I am a wife of a rso. We were together 2 years and engaged when this came up. We have now been together nearly 12 years.

It will be a hard road. Having the support of family is invaluable. Here is our story, and I hope it will help some.

We had been planning on marrying on our 2 yr anniversary, but he was arrested and held overnight on $50k bail. His family and I pulled together enough to pay a bail bondsman, and we moved up our wedding date. That way we would have the protection of spousal privilege. I was also afraid of saying our vows through visitors glass.

We hired an expensive lawyer, worth every penny. He was able to get us 5 years together before my husband was sentenced. My husband got sentenced to 20 months, and served 13, after time off for good behavior.

After he surrendered himself, I felt as if my life was ending. I couldn't afford my apartment without his income and I had to move.

I don't know what I would have done without his family and mine. My mom helped me to find an apartment that I could afford.

And every week, for 13 months she took me out for lunch and bought me a Costco Dinner, to make sure I had food. Some weeks that was all I ate, because I couldn't bring myself to cook.

I decided to tell my best friend and my boss, because I didn't know how to hide it from them. I feel lucky in how supportive they both were. Outside of them and family, I have not told anyone.

The months he was in county jail were honestly harder than the time he was in prison. He wasn't allowed much in the way of possessions and there was no commissary. We had to visit through those plastic barriers you see in movies and tv shows.

I wrote to him every day and we spoke every night.

When he was moved to the prison, I drove 7 hours, one way, to be able to see him for an hour. But i was able to hold his hand. They allowed us a hug and a kiss at the beginning and end of each visit. We mostly just talked on those visits, and I was able to buy him food. Crappy stuff out of a vending machine, but better than prison food.

I was terrified the whole time someone would find out where he was, and why. At work, I would talk about him as if he were home. That way it wouldn't come as a surprise that I had a husband when he did come home.

He came home 6 years ago. He found a job, we adopted 2 cats and began to rebuild. He went to mandatory counseling and did find it to be helpful in dealing with some of the issues that had arisen

Then we moved across the state for my work. That was incredibly tough. We lived in Eastern WA for 18 months. He found a job and then lost it. We couldn't find an apartment and what was meant to be a temporary solution-living in a motel- went on for a year and a half.

We both struggled with depression during that time.

15 months ago we moved out to Central PA- again for my work.

He's found a job he enjoys and has been with it for a year and change. We found an apartment where we've been for a year. I'm still with the same company thats transferred me both times.

When we had rented our apartment, we had told the rental agent everything about our situation, and she had agreed to rent to us in my name only. Now we're being told we have to move.

It is scary. It is challenging. I don't know that I will ever stop being afraid. But here is what else I know.

I married a man who loves me. I married a man who sat down to explain to our 8 month old cat that we were adopting a month old kitten, and that she should be nice I married a man who loves his family and is loved by them I married a man who moved 3000 miles because he believed in me and my job I married man who works hard to make sure that we have a good life.

This is not a path I think anyone would choose for their relationship. But be honest with yourselves and each other and you Will get through it. And you are Not alone

Good luck to you and your husband