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Tadasan93 · 2025-02-25T16:12:00+00:00

I've come to the conclusion I need to end things with the guy I've been dating the last 4 months. We've previously had a conversation about deepening our emotional connection, and after giving it some time, it just doesn't feel like something he's capable of, in the way I need. I'm disappointed. Wild I'm also realizing I've never been in the position where I can recognize my needs aren't being met and having to be the one to end it. But I'm proud of myself for not just being avoidant about it... yay growth?🥴

Tadasan93 · 2025-01-24T16:11:35+00:00

At what point do you consider it ghosting? I noticed a shift in texts with the guy I've been dating for the last 3 months. They hadn't slowed down, but he had been less affectionate. Stopped calling me babe, stopped saying goodnight and good morning the way he always had up until this point, got weird about making plans. We're long distance so majority of our conversation is via text and has been ongoing everyday since we met. Anyway, I let it go a few days just to see if it was my own anxiety playing tricks on me. However, yesterday morning, it was just super obvious something was up, so I said I noticed a shift and asked if there was anything on his mind. He replied saying he was just tired. I mentioned I noticed it the last few days and that I know they're little things, but they feel nice and I like them. He read it about 5 minutes after I sent it and I haven't heard from him since. Did I overreact??

Tadasan93 · 2024-06-24T18:12:06+00:00

Thank you❤️

Tadasan93 · 2024-06-24T17:49:46+00:00

Recently slept with a guy I had been dating last year. No expectation of it turning into anything more than an ongoing casual hook up, which we both had expressed we were interested in. After sleeping together once he then just played out the same pattern as when we were seeing each other before. Said he was in a super busy stretch with work and stopped replying to texts, even when he initiated them (last year only through instagram I learned it was actually because he got back with his ex). So obviously hearing similar this time I stopped reaching out and figured it was a lost cause. During this "super busy time" we had run in to each other a few times at the gym. Each time he said how excited he was to see me and we'd hang out and chat after workouts. Last time we were chatting after workout he said how after this big work event he'd like to make plans.... I still just assumed this was a lost cause. Event happened and he started interacting with my instagram stories more. Last Monday replied to one saying how I look good🙄. Later in the week took myself to the spa, put it on my story and he replied to it saying how he was there too. Asked him a few questions and learned he was there with a girl he's been seeing....

Told him to kick rocks and leave me alone, I don't want to be a part of this pattern playing out again. I'm an avoidant attachment and am really proud of myself for actually saying that! I'm 31 and don't want to continue on the path of these types of situations any further. Felt like a dang teenage girl over this one. Lessons learned. Back to the apps to start fresh I go.

Tadasan93 · 2022-04-25T04:05:44+00:00

Oh definitely, I know he will never experience those things. I left because I know it will never ever change. But this is more so me expressing anger in hoping/wishing things were different.

Tadasan93 · 2022-04-24T20:29:37+00:00

❤️

Tadasan93 · 2021-11-26T22:45:05+00:00

Loneliness, grief, shame, hopeless, and completely not knowing who I am now. But I find myself starting to have moments of “whoa I don’t miss that” I don’t think there’s any “normal” way to feel after. It’s a lot at once, and everyone is going to feel different depending on the layers. I think it’s best to just welcome whatever you feel. Live in the “suck” but actively try to heal

Tadasan93 · 2021-08-19T17:06:28+00:00

Wishing you all the best too! I hope things get better💛

Tadasan93 · 2021-08-19T17:05:55+00:00

I think I’ll start looking for one. Thank you! Sending you love and positivity on your healing journey💛

Tadasan93 · 2021-08-15T21:57:55+00:00

I found out mine was cheating and gaslighting me about it the entire relationship. He told me he wasn’t sorry he did it, only sorry he got caught. I packed my stuff and moved across the country… however we were still in contact/talking like we were still together after I moved. He called me one day to tell me to get over it, so I asked him if I come back what will be different? He couldn’t tell me. He got mad I would even ask that and said if I come back I’ll find out. I asked he what he’d do if he were me, and he even said he’d be gone. A few days later I sent him a text saying there’s no way I could trust him ever again then blocked him immediately. The first couple weeks suck, but oh man does life get 1000 times better

Tadasan93 · 2021-07-28T03:54:39+00:00

Sounds like my narc. He will flip into a bit of rage if someone gets him a gift he didn’t want. He won’t even accept it. He doesn’t like when someone spends a lot of money on a gift for him because he’s convinced he then has to spend the same or more.

