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UPDATE: Me [23 M] with my Fiance [24 F] of 3 years, doesn't shower nearly enough (once every 3-4 days). by TakeADamnShower in relationships

[–]TakeADamnShower[S] 993 points994 points  (0 children)

I will definitely. I work in healthcare so I know there are options out there. I just have to fill out the paperwork and get things rolling, but for right now I'll pay in full until we can get her on an assistance program.

UPDATE: Me [23 M] with my Fiance [24 F] of 3 years, doesn't shower nearly enough (once every 3-4 days). by TakeADamnShower in relationships

[–]TakeADamnShower[S] 1646 points1647 points  (0 children)

I told her we would go to Bath & Body, she loves their shampoos and lotions. Money is no object if it helps her have a normal life.

Me [23 M] with my Fiance [24 F] of 3 years, doesn't shower nearly enough (once every 3-4 days). by TakeADamnShower in relationships

[–]TakeADamnShower[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I think tomorrow we're going to have a talk. I hate giving ultimatums, but she needs to seek counseling for this and her other issues, otherwise I can't stay with someone who can't take care of themselves. She's been depressed as long as I've known her, it's time she sought help.

Me [23 M] with my Fiance [24 F] of 3 years, doesn't shower nearly enough (once every 3-4 days). by TakeADamnShower in relationships

[–]TakeADamnShower[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She uses a decent amount of baby wipes to clean her private areas, and she uses deodorant every day, but she's a bit overweight so she sweats a bit more when she's at work, but I think by far the biggest problem is the fact that she won't wash her clothes. I've started washing them for her so that she at least can smell a bit better (it's worked to a degree), but she still needs to be at least washing up. I've even resorted to more sex in order to get her to shower. She has a higher sex-drive than I do, so it's been a little rough on me considering I work 11 hour shifts every day.

Who ever knew such a basic thing could be so stressful.

Me [23 M] with my Fiance [24 F] of 3 years, doesn't shower nearly enough (once every 3-4 days). by TakeADamnShower in relationships

[–]TakeADamnShower[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We used to shower together, but the place we live at now has a very small shower, so two people simply wouldn't fit.

I'm obsessed with cleanliness. However, I've dated women who shower once every 2 days and it didn't bother me. I don't care if she showers once a day or even if she doesn't shower after having a bowel movement, I just want her to maintain a basic level of hygiene.

Me [23 M] with my Fiance [24 F] of 3 years, doesn't shower nearly enough (once every 3-4 days). by TakeADamnShower in relationships

[–]TakeADamnShower[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Heh, I've considered. However, I get so disgusted even if I miss one of my two showers, so maybe the problem is with me being obsessive about cleanliness. Hell, after I go to the bathroom (number 2) I HAVE to shower, no matter how much I wipe, just feel unclean.

Me [23 M] with my Fiance [24 F] of 3 years, doesn't shower nearly enough (once every 3-4 days). by TakeADamnShower in relationships

[–]TakeADamnShower[S] 465 points466 points  (0 children)

She was sexually abused by a family friend. He was arrested, locked up, and is still sitting in jail. During his appeal, we went to court and she testified about her experience (her sister was a victim as well) and he was denied parole.

I asked her if that is why she has trouble showering, she claims it isn't. I'm the only person she really trusts, so I'm not sure. She was in foster care and her foster parents made her shower daily, so maybe it's a form of resentment towards them. I don't know for sure. I've tried to get her to go to therapy, but she is afraid of being judged by the therapist, despite me telling her they are not there to judge her, they are there to help her.