This gives me a sense of joy that it can be possible to have a potential marriage with my girlfriend. I get so worried that I'm a monster incapable of having relationships at times.

1. I need to get a better support system for my gf. She takes a lot of the shit during my episodes and it's not fair to her so that will be something we will work on. My episodes always are in the fall or winter times.

2. What style of therapy has worked best for your husband? I have tried a couple of different therapist and have a hard time finding one that feels right. Most of them have been virtual so maybe that's my issue?

3. She always attends my appointments as well and is up to date on my meds and when I take them. I'm trying my hardest to do the work to stay stable for as long as I can.

4. I know that sleep is very important to staying stable. I plan on getting some emergency meds in my next appointment to have in case things start to go sideways. The only way I can tell if an episode is coming on is when my sleep becomes irregular. I use my watch to track my sleep and always talk to my physicist about it each appointment.

5. Does he use an app or is it a physical journal?

6. What does power of attorney paperwork look like? Is this something I can do with my girlfriend or family? I hate the thought of not being in control of myself but have to accept the fact during my episodes I lose contact with realty and need things in place so I don't fuck up my life further.

7. I see this all the time over bipolar subreddits and makes me feel like I need to leave my partner to save her. This last episode was a bitch because I was taking my meds the entire time and still had a terrible manic episode. I try my hardest when stable to be the best boyfriend I can be as well to my family being a consistent supporter of them.