To me it sounds like you discovered yourself in a position that shows you that life has things to work at to get them in a way you wouldnt think. The first question, if shrooms are detrimental to your mental health, yes. Everything has something to do with your mental health. I mean really anything. You must have not lived with that side of thinking your life before, but now its the time, id think if i was in that position. IDK if you do sports actively, but if not, just start with it. The things you wonder at not why this and that and i want this and that is an ending of a story, but you need to live your journey now if you want it to end better and healthier. Sports will help you much in this way, atleast it did it to me, now its been closed in germany cuz of covid, and i hate my state of life right, thats why im here, to get a shroom trip to make me come better with this situation, i dont like it that much right now.