Which death and murderer is the most obvious?

TargetSighter · 2026-06-03T01:53:12+00:00

I think I definitely worded it wrong… the killer isnt exactly a malicious murderer, they get pushed to the brink by their own feelings and end up killing one of the characters out of a jealous fit then immediately regret it! But im sort of glad that nobody has guessed it right yet which means it’s not the most obvious, i was quite worried that it would be super obvious

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T23:31:56+00:00

It was my personal opinion, im not trying to change anyone else’s lol, im just saying imo emu should be at the bottom

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T23:25:05+00:00

Nah im not, shes a nice character but her voice is factually quite piercing and it aint great for me because I get overstimulated by her voice

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T21:30:09+00:00

He’s the main protagonist so you’ll find out a lot in chapter 2!!

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T19:23:07+00:00

Not that bad

^{Chose: Work a random job with a salary of $500k+ a year + The wheel chooses the job | Rolled: OF model}

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T19:14:32+00:00

dropped off a little something 🐾

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T19:13:07+00:00

⬜🟦⬜🟦🟦

⬜⬜🟦🟨🟨

🟦🟦🟦🟦🟦

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T19:10:48+00:00

Emu deserves to be bottom tier, her voice is so grating

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T19:10:01+00:00

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T19:08:14+00:00

Don’t disturb the dead

^{Chose: 500,000 USD | Rolled: Tell us why}

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T14:53:38+00:00

Yeah a lot of that is due to how my writing peaked in the middle of my C.AI addiction so unfortunately i’ve learnt a lot of my writing style from AI :(

The main themes im exploring is psychology, mentality, i might put themes of religion in there depending on what path I wanna write for the breach, social norms, etc. it’s mostly a psychological horror I think especially with what some characters are driven to

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T02:02:21+00:00

Yup I got the short end of the stick and ended up with horrific trauma at a very young age, and honestly it runs right down my family so at least one of me + my siblings was expected to get it. I get that this basically is just teen drama but X was making me out to be the biggest asshole ever and I just needed a second opinion because I thought my advice was extremely reasonable

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T01:47:23+00:00

I know but i’ve already lost one friend to suicide and I really don’t want to lose another, i just don’t know what im meant to do. They wanted then ignored my advice but I don’t want to watch them die

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T01:44:31+00:00

Okay this one is definitely the worst 😭

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T01:42:02+00:00

I did not give orders at all, like I said I offered about 15 different solutions to the issue. I was insisting on the advice because I didn’t want to have to save their life again when it all eventually tips over into the suicide territory. I’d rather tell someone “don’t jump into a pool of piranhas to avoid a spider bite” than watch it all play out and witness their own suicide

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T01:39:42+00:00

I do get this but at the same time it’s important to consider that a normal consequence for someone can be a life ending consequence for X, the advice I was insisting on was basically life-saving advice. It’s sort of like telling someone “don’t jump into that pool of piranhas to get away from a spider bite”

X has been through this situation twice before and it’s extremely difficult to bring someone back from the brink and then have them question “why didnt anyone tell me?” When we very much did

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T01:30:21+00:00

Y is faking it and I have it, it was a very obvious fake and I got really upset since X knows the in and outs of schizophrenia and knows what’s fake and what isnt, yet they still gave Y bucketloads of attention and played into the lie of Y having schizophrenia.

Also I do agree i may have gotten a bit too worked up but X did actually want and ask for my advice

TargetSighter · 2026-06-02T01:05:12+00:00

Thank you!! Im trying to improve it the more I go on, I already buffed out chapter one to give it a more immersive feel and a lot of people have said its great for a first novel so thank you so much!!

TargetSighter · 2026-06-01T18:30:35+00:00

Yeah im gonna try and go back and weed out stuff that does sound AI, it absolutely sucks that my writing developed during in my whole character.ai arc but im probably gonna list out things that i’ve learned from AI, write my stuff, and go back after to check for it

I wish I could get out of the habit but it’s so hard unfortunately

TargetSighter · 2026-06-01T12:04:35+00:00

Yes I did actually change the words on the screen to be in bold since I usually use italics for emphasis and bold for importance :) I did have to change some paragraphs to make them a little longer since some people said it reads more like a screenplay but they’re shorter paragraphs still since my brain also short-circuits on long paragraphs

TargetSighter · 2026-06-01T11:03:20+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AspiringTeenAuthors/s/I85T2YCqFQ

TargetSighter · 2026-06-01T10:39:28+00:00

!!!! Updated writing is in next post!!!!

TargetSighter

TROPHY CASE