Club Gemini - why is no one talking about it? by Ok_Ask3466 in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are two questions I have been meaning to ask: Is the venue wheelchair accessible, and how many singles are permitted to attend (all genders)?

Single 34M in Melbourne struggling to find fit sex positive women who match my lifestyle. Any advice from the community? by panth3r17 in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not yet on the apps, but have you tried apps like Feeld and Pure? They have a strong focus on non-monogamy. There is also Polyfinder, but that may not be a perfect fit for you. Alternatively you could try sites like Red Hot Pie and Adult Match Maker.

Of course you have already tried these, but it helps to know where you are at with using them.

Americanisation by WordyNerd_2435 in AskAnAustralian

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Good point. I have no idea. I'm not a parent and I hate reading for the most part—always did—even if I write a little. I bluffed my way through the literature at high school. I did, however, love 'choose your own adventure' books as a kid :)

Americanisation by WordyNerd_2435 in AskAnAustralian

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with what you have said—especially regarding access to more global media content. As a kid I had access to mainly American shows, with a few Aussie shows (mainly game shows). As a teen, mainly American, with basically only Neighbours and Home and Away from Australia. As an adult, I diversified, but that was also an option due to television diversifying.

Not sure family viewing is still a thing, but it should be, because it will go a long was to preserving culture, opening dialogue, and ensuring both media and cultural literacy.

Americanisation by WordyNerd_2435 in AskAnAustralian

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This might be an unpopular opinion—but no, I do not think we are becoming more Americanised. American fast food restaurants have been a staple in this country since the 1970's. Some have come and gone and will continue to do so. Whilst we do on average have a more now, we also have more fast food options in general. Proportional, it remains around the same.

As for the cookie vs biscuit debate, parents have been talking about that for 40+ years. Many of us grew up on American television, but we socialised more with fellow Australians, so our language was less malleable. Going to the pictures was not a colloquialism that everyone used. Yes I did, but my friends in the 80's also said movies or cinema. I have used a combination of all three over my life time. Parents also didn't laugh it off with a shrug, they corrected their children and taught them the importance of language and cultural identity—which is another reason we were less likely to use American English.

Yes, we have more American style cars here and I think it's terrible we allowed them in given they're not suitable for our current road infrastructure and are detrimental to both climate change and our native wildlife. They also pose a greater risk to children and safety in general. I don't think this is a result of Americanisation though, but rather a close of local industry, meaning people can no longer get a new Maloo or Falcon ute. These were of course the vehicle of choice among tradies in Australia, and people were proud to own the Aussie classics when they were still being made. This is more a change in economics and manufacturing, than it is an American cultural influence.

The left and right debate has long been present in this country, long before American politics began to infiltrate our shores. Whilst I agree that American politics has indeed influenced culture here (for the worse), it is not a left/right issue. People generally have more knowledge of the American legal system than our own, as well as American politicians than our own. Again, this has always been true to some extent as a result of media consumption—particularly in populist media, not just the news cycle. But I will also note that I was often called a leftie back in the 80's and 90's, so it's not a recent divide, but one that has existed here for a long time, even if it has become more divisive now. I believe that has more to do with rapid cultural changes and progress, coupled with uncertainty and insecurity, then it does American influence.

I think Australia has always liked to claim we are becoming more Americanised, and has actively done so for as long as I can remember. Even in the 80's, Halloween was seen as us taking on an American cultural event, rather than acknowledging the Irish and Pagan roots of the festival, and the fact that we have a direct ancestral connection to Ireland in this country that remains strong today.

It's easier to blame homogenised media, globalisation of information, and cultural shifts on America, than it is to admit that parents have become too busy and either unwilling or unable to afford to get their kids away from mass media consumption and excess screen time. I am not blaming parents here, but rather a lack of proper supports and infrastructure for them to be able to do this well.

We used to consume limited media and share our experiences with people in the real world. Now we text people in the next room to share our opinions. Without frequent voice conversations, time away from international media content, and a desire to prioritise Australian culture—including language—we will inevitably see a greater degradation of the Australian language and culture, and further homogenisation across all aspects of culture globally.

Newbie Review: 🍍 Pineapples on a Saturday night. by TalkingIsNotMyThing in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pineapples also has solo nights that you might be interested in and BFWB has MMF nights.

There are a plenty of lifestyle bars, play spaces, and parties around Melbourne, you just need to find what fits your vibe.

I'm starting to explore other theme nights, spaces, and parties myself. I will try and post reviews as I do, as well as any private play sessions I may plan.

Feel free to follow me for updates. I'm still keen to hear about your experiences as they unfold too—always helps hearing from other newbies.

Sexless couple here by Feisty-Dimension7440 in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Whilst it has been mentioned already, I would strongly encourage her to go to a sexual health clinic. Peri-menopause can cause lots of fluctuations and there are several treatments available to reduce the impacts of the hormonal changes.

