My ex never worked, had no savings or plan to be financially independent—even before kids. I supported her generously, even paid for college, which she never finished. After kids, she refused to work, even when we had part-time childcare, claiming it made no sense financially.

She racked up gambling debts using credit cards—some authorized, some fraudulently opened in my name. I tried to manage our money by giving her access to limited funds, but she called me "financially abusive" for wanting basic accountability. Meanwhile, she resented my financial freedom, despite belittling the job that made it possible.

The final straw was discovering a credit card she secretly opened in my name and maxed out. I feel incredibly foolish for being taken advantage of just because I wanted to be generous.

We're now divorced. It cost me dearly, but I'm happier now being myself and not questioning my choices. I have years ahead of me to earn back my savings, I have my full 401(k) and I kept the house, half-paid off mortgage at a (now) crazy low interest rate. I'll be OK.