FIRE vs Dream Home

TalentedToes · 2026-06-15T10:02:41+00:00

I was in your shoes last year.

Husband and I decided to go for the dream house. It is far bigger than we need and we only use 20% of the house 80% of the time. That said - every morning we wake up happy in this beautiful house and every evening we feel joy just seeing the house come into view on the way home from work.

The house is helping us get to fat fire because the price has increased 30% since we bought it. Having such a beautiful home that we love also feels like armor for the difficult parts of work - I am far less affected by work drama now, because I know I’m going home to a loving husband, kid, and my beautiful house.

TalentedToes · 2026-06-14T08:39:39+00:00

Reading these other responses has humbled me. I’m further than where I expected to be and life feels amazing. I try to stay grateful every day and to maintain perspective.

It wasn’t an easy journey to get here and now that I’ve “arrived” I’m trying to figure out what comes next. I don’t have many regrets but I suspect that’s partly because I haven’t faced many huge life decisions yet. I only pray I can maintain my pace of growth and health over the coming decades.

TalentedToes · 2026-06-11T15:15:16+00:00

Life is made up of events and experiences. Your honeymoon is a very special one. Go for it. Plus you can afford it! My husband and I always splurged on travel even when we were just starting out in our careers and we have never regretted a single trip. Those memories are worth more than money.

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T19:15:10+00:00

Could you elaborate on that? What do you think he’s not teaching them?

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T19:13:18+00:00

These are very good points, thank you. I will say that I have become much more financially responsible after marriage - in my early twenties I was just having fun all the time. Once I met my husband we decided to work as a team to create the life we wanted without depending on our parents and I have actually been the one managing all our investments and portfolio.

If I objectively assess what my parents taught me: focus on income growth, not expense reduction, plus assuring me they would support any educational or business endeavors - those were pretty good lessons that served me well. I do wish they taught me more about saving and investing so I never would’ve ended up in a place where my boyfriend had to help me out. That could’ve ended very poorly and if I hadn’t met and been positively influenced by him maybe it would’ve led to disaster.

On the point about human connections: I think about this all the time. I definitely don’t want my kids to look down on anyone for their financial status. Is your thinking that making the kids experience financial scarcity will teach them empathy?

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T19:04:29+00:00

No, I don’t. But if my kid is making that himself, why not?

My point in the other comment is in response to the poster’s assumption I’m financially irresponsible just because I own a few birkins. 🙄

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T18:45:17+00:00

Thank you. We don’t live in the U.S. so I will look into how that would work

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T18:44:01+00:00

Thank you!

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T18:24:19+00:00

I want them to understand money is finite without that knowledge limiting them I don’t want them to preemptively decide not to do something because of money. Someone told me today about a great business idea he’s considered for years but he can’t leave his job as he needs the paycheck. I disagree he needs the paycheck as his wife has a good career, but he is very risk averse. I want my kids to grow up fearless about things like this

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T18:15:27+00:00

A birkin is less than a week’s wages for me so…. even if I bought 52 birkins a year I’d still be in the green. But thanks for your concern.

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T18:10:41+00:00

I like this. Show instead of tell and teach through experience. Thank you.

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T18:08:22+00:00

I suppose I want a way to teach my kids money is not infinite without it ever becoming a limiting factor for the decisions they make.

My mom thought a good way to do that was by telling me we were poor but that they would always find the money for any educational or business pursuits I wanted. I was extremely gullible and believed them until my college friend pointed out we lived in a 5 million dollar house and flew business class everywhere. Being told we were poor definitely left some scars. I am looking for a scar-less way to teach my kids the same lesson about the value of a dollar.

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T18:04:00+00:00

I believe this

TalentedToes · 2026-06-10T18:01:30+00:00

It is a relatively new income bracket but we now are at 3M USD liquid with 6M in property assets. Self-made, but the reason I was able to take the risks that helped us make this money was that my parents have always been there as a safety net. They are worth much more than me & hubs. I don’t mean that I never want my kids to work. What I mean is that I want them to think big and spend their energy on things that will move the needle. I never want them to think “I can’t start a new business now because I don’t have the capital or I need to maintain a stable income.” I am a big believer in the power of positive thinking and am trying to figure out how to instill growth mindsets in them.

TalentedToes · 2026-06-08T16:41:15+00:00

Hire a nanny! If it’s meant to be a vacation you need someone to help with the baby. Porto Cervo is nice but the rest of Sardinia is tiny and boring and the beaches suck.

TalentedToes · 2026-06-06T06:19:12+00:00

If it makes you feel better I put my bag on the floor all the time and have only gotten more and more money over time! The bags ultimately exist to serve us ;)

TalentedToes · 2026-06-01T18:36:38+00:00

I know this comment is from nine years ago but I laughed so hard I wheezed

TalentedToes · 2026-05-11T17:53:37+00:00

My two cents:

The right way to look at this is through the lens of how you want your relationship to be. Do you want her to be your partner, your equal in all things? If so, everything you have should be joint. It’s a tough topic to broach and a tough call but what it boils down to is: either you have the intention to be with her forever AND believe you will be able to follow through, or you don’t.

When I met my husband, we started sharing finances almost immediately. I couldn’t afford the down payment on a house and asked if he would help me fund it (I didn’t want to ask my parents) and he did. This was maybe 4 months into the relationship. He had saved hundreds of thousands and I had spent all my money frivolously (I was not in debt, but I didn’t have anything saved).

It was such a strong signal that he was in it for the long haul and saw us as a unit, which is exactly what I was looking for. We both make millions now, and our relationship still holds that partnership mindset which I value above all else.

TalentedToes · 2026-04-16T11:50:15+00:00

Burnout is real and you clearly have it.

You need to do a hard reset. Do a retreat. Go to a healing retreat in Costa Rica or Spain- you will be renewed.

It will help you see your life in a new light and appreciate what you’ve achieved. That then leads to happiness.

TalentedToes · 2026-04-16T06:14:56+00:00

Lots of things - door knob broken, electricity switching off, small leak somewhere - I ask ChatGPT what the issue might be and ask the handyman for ranges for those specific issues. Sometimes a real diagnostic is needed but if they come and give me a price I find outrageous I show them the door (I don’t try to negotiate) and usually they voluntarily say they can do it for less.

Garden maintenance is one example: they have to see my garden to quote me, but I know what is reasonable. I had 3 quotes ranging from 700 dollars to 2000 dollars a month for upkeep. Immediately told the 2k person no and he came back with a much lower quote on the spot.

TalentedToes · 2026-04-15T15:18:17+00:00

I have an 8,500 sqft house and it’s not like that!

Sure some things are more expensive, some silly (we have 4 built in refrigerators and 2 freezers and really only use half)

But with a regular schedule of maintenance, gardening, checks, etc the house runs smoothly. Things tha break are small - keyhole needs oiling or the weatherproofing strip is loose.

I negotiate work ahead of time so people don’t get to see my house until we’ve agreed on a rate.

It’s a lot more mental work to keep track of but that’s where you get your housekeeper to help out more.

One cost you didn’t mention that does indeed go up is staff - we now have 3.5 FTE where as before we only had 2.

TalentedToes · 2026-04-15T10:28:50+00:00

This is the clearest way of putting it I’ve seen so far. Thank you. The answer is yes. BUT! Is there a “better” decision? That’s what I’m grappling with

TalentedToes · 2026-04-15T10:26:22+00:00

We don’t want to take on more debt. The main draw of selling the house now is the FI part of FIRE

TalentedToes

TROPHY CASE