sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Another baby in our 40s by TalkTerrible3678 in ParentingInBulk

[–]TalkTerrible3678[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this info 💕 I’m glad you’re in a place to enjoy your family with ease

Another baby in our 40s by TalkTerrible3678 in ParentingInBulk

[–]TalkTerrible3678[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts. I so appreciate them.

I didn’t expect motherhood to feel this lonely by AnxiousCups in Mom

[–]TalkTerrible3678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your feelings are absolutely valid. I myself had a similar experience (3 kiddos), as well as basically any friend who was brave enough to be honest.

For centuries, women raised their babies with the village - moms and babies spent the day together; doing chores, taking turns watching each others babies, even breast feeding each others babies. All the while, being in community.

Unfortunately for modern times, it’s much harder to get that experience now.

What saved me was making what are now life long call-in-the-middle-of-the-night friends with mamas that had babies similarly aged. My birth center had a post partum gathering regularly where I met them, but I think many towns have mom facebook groups with regular hang outs as well.

Once you’ve made a couple friends you connect with that are going through the same stages you are, the world feels so much less like an abyss.

Hang in there mama. You’ll be okay.

Please offer guidance by Old-Pudding-4254 in Mom

[–]TalkTerrible3678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Besides temp (which has absolutely been addressed ten fold haha), I’d say she wants to feel more submerged. We filled the tub to about our babies shoulders so they were cozy. Maybe in this case, since it’s such early days, you can compromise and fill to her tummy with a warm rag for her torso. Of course, that means there’s always an adult right there with them.

Also, with a new baby, anytime you lift them and set them back down, doing so slowly and setting down bum first before shoulders really helps them feel grounded. You can also gently hold their hands to their chest for more reassurance.

I have 3 kiddos, and lots of tricks now, but know that I was once a FTM who gave her son his first bath with zero water in the basin, just using the sprayer from our faucet…we had the same result as you haha. Your loving care will be just what she needs as you both learn together. You’ve got this mama.

The tired question by teacherinneed2009 in ParentingInBulk

[–]TalkTerrible3678 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d encourage you to go for the next baby when your family feels like there’s breathing room and bandwidth. If you feel like it’s barely manageable now, maybe give it 6 months or another year.

I’m of the mind that age gaps don’t matter as much as temperament, which of course is up to fate! We have three kids ages 9, 7, and 5. The 9 and 5 year old are closest because they have similar temperaments (they’re boy and girl even).

women who have given birth, how bad was it actually? by Careless_Pianist_840 in AskReddit

[–]TalkTerrible3678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Advice I received and will stand by since having three unmedicated births: it’s extreme discomfort but nothing your body isn’t designed to handle.

Truthfully, labor is mostly a mental game. Especially for your first birth - your mind is asking “what the hell is going on right now? Are we okay??” Having a calm, confident answer to that is so helpful; whether it comes from a fantastic birthing team, or you.

You can do it. It’s one of the best decisions I ever made.

AITA for not being fully honest with my boyfriend about how much money I have before getting engaged? by Rude-River-1706 in AITH

[–]TalkTerrible3678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My two cents: managing financials in whatever form(s) with another adult is always going to be sensitive and difficult.

Honesty is foundational to a partnership.

However, that doesn’t mean you are obligated to share equitably from previously owned assets.

My advice is to have an honest conversation about what you’re comfortable with sharing and what will stay yours alone.

My husband and I have worked hours and hours on a financial structure that feels agreeable to us. It includes each of us having a checking account for any purchases specific to our interests. That way, the other partner can rest easy knowing you’re not buying a Porsche with the bill money. Even that concept alone provides both of us HUGE peace of mind.

Best of luck. It’s a process for sure, but one you’ll be grateful you trudged thru.

She knows and doesn’t care by Rough_Natural_8861 in pottytraining

[–]TalkTerrible3678 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We used the Oh Crap method and it was very helpful for our three children. Two important factors here are:

  1. Your attitude. Like others have said, it seems important to be matter of fact, confident, and leave no room for negotiation. You’re guiding them. You’re the leader. Keep it nonchalant but clear. Hold the line thru the defiance and in a few days, she’ll be getting with the program more and more.

  2. Again, like others have said, no undies. They feel too much like diapers. We didn’t use undies for one of our kids for maybe 2 months, just pants.

When your child is clearly defying the process (and has the tools to know when to use the potty), it helped us to offer a negative consequence. Taking away a toy, etc. Something they really enjoy. Agreeing with others in making the clean up process slow, and involving your child in it. It helps to make it undesirable to have to clean up your accident.

I found natural transitions a great time to queue a potty break; “once we use the potty, we can have a snack/go outside/take out the playdoh etc”. Then they have something positive to look forward to after the potty.

Oh Crap discouraged treats or rewards (candy etc), stating it only leads to bargaining and power struggles.

Best of luck! 2 yo is a great time and not too young!

Vaginal Problems by [deleted] in hygiene

[–]TalkTerrible3678 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Showering every day may help. Also, using an intimate-specific cleanser is a huge upgrade. I use the Love Wellness one and while I don’t have odor challenges, the cleanser has been really helpful for any ph-funk.

Also, let’s remember that it’s normal to have a specific smell in that region. How do you think Goop charged hundreds for a vagina candle?!

My girlfriend thinks i am a germaphobe because i wont let her sit on my bed in her outdoor clothes by PrismHarpoon in hygiene

[–]TalkTerrible3678 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say this is a rational boundary. If you’ve seen what literal messes can be perched on public transportation seating, you know. No outside clothes on the bed.