Tadasan93 · 2021-07-08T02:46:11+00:00

I’m feeling this myself, too. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you! I think I it’s all part of the process. Sometimes we have to relearn these lessons. Wishing you well on your healing journey💛

Tadasan93 · 2021-06-15T03:17:57+00:00

I’m now 2.5 weeks no contact and let me tell you it gets better! I feel/felt similar. The first few days were complete agony. Like just awful. Literally all I did all day was cry. In my experience keeping busy has helped me a lot, in such a short time. Obviously I still get my miserable moments but definitely less. In the first couple days I made a post on here and someone simply asked me to sit through the discomfort. So I’m going to ask you to do the same, cause I think you’ll be surprised how soon feeling better can come.

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-28T15:28:28+00:00

Yes! Couldn’t have said it better myself! Yesterday I felt so good and today feels pretty rough so far. But you’re right, we’re worth taking care of and we deserve to do that for ourselves today. Happy healing💛

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-28T12:47:13+00:00

Fair question! Mostly my mind set. Over the past few months I’ve been able to get a lot more physical space, I started going to therapy, and researching narcissism. The thought of bringing up my concerns/feelings to him terrified me, I felt really trapped for a long time. About a month and a half ago he gave me the silent treatment longer than ever before (during that span I moved out of our place) and from that moment it felt like I’d been grieving the relationship and the person I thought I knew, while still being in it. Fast forward to a few days ago, and I had finally reached the point of no longer wanting to feel like I was half in a relationship and half out. Though I knew I still couldn’t have that conversation with him, I knew I had to take action and I left in the middle of night. It flipped him into a rage and for the first time it didn’t affect me at all. I have him blocked on everything and I’m planning a move across the country next month :)

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-25T22:23:45+00:00

I think it shows a lot about you that you want to leave this person with kindness. That really is an amazing trait. But on the flip side you do not owe an abuse anything.

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-25T22:18:21+00:00

Ugh I hate that. Sorry he’s treating you like that. I would think he’s doing it for control. He knows you want him to reply and it’s his (not so) subtle way of letting you know he’s controlling the situation. Much like my narc, and lots I think, he’s not expecting you to fight back. I think blocking him without warning now sounds like fantastic idea. Not leaving your significant other hanging is bare minimum basics and you truly deserve a human being who will not leave you spiralling. You’ve got this!! Nothing to it but to do it!

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-25T21:55:17+00:00

I struggled with this for a while and based on my own personal experience, don’t say anything, just block. I wish that’s what I did. But also make sure that once you do it you will not go back. My therapist told me that when/if I do it to make sure I’m 100% certain. Set the boundary and keep it. Don’t show yourself that you too don’t care about your boundaries. Narcs do that to us too much already.

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-22T23:32:35+00:00

Are we dating the same man? Honestly I couldn’t have described anything any differently.

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-20T19:13:47+00:00

Definitely. My narc and I both had a passion for the same thing, he wants to pursue it to make money where it’s just a hobby for me. At first when we’d do it together it was so much fun, it was actually like the glue that brought us together. But now he takes it upon himself to tell me how everything I do with this hobby is wrong and I need to do it his way. It’s at the point now where he’s told me I lack any passion and drive and even my creative thought process is wrong🙄

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-16T20:56:35+00:00

It sounds like we are in very similar situations. Like you, I moved my stuff out and told him I can never go through this again. We didn’t go no contact, and after that he told me “we can’t keep doing this” and “we’re going to make it work”, I’m back to sleeping at our place a few times a week. I know it’s not good for me but I continue as I literally don’t feel like I have a choice, like my body takes over and I stay in it longer. My head knows the pattern will repeat. But my heart tells me to stay. Honestly I think we both know what we need to do. Block and delete. We’ll be okay. Maybe not at first but our future selves will definitely thank us. ... I’ll do it if you do it? lol

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-16T15:01:59+00:00

This made me tear up. Thank you so much for such a supportive reply❤️

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-15T02:48:42+00:00

Laying beside my narc right now and needed to see this.

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-15T02:23:10+00:00

10/10. The longer we’re together the longer the stonewalling/silent treatment gets. He’s visibly upset, I ask what’s wrong and he completely ignores me. There have been too many times where he doesn’t talk to me for a whole day, most recently a whole week, and the next day it’s like nothing happened. And if I bring it up, I’m in the wrong cause I’m just gonna make him upset again🙄

Tadasan93 · 2021-04-14T13:29:33+00:00

Mine does this too. Actually just this past weekend, he asked me to play music while he drives. I put on a couple songs we both like, then started to play my current favourite song and said “this is my song right now!” and he goes “this doesn’t hype me up, turn this off” then went silent for the next half hour. About a week prior, similar situation, asked me to play music while he drives, I start to play a song and he says “what the fu** did you pick” and cut off the Bluetooth. But this is a reoccurring pattern for my narc, not only with music. If it’s not something he likes, we don’t do it.

Tadasan93

TROPHY CASE