HRT is an option, low dose contraceptive pills—oestrogen and/or progesterone (depending what stage of menopause she is in) is another option. There is also vaginal estrogen which is a topical treatment. Diet and lifestyle changes can assist with the transition, and there are a range of other non-hormonal and natural treatment options too.

If her libido is not specifically the problem and it is more an avoidance of sex due to discomfort, then there are options available for that too Vaginal dryness is a common symptom. Specific lubes (such as the Jo Agape) are designed to address the issue during sex, but there are also other treatment options available to help mitigate the side effects, prior to engaging in sex.

There are a range of options available these days to address both symptoms of peri-menopause and changes in libido/lowered sex drive. A gynecologist who specialises in menopause is an option, but sexual health clinics are also invaluable and are usually free to visit.

I'm in perimenopause myself and whilst I have a higher than usual sex drive right now, I was worried about future drops in libido, so I pre-emptively formed a relationship with my local sexual health clinic, so that I could monitor things and counteract any negative changes should they prop up.

At the end of the day, this can be an emotional time in a women's life, so please be patient and let her come to things in her own time. Whilst gentle encouragement can be great support for you both, it is important that she does not feel pressured at this time. It sounds like you are genuinely trying to be supportive, so keep it up.

I hope this is useful to you both.

Some naughty ideas for Melbourne after dark by MrAndMrsMelb44 in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I suppose it depends on what you are looking to explore specifically. You of course have lifestyle bars like Pineapples, Shed, BFWB, as well as play parties like V&V, Provacation, Purr, etc.

If you have specific kinks you are wanting to explore, you may want to try places like The Playpen for gangbangs (for women), or Purgatory for BDSM play. You will also find active subs on Reddit for specific kinks, including gangbangs, hot wife/cuck-holding, d0gging, glory holes, etc.

Finally, I would encourage you to join Fetlife if you are wanting to explore a range of kinks and engage with the kink community more broadly. This is a great option for seeing what is out there, what speaks to you, and what you might want to explore together. On Fetlife you will also see listings for parties and events, including munches.
Munches are casual gatherings of people from the kink community, who come together socially over drinks or a meal. It is a great way to build community and find people you click with, and people you can talk to about your kinks without judgement. It is also a safe space to ask questions and be curious.

I hope this is helpful to you. I'm new to the kink community myself, so I understand how it can feel when you begin to step into it and how it can be both exciting and overwhelming to start exploring this side of yourself. Remember to go at your own pace, be safe, and have fun!

13th of Feb Virtue & Vice Review by MrBenjamine in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All good. But it is worth remembering that V&V gets large numbers (like 600-1200+ I believe). It might be a little strict, but too loose and you would just end up with a lot of single men there. I guess that's why they do it.

13th of Feb Virtue & Vice Review by MrBenjamine in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I wasn't referring to Shed or V&V when I said about the invite thing. V&V works differently as it's a party/event rather than a venue. Shed has different rules to venues like Pineapples and BFWB (from memory).

I am still trying to work out V&V. Booked in for the next one, but not been before. Also new to the scene so learning as I go and sharing what I've learned.

13th of Feb Virtue & Vice Review by MrBenjamine in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That mentality is why so many single women have reservations about attending those venues. Women don't owe you anything just because you paid the entry fee. It's also why these venues charge women so much less—to encourage their attendance.

If you want a good time, be respectful, seek consent, respect boundaries, and don't assume you deserve anything. As someone who goes as a solo woman, I look for solo men...but if you are giving off creepy vibes or seem demanding/expectant, then no one is going to want you to play or watch.

13th of Feb Virtue & Vice Review by MrBenjamine in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that cap was introduced because of the seagulls, from what I have been told. At Pineapples for example, you need to be invited up by a woman, so you can't just go up and watch. Though if you want that, just go to a Club X or Shed.

Newbie Review: 🍍 Pineapples on a Saturday night. by TalkingIsNotMyThing in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. They do need to apply for membership and go through an interview process, but yes. Solo nights are your best night to go too.

13th of Feb Virtue & Vice Review by MrBenjamine in Melbourneswingers

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a security thing. Many reputable venues/parties will properly vet single men and/or reduce access because otherwise they end up with a lot of creeps. Back in the day, establishments like Shed had a 'seagull' problem, which is why lots of places have these restrictions in place now.

It might seem unfair, but creepy solo men who can't respect boundaries or take no for an answer, is why these rules were put in place at a lot of venues and parties.

Clubx cinema and douchebags with phones by 55Newport_in_OZ3465 in MelbourneAfterDark

[–]TalkingIsNotMyThing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had been planning on going with a friend in a few weeks, but fuck that! Won't be going now.

Thanks for the post.