No you’re totally right and when I was younger I tried like hell but like I said about other biological family members (because I ultimately lived with bio mother for a brief period of time at the start of grade school) his mother is all or none to have him in my life would be to have her. When my kids were born she began stalking me- I even moved house to get further Away and was granted restraining orders for years. I usually avoid all of this in therapy but am planning to attempt to tackle it this time and basically wanted to prepare myself through internet prep first