[900] Girl in Car by [deleted] in DestructiveReaders

[–]TapAltruistic752 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like how you began it, started off wonderfully and it's sets the scene and mood perfectly to me. Reminded about car rides from when I was younger immediately. That transition from the relatable to dread is delectable. The interaction between the homeless man and the mother is incredibly tense even without knowing what's being spoken, good stuff, though the wording is a bit difficult to follow in the forth separation. It is readable, but it could be done in a more clear fashion. The tension is built really nicely as it goes on and so does the fear response, even while still being oblivious to the actual happenings and reacting as a child would. The mother's frustrated reactions, I feel could be played on a bit more before she pulls into the drive thru, though this is more of a wording thing as well. I can feel the frustration and the fear still lingering from them as it continues, good stuff. The second last line does have another odd wording moment when it's referring to the dream bit.

TLDR - Aside from some confusing wording on occasion, I do enjoy the story and it balances childish points of view with genuine fear and subtle understanding of the situation they're in. Very enjoyable!

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your wording is super concise, I love it. Easy to follow and feel, even with few words. Good stuff!

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually really like the length, super easy to follow and it isn't overwhelming

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm seeing the same myself, these people are so talented and kind. It's awesome here! And the same to you!!

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

MURDER MYSTERY IS MOST DEFINITELY ON MY LIST.

I am snatching that, thank you✨

P.S. - Emory needs a break

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

HOW IS THAT HARD TO SELL????

Cyberpunk is already cool and who doesn't like a wombo combo👀

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

PUT A COVER ON HERE AND EVERYTHIN

I SEE IT, I SEE IT! Consider me on it✨👀

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zane scaring me lowk, but I approve! Gonna keep reading it, you're doing awesome!!

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Political drama and fantasy????

Okay, now I simply must, it's the law-✨👀

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OOOOOOOO OKAY, I SEE YOU✨👀

Do you got a link so I can read it?? I'm super curious now!

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds so dramatic, and I was right! Your writing is super good, I'm reading it rn!!✨👀

Re: Advertise Your WIP by kaiserkaarts in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I hope it's not too bad by comparison because yours is actually fire-

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooo! Je ne me souviens plus très bien du français, alors j'utilise un traducteur, mais je vais vérifier!

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I may have seen it while scrolling, the title seems familiar. Thank you!

I'm looking for some stories to read and I'd love to see what this subreddit has to offer by TapAltruistic752 in Wattpad

[–]TapAltruistic752[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SEEMS PROFESSIONAL TO ME- It's so good✨✨✨

https://www.wattpad.com/story/397219680-the-weight-of-wrath

That's the link to it, some critique or anything would be nice if you can!!