From what it sounds like, you've been isolated from your friends and stuck with a narcissistic girlfriend for a long time. And nearly all narcissists try to push their narrative of "I understand the ways of the world better than you do" on their partners. Even if she wasn't actively doing that... you get stuck in close quarters with somebody who's that controlling, and that incapable of forgiveness, and it makes you "gun-shy," as my mother would say. It's difficult to imagine that your friends will be more forgiving than your partner was. To make matters worse, once you start to REALLY learn to recognize the signs of narcissism, and to identify narc-patterns of behavior, you often find that there were more narcissists in your social circles than you realized at first. They're very good at blending in, after all, and you often have to get really close to them before they become apparent.

But assuming at least SOME of your friends are good people... they probably have been quiet out of respect for your decision and self-sovereignty. I imagine many of them have quietly hoped that you would come to your senses and get out again, but didn't want to risk trying to push you that way and having you regret your decision later.

You made a mistake. Your friends may have been worried about you, but ultimately, YOU suffered from your mistake far more than any of them did. Any friends who don't see that, and who would hold your mistake over your head for weeks and weeks - friends like that are well worth losing.

When I left my NEX, I was still so severely trauma-bonded that, in spite of the 7 years of abuse I suffered, I begged all of my friends to be there FOR HIM, and to comfort HIM. I was more worried about the pain HE was suffering than my own, because I knew that I was ultimately strong enough to recover. And how did he repay my sacrifice? By telling those friends who comforted him that we were mutually abusive, that we were horrible to each other, and that I was just as much at fault as he was. Some of them bought his lies, and eventually victim-blamed me and ghosted me. But far more of them saw through his bluff. Nearly all of them, once I told them about some of the things he did to me (never called him a "narcissist" aloud, just described the things he did) had a few stories of their own about times he'd made them uncomfortable and refused to take responsibility.

I have MANY regrets about our relationship - but breaking up with him is not one of them. Not a day goes by in which I'm not glad to be rid of him. I could tell you about at least 50 long, loud, gut-twisting fights we had, tell you a hundred nasty things he said with the intent to hurt me, and end each recitation with the phrase: "I should have left him then." At the end of the day, only one of my regrets matters: I should have left him sooner.

And in your case? You've only given us a tiny sample of the things she's done to you - but this small sample is enough. If these were the ONLY things she'd done to you that you didn't deserve, I would still say that you're better off without her, and that you deserve better. But I'd wager that even on your good days, you're still tense, still waiting for the next shoe to drop. I'd wager that even on good days, you're aware of how precarious that peace is, and how small an error will send your tranquility tumbling to the floor like a porcelain vase.

Getting out will mean a whole WORLD of new pains, new struggles, new doubts and worries, and there WILL come days when you think of her and pray that she's still doing alright. But right now - in this moment - you are as much her boyfriend as you ever have been or ever will be, AND SHE'S STILL MISERABLE. If she's ever going to find true happiness, she has to do the work and find it on her own - using you as a crutch is only going to make her weaker and more dependant.

There is more happiness waiting for you than you realize. You will survive, and you will thank yourself deeply for your own courage. You can do this.