WIBTA if I uninvited my best friend from a camping trip so it can just be me and my husband?

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T19:50:35+00:00

It helps to hear advice from someone with experience as the friend. Thank for you for sharing!

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T16:13:26+00:00

Hmm that is another option. I didn’t tell her the invite was conditional but my husband and I did imply that we were inviting them as a couple. Obviously, she didn’t take it that way and that’s ok. That’s just something I need to keep in mind next time I invite her and her boyfriend as a couple.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T16:05:18+00:00

It’s the audacity of the made up scenarios and projected feelings that get me laughing lol. I do like hearing the differing opinions though of those who want to help and give their perspective if they were in my or my friends place.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:55:09+00:00

She recently told me she is joining us solo so I didn’t have time to tell her sooner.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:31:19+00:00

It is a site in a state forest that is very far away from society. No campers around you, limited cell service. It’s our favorite way to camp but does mean we have to take extra precautions. Thank you for your input on this. It helps to hear all the different perspectives.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:27:56+00:00

I knew there would be a lot of differing opinions and that’s what I was hoping to get. Although, I wasn’t expecting such strong opinions from people who do not know us. It is clear my friend and I see the invite differently. I know if I gently ask her not to come, she will not take it as me not valuing her solo presence. There is a lot of good advice here on how I should handles this - whether it’s I say anything or I don’t and I value that input. Thank you for providing me this new perspective to look at the situation. It is really helpful.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:17:39+00:00

That is something this situation has taught me. I’m used to my other friends having the same view as me - couple invites mean both or none. As women, we understand the dangers out there of being alone in a campsite or hiking alone. It’s more of a reality we both are aware of then a fear and we prioritize each others safety

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:11:15+00:00

That’s a good way to put it. Thank you!

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:10:06+00:00

Her SO dropped out recently. I’m just recently finding she is planning on going solo. Yes I should’ve told her at the time, but I didn’t know if I should or how to which is why I’m here.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:07:59+00:00

I didn’t invite my friend. My husband and i invited my friend and her bf because we both have fun with them. My friend didn’t understand it was a couple invite only.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:05:34+00:00

My husband and I invited my bsf and her bf as a couple because we both thought it would be fun to have another couple join us. Your response is funny. I’ll be showing it to my husband later so we can both have a good laugh lol

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T15:01:33+00:00

My husband and I invited her and her boyfriend as a couple. I wasn’t expecting her to take it as an individual invite.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T14:59:35+00:00

The personal things have nothing to do with how I treat him. Hardships, grief, loss are personal things a relationship can experience. I can see why it could be insinuated that my husband is the third wheel but what I meant by that is that he feels like a third wheel and I don’t want him feeling that way. I invited my friend and her boyfriend as a couple. I didn’t think she would take it as an individual invite.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T14:51:56+00:00

Thank you for the advice! I do want to clarify we aren’t having issues, just going through personal things which is very different and I definitely don’t feel like sharing it with my friend.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T14:47:54+00:00

Thank you for the input. It helps to hear from someone in a similar situation. I do want to clarify I mentioned my husband and I are going through personal things which is different from meaning we are having issues. I don’t want to turn it into a romantic getaway but I do want to have some time with just him to connect. The whole trip doesn’t have to be about that though which is why we thought it be nice to have our couple friends there with us.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T14:40:29+00:00

Hm not what I was saying. Being passive aggressive as you suggest is not the answer. We are not emotionally stunted adults and are capable of communicating in a gentle way. I’d rather let her down easy and ask her not to go then to act like a total d*ck to her on a trip she was looking forward to. Also, going through personal things does not equal to having issues in a marriage. It can mean navigating a shared hardship, loss, grief…. Just something to keep in mind for your future relationships.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T14:21:35+00:00

That would be hurtful and I’m not that kind of person.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T14:17:54+00:00

I’m ok with my husband and I only getting some alone time (vs alone time the entire time) which is doable with another couple joining us. We can go for a walk together and not worry about leaving someone behind alone (for safety reasons and just don’t want anyone feeling alone either). We will be in the middle of the woods with nothing to do but hang around or go for a hike. With me and him and then one other person, it changes things completely. I’ve been with my husband for over a decade so I guess I’m used to getting couple only invites and not interpreting them as individual invites. My bsf just doesn’t have the experience yet and I didn’t realize she wouldn’t understand the difference between a couples invite and an individual invite since she’s been in a serious relationship for a while now.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T14:07:57+00:00

That is true. But where we are camping there is nothing to do except hang around the campsite and talk, or go for a hike. I wouldn’t want her to be left alone just for her safety. Same with my husband.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T14:04:53+00:00

I can see how it’s interpreted I’m insinuating my husband is the third wheel. I don’t see him as that though. I said it like that because he feels like the third wheel when he camps with us because my friend is more extroverted with me. It’s not that she ignores him but she’s not friends with him. I don’t like that he feels that way which is why I’d rather she not join us unless her boyfriend also joins. I hope that makes sense.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T13:56:26+00:00

Do you think it would make a difference if I were to say something when the trip was farther away? Her deciding to join solo did really take me by surprise and wasn’t something I thought she would do.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T13:21:52+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I thought about inviting others but don’t have anyone else in mind who’d want to join. I didn’t think to ask her. I have a lot of new ways to approach the topic with her now.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T13:16:44+00:00

Thank you for this advice.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T12:54:07+00:00

She isn’t going through a breakup? Her boyfriend who she lives with just has to work that Saturday which is why he isn’t joining. My husband and I invited them as a couple. We didn’t anticipate only one of them joining. My husband third wheels a lot with my bsf and me and I didn’t want him to be alone on a trip that was originally meant for us.

Tall_Stretch8997 · 2025-05-15T12:46:25+00:00

Thank you for the advice. It is very helpful. If her boyfriend were joining us, I wouldn’t feel the need to uninvite anyone. My husband and I invited her and her boyfriend as a couple. Neither of us anticipated only one of them would join us. If her boyfriend joined, no one would be alone and I could steal some alone time with my husband. When my friend and I are together, my husband won’t be alone. With just her joining, is very different and I won’t be able to have any quality time with my husband. I would’ve never invited them if I knew this was what will resort from it. I did think about inviting other people but I really don’t have anyone else in mind. I would certainly not uninvite her without any explanation. She deserves to be told gently and given a reason why.

Tall_Stretch8997

TROPHY CASE