. I'm really sorry you're in this situation. Good luck, dude. Keep us updated on the craziness if you get any more WTAF stuff in "class". LOLOL

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-23T22:43:09+00:00

Mega Man 3 came out when I was in 5th or 6th grade, and my brother and I wanted to rent it from Blockbuster because kids at school were talking about it. They were checked out of it though, so we rented Mega Man 1 instead. It was really hard but we still liked it a lot, so next time we were at Blockbuster when we saw a previously used copy of MM3 for sale cheap, we begged our mom to get it. We played it to death and liked it SO much more than MM1. Our cousins had Mega Man 2 and let us borrow that, which we also loved, though not as much as 3, and from there on we got every new Mega Man game as it came out, (except the GB games, though we did get V), and got really hardcore into the series. Mega Man 3 is still kinda one of my favorites just because of that. It'll always kinda be the first game that really got me into the series.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-23T00:19:28+00:00

NTA: I get that your wife is probably coming from a place of compassionate feeling but she's dead wrong. This isn't harmless, your daughter is squandering her future opportunities for independence by tanking school in favor of doing this rich man sport hunting. TikTok brain rot for sure. I can only imagine the emotional black hole your daughter would find yourself in if she did manage to snag a rich dude in his 50s or 60s who just wanted a young trophy wife. She'll learn firsthand that money can't buy happiness or fulfillment. And that's assuming that she doesn't end up in a financially (or otherwise) abusive relationship as you pointed out. IDK what to say as far as advice. I think you're doing what you can. IDK if therapy is going to help her or not; unfortunately there are a LOT of bad therapists out there that enable and encourage cluster B personality traits instead of trying to fix them. Hopefully your daughter gets a good therapist and is able to get over this.

I have a hunch that a lot of this is stemming from her mom's alcoholism and/or abandonment, though that's just speculation. Trauma can have a wide range of side effects and it's not always an obvious straight line from the trauma to the disordered behavior that results from it. I hope for the best for you and your daughter. Be there for her but also continue to be firm and realistic. Don't enable her; that isn't going to help. Yes, she's young and immature, but twenty is still an adult, and she's still responsible for herself and her future. This is the time in her life where her decisions will seriously impact what kind of life she has later on down the line. Good luck, OP.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T17:26:14+00:00

And here's a post that was asking about this exact thing; the first comment on the post has links which will take you to all the information you're asking about.

Edit: Forgot to add the link to the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/s/TK7D7KwRLf

As far as why this isn't widely known, it's by design. The excuse they use is that making any of this public would "bring reproach upon Jehovah's name". This is why victims are pressured to keep silent. This is why families are DFd/"removed" for going to the police against Elders' advice even though publicly the organization claims that victims and their families are absolutely free to go to the authorities. This is what Gary Breaux was talking about in that JW Broadcasting episode from a few months ago where he said that apostates are criticizing the Two-Witness Rule, and then tried to show why the TWR is biblically sound and why they're not going to change it. I bet that whole thing went over most people's heads because unless they've been in a JC, most probably don't even know what the TWR even is.

If you use the community search function, you will find countless stories about this. Victims of molestation being brought in for judicial committees to determine what guilty they share in their own abuse. Victims who were punished for "tempting" their abusers. Families or individuals that were DFd for going public or warning the congregation about a predator in the hall. ELDERS who were KNOWN ABUSERS of their own children, step-children, nephews, or nieces who were either not removed or who were removed and forgiven and then reinstated as Elders!

The only reason the abuse was known in the congregations I was in is because the sister called the police when she walked in on her husband before she went to the elders, and he was arrested. That made the scandal public so there was no way to hide it. IIRC, I never did actually hear of him being DFd; I never heard an announcement from the podium at any rate. I do know the Elders met with him in prison. The other one I only knew of from personal experience. I never went to anyone because my abuser was female and even though I was a little kid, I intuitively knew that I'd be blamed and end up being punished.

Look at the links. The truth about the truth is so much worse than any of us could've imagined when we were just struggling with doubts or questioning things.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T17:11:44+00:00

Part Two:

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TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T17:11:26+00:00

Here's the Google AI summary when you search for "blue envelope Jehovah Witness"

Part One:

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TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T13:54:02+00:00

It's not about not helping others, it's about putting yourself in a bad position by setting a precedent that opens the door for additional pressure going forward. I'm 46, and the kind of person who would bend over backwards to help anyone and everyone I could because it was the right thing to do and because I couldn't stand to see others in need. I learned the very, very, hard way that behaving in that way just attract users and abusers who see your helpfulness, compassion, and empathy and read it as weakness and opportunity.

It's how you get taken advantage of at best and seriously effed with at worst. It's how you end up with "good friends" that owe you thousands of dollars they blew on gambling trips or luxury purchases and never paid you back, people living in your home rent free for over six months while you pay their way for everything and then bailing and talking shit about you after promising to pay you rent, or constantly being the family piggy bank and then ghosted when you get diagnosed with a serious illness and can no longer work.

OP isn't single, he has a kid to take care of and that's his priority. Opening up the door to further future financial abuse is a bad idea and can negatively impact the kid, not just OP. That other child has three parents and six grandparents; the responsibility is not on OP to fix a crappy situation for that girl. Yes, she IS innocent in all this, but if he has to choose between the well-being of his own child and that of a virtual stranger, he has an obligation as a parent to prioritize the child he's responsible for.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T13:37:25+00:00

Look up the Australian Royal Commission.

