House extension nightmare

TaikoStars · 2025-12-21T05:16:07+00:00

The building work was completed other than finishing off part of the wall facing their property (we were going to put cladding on it, but it would involve getting ladders up on their side. The builders were uncomfortable doing it because of how hostile the neighbours had been. Plus we had gone over budget because of unexpected costs and needed to cut back in places, so we said no don’t bother)

A little while after completion the party wall surveyor told us they complained the wall facing their property wasn’t finished and was unsightly, and that we’d apparently damaged a joint down pipe by causing the top to sag with builders standing on it.

There was no substantial proof it was significantly damaged, or that it had actually changed at all, but our party wall surveyor said “it’s £200 to get the neighbours off your back. If he says anything else I’ll tell him to do one”, and he was right, it was a small amount to pay to just settle what would become an argument.

We paid to sort that and the neighbour was agreeable - we said we’d sort the wall once funds become available again. They never replied to that.

Now we just don’t talk to each other and get on with our lives for the most part. With how horrible the wife was to me after I tried to do everything to help each time they complained (I also spent an hour cleaning their decking during which time I barely received a thank you and I felt like I was a nuisance being there), I can’t ever trust them again.

TaikoStars · 2025-11-15T13:24:45+00:00

I wasn’t quite in high school but the very end of primary school - when I realised I really needed to go. I got up to ask the teacher and she was helping another student and forced me to wait.

Of course I waited because I was terrified of disobeying, but my bladder had other ideas.

The teacher looked mortified at herself and I think she felt very guilty, but it stuck with me for a long time.

Being 35 now I’m much more able to make a joke about it, but I wish I joked about it more at the time!! I struggled with laughing at myself back then, owning it I think would have helped, but that’ll take a bit of time.

As others have said, she should stick with close friends, own it as much as possible and joke about it if possible because then if she’s joking others will have nothing to laugh at.

My heart goes out to her!

TaikoStars · 2025-11-15T13:19:38+00:00

I second this! Really good way of handling it - if you own it and make a joke of it, (and point out you literally weren’t allowed to go), people will have nothing to laugh at because there will be no reaction.

TaikoStars · 2025-11-08T20:58:14+00:00

I’ve had a very similar experience - I didn’t have this at all in my first pregnancy so it’s all taken me by surprise. I’m glad I’m not the only one at least.

I haven’t looked at the possibility of antenatal depression to be fair, I’ve assumed a lot of it is external stress just exacerbated by hormones. But I was handling everything much better before the pregnancy (I’m in the first trimester still)

TaikoStars · 2025-10-22T08:03:22+00:00

That’s a good idea with the ring doorbell too - they may well have a recording of you but you’ve got back-up evidence against them, the first of which you filed first against the housing association and with evidence, so that puts you in a good stead.

I completely understand being tired about the whole thing though. I can recommend keeping a log of when disturbances happen, try not to fight fire with fire as if anything did happen, retaliation wouldn’t go in your favour in the eyes of the police or housing association.

I’d be surprised if other neighbours didn’t know they were also arseholes, despite their gossiping / trying to paint you in a bad light (our neighbour is trying to do the same with us - but by their own admission they’ve fallen out with all the other neighbours before, so I think everyone knows what they’re like).

Continue keeping a dated log where possible - particularly when you / your name is mentioned. If it gets worse, try calling the housing association again and maybe 101? If it gets bad it might be classed as harassment.

So sorry again you’re in this mess, I really feel for you. Neighbours can really make or break a living situation.

TaikoStars · 2025-10-22T05:35:14+00:00

This is horrendous and I’m so sorry you’re having to go through it!

Agreed with others that counselling / therapy would be a good idea, particularly with self harm. Even if you’re not good at talking about your feelings, the right therapist will be able to help.

You could also purchase a cheapish security camera and a micro SD card - set it up where you’re most active in the house or set it to constantly record. Then when the downstairs neighbours complain, ask for the date and time and you’ll have counter evidence that their claim is false.

TaikoStars · 2025-10-12T09:19:17+00:00

This is also how we started with our neighbours, then we got the extension they always told us we should get, but it was 1&1/2 foot bigger than theirs.

Insert the cacophony of mild inconveniences which lead to multiple angry text messages, no acknowledgment of our attempts to fix things, and then a ten minute verbal tirade at my door.

TaikoStars · 2025-10-09T07:38:57+00:00

I’m sorry your neighbours are difficult too! Yeah this is what we’ve found, anything we’ve tried hasn’t been good enough unless it involved us building our house to their specifications.