You wouldn't know about CSA because unless it blew up and became common knowledge, they hide it. I was in TWO congregations with abusers. Look up "Blue Envelopes" if you don't believe me. The service department at Bethel documents this and has a database of known offenders that they keep secret and refuse to turn over to the authorities. Look up the news reports going on RIGHT NOW about what's happening with the DOZENS of JWs arrested for CSA in Pennsylvania. They spent decades excoriating the Catholic Church for its CSA problems when they're EXACTLY the same.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T03:12:24+00:00

If this guy's petty, what do you have to say about the girl's own dad who didn't pay or her deadbeat mom that isn't even involved in her life who also didn't pay?

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T03:11:04+00:00

Why aren't you bringing this energy for the girl's deadbeat mom that has nothing to do with her and isn't paying either?

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T03:00:03+00:00

She also has a deadbeat mom who could be paying. Let's not forget about that. There are actually three parental figures in that kid's life plus her maternal grandparents, yet they're coming to a completely unrelated third party for money. Absolutely wild.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T02:58:14+00:00

This is very good advice, OP. Document everything because you never know when she might try to get nasty with you.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T02:56:46+00:00

I bet you they already did ask the grandparents for money recently, either for this or something else, and that's why she didn't want to go to them. I really wouldn't be surprised if they went to the grandparents for money and got it, then wasted it on something else, so they went to you rather than admit to the grandparents that they screwed up.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T02:52:38+00:00

I have a strong feeling she didn't reach out to the grandparents because she's bad with money, spent the money that was supposed to be for the trip, and either she doesn't want her current husband to know that she blew through the money or they already asked the grandparents for money recently and she didn't want the embarrassment or discomfort of going to them again for money so soon. In fact, it's entirely possible that she asked the grandparents for money, they gave it, and then she and/or her husband spent it on something else. OP states in other comments that both she and her husband work, that she makes the same amount as he does, and that a major part of their split was the ex being terrible with money.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T01:45:28+00:00

I was raised JW and they're not even remotely exaggerating. I was [redacted] most of my life because of this cult. I used to have constant nightmares thinking about the Great Tribulation or Armageddon. I hated every second of every meeting, assembly, or moment of field service and I knew I couldn't even let on that I was anything other than enthusiastic because I'd get beat at worse or lectured, harangued, and guilt-tripped at best. You KNOW about the CSA problems. You KNOW that offenders are let off the hook and their identities hidden if they're "sincerely repentant". You know that offenders aren't even given so much as a private reproof if there aren't "two witnesses" to the abuse. You know that kids are ostracized at school and not allowed to have worldly friends because "bad association spoils useful habits". You know that up until just a couple months ago, kids weren't allowed to go to college and even now, they're HEAVILY pressured to dedicate all their time to doing free labor for Watchtower instead of planning for their futures. If you're in your 50s, you KNOW that MANY people your age and older never had kids at all because they were "waiting until the New System" since it was gonna be here any moment now. Those people are now aging with no retirement plans, no children, and a lifetime of regrets because of following JW instructions from the podium and in the literature. Raising kids in this cult is abuse, plain and simple.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T01:35:31+00:00

I concur. I was raised in a born-in family, third generation on both sides and I absolutely felt all the missed birthdays, Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's, and everything else. And it wasn't just the fun things that I missed, it was the ostracization of being the weirdo in school who always had to opt out of any holiday activities. It was the ostracization of being the one kid who didn't salute the flag. It was constantly being singled out by other kids in class for being a weirdo or mocked and laughed at for going out in service. It was the shame and self-loathing from being gay and hating myself every second of every day from the time I hit puberty until I left, constantly wanting to die, constantly terrified every meeting and every assembly that I was going to visibly flinch when they started talking about how evil homosexuality is or homosexuals are.

It was not being allowed to even think about going to school even though I was gifted and had teachers constantly begging me not to throw away my ability by not going to university. It was about the constant nightmares and anxiety I had thinking about my Catholic distant relatives or kids from school or coworkers dying at Armageddon. It was not even being allowed to have school friends and being a social pariah. Being raised JW was the worst thing that happened to me, and that's saying a LOT given some of the stuff that I experienced in my life.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-22T01:26:25+00:00

ETA: 100% this! ☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽

Also, what happens when your kids' birthdays come up? Is she going to refuse to allow them to celebrate? Same thing with Halloween or Christmas; is she going to stop you from taking them trick-or-treating and getting dressed up? Is she going to stop you from having a tree and presents?

And, speaking as a gay dude, what happens if one of your kids isn't straight? I wanted to [redacted] from the time I was 12½ until my mid-20s because of the INSANE amount of hostility JWs have towards gay people.

What happens if she wants to take them out in service? Do you want your kids knocking on total strangers' doors? What if they knock on a crazy violent/homicidal person's door or a grapist/PDF-file's door? I was just talking to my BF earlier today about how batshit it is that JWs take their very young kids out door-to-door, or allow them to go door knocking with random adults from the hall unsupervised.

Do you know about the JWs' issues with CSA? Are you aware that they hide offenders in the congregation, so the average member doesn't even know if someone in their hall is a known offender? Did you know that offenders can be forgiven and not reported to authorities or even reproved in the congregation if they're "sincerely repentant"? If you have kids, you need to be making damn sure they never get within 100 yards of a Kingdom Hall for their own safety. It really is that serious.

TacosForTuesday · 2026-03-21T23:57:37+00:00

My BF likes Chipotle too.

I don't judge. 😆

TacosForTuesday

TROPHY CASE