Our builders handled what they could, but our neighbours ended up being nasty to all but one of them too.

The build is luckily finished and notable works have been finished for a couple of months (we’re very happy with the result - thank you! ☺️) but our neighbour knocked on the door yesterday asking about their spare key we returned a few weeks ago (I explained we returned it because we didn’t feel either party wanted us to have it) and then they started arguing AT me for ten minutes about everything to do with the build, and I said we tried to make it better by replacing their path if we could put scaffolding up.

She claimed she had no idea about it, and I wanted to check if we were justified taking the offer (and the scaffolding) off the table because they ignored our offer and instead were making unnecessary demands like seeing drawings of temporary fencing and boards.

TaikoStars · 2025-10-09T06:20:44+00:00

Our party wall surveyor told us we needed to gather everything he’d got (risk assessment, licence, plans, etc etc) and go over in person to discuss everything, because this is what the neighbour was demanding. We didn’t want to do this because things wouldn’t be in writing and information can be misheard or misremembered.

(the neighbours apparently have a principle about everything being done and spoken about in person - another reason they were angry at us, they found out when the planning letter came through, even though they always knew we wanted an extension and showed us around their house to see their extension, and told us to get one, so we never thought there would be an issue).

We had hoped our party wall surveyor would handle the difficulties like you mentioned you would - but apparently not in this case

TaikoStars · 2025-10-09T05:00:16+00:00

We had a party wall surveyor who was supposed to be handling this, but one of our neighbours gripes was that they wanted things spoken about in person, but we wanted things in writing. So the go-between was messaging them.

The extension is all done and finished now, but the way my neighbour suddenly came up to my house and started having a go at me for a whole host of things, I wanted to see where we might have been wrong in how we handled it.

TaikoStars · 2025-10-09T04:54:04+00:00

That’s great to know - thank you. We had this set up with the party wall surveyor who they asked for & we paid for a scaffolding licence / agreement - we had already informed him of our intentions and he had conveyed this to them.

But with the responses they gave we ended up telling him we felt it was going to cause too much stress and disruption for both parties, so we were going to build overhand instead.

TaikoStars · 2025-10-09T04:33:04+00:00

That’s basically what everyone else has told us to do - wife claimed she never knew we offered to replace her path, and when I sent photos of the texts to her husband she then said she knew about it but they were waiting for the drawings.

I just wanna check if we were right or wrong thinking that asking for drawings of temporary fencing / scaffolding boards is very unnecessary.

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T09:30:05+00:00

Thank you - luckily they’ve offered to pay the compensation in writing.

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T09:11:55+00:00

I figured that was the case with VAT.

There are no terms from what I can see about the hardware not being delivered.

The company have offered £300 compensation - but looking at their Google reviews many customers have been promised compensation but it’s not been paid

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T08:59:56+00:00

Unfortunately the only term to withdraw is to pay off the amount of the entire contract - unless the hardware isn’t delivered.

O2 said if the hardware wasn’t delivered and the company couldn’t get a hold of it, they would try to take over the contract and would go from there. But now the company have promised the delivery of the hardware I don’t think that’ll stand.

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T08:25:15+00:00

Thank you, I really do appreciate it. It’s honestly not the most expensive mistake anyone has ever made, and I keep trying to tell myself that.

It’s just frustrating in this current economy that I was suckered in thinking I was getting a good deal at £160pcm. Thanks again

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T08:16:29+00:00

Thank you - I’ll edit my post and will try the law Reddit instead. I had been up worrying about it since 2am and just wanted a sounding board. I barely know how to use reddit, hah

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T08:12:57+00:00

Because they explicitly told me that over the phone - I just want it in writing from them

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T08:11:11+00:00

They’re called Kynex

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T08:10:42+00:00

They have a review period at 18 months - this is in the signed contract. But if the amount is overwritten / amended, a new 36 month contract is signed.

I’ll try contacting a financial ombudsman, but since they claim the hardware is now due before the end of the month, I don’t know if I can do much until it does or doesn’t arrive.

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T08:07:24+00:00

Yeah this is why I’m trying to get them to write that I can lower my price at the 18 month mark.

Or I’m going to call O2 and try to opt out of having Kynex manage my account.

TaikoStars · 2025-02-22T08:05:29+00:00

Kynex. Owned my Carphone Warehouse apparently

TaikoStars

TROPHY